Prosetry
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Wind"Story telling poems
25 total reviews
Comment from honeytree
Great art work for these words written
Within our lives we have to be careful
who we know, we have to be sure we are safe
their are many evil people within our world
who we watch out for.
Honeytree
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Great art work for these words written
Within our lives we have to be careful
who we know, we have to be sure we are safe
their are many evil people within our world
who we watch out for.
Honeytree
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Yes , it was great writing a myth.
Comment from Liberty Justice
POWERFUL and moving. Such amazing story poem strength and bravery. Bold one protected his tribe and brought food and shelter. Too bad ruler brought down by evil woman who caused his demise. liberty justice
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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POWERFUL and moving. Such amazing story poem strength and bravery. Bold one protected his tribe and brought food and shelter. Too bad ruler brought down by evil woman who caused his demise. liberty justice
Comment Written 05-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 05-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I always trust your reviews.
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Comment from jlsavell
Jusylee72, this is acwonderful story in a poetic format. You could make this a modern day opera! Absolutely loved it. JLSAVELL
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Jusylee72, this is acwonderful story in a poetic format. You could make this a modern day opera! Absolutely loved it. JLSAVELL
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. So funny that you said an Opera. I am a singer and have sung in many operas. love this.
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Jusylee
WOW! You've certainly landed in FS with a blast! Perhaps Wind and her creator have much in common ... just beware of the dark. I find your free verse captivating. A tribal story told as the ancients would see it. In fact I read as if the tale is whispered by the wind itself, in personification of itself. A sad outcome for one so young, yet you restore her spirit in your conclusion in an up-lifting and inspiring manner, and very much as a Myth of the Wind. A most enjoyable read. I've just joined the potlatch group with this post ... of course, as a free verse poet, I was excited to do this challenge. I might find some of the rhyme and meter forms more daunting. :)) I've come across your work a lot and fin you very talented and so ready to learn and improve your craft. I wish you all the best and I'm thrilled to be associated with some of our fine poets in this group. I think we all will receive much learning. Warm Regards - Lovi xoxo
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Hi Jusylee
WOW! You've certainly landed in FS with a blast! Perhaps Wind and her creator have much in common ... just beware of the dark. I find your free verse captivating. A tribal story told as the ancients would see it. In fact I read as if the tale is whispered by the wind itself, in personification of itself. A sad outcome for one so young, yet you restore her spirit in your conclusion in an up-lifting and inspiring manner, and very much as a Myth of the Wind. A most enjoyable read. I've just joined the potlatch group with this post ... of course, as a free verse poet, I was excited to do this challenge. I might find some of the rhyme and meter forms more daunting. :)) I've come across your work a lot and fin you very talented and so ready to learn and improve your craft. I wish you all the best and I'm thrilled to be associated with some of our fine poets in this group. I think we all will receive much learning. Warm Regards - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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thank you so much. I have found so much understanding and support for this group. Your review was so heartwarming and thoughtful. I too feel like I have found a place to learn and grow.
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There are so many fabulous people here and all willing to help. I couldn't write a thing when I arrived here four years ago. We've lost some of our marvellous and most helpful writers, yet there are so many to fill their shoes. You seem to be fitting right in and many already enjoy what you're puting out. I'm not here as much as I'd like, so having trouble keeping up with those I've been following for a long time. I'm sure your talent will be recognised here and you will learn so much. I have. Take care. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment from papa55mike
I love the flow of this poem and it's so well written. I can't let my poetry flow like that, I have to be more structured. For some reason. I love the picture and your poem fits it perfectly. I wish I had a six for you. Have a great day and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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I love the flow of this poem and it's so well written. I can't let my poetry flow like that, I have to be more structured. For some reason. I love the picture and your poem fits it perfectly. I wish I had a six for you. Have a great day and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 04-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 04-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. This means the world to me.
Comment from BeasPeas
Hi jusylee. This is a wonderfully composed poem, full of imagery. It tells a tale of wind, almost tribal fashion, folklore by word-of-mouth as in:
"I escape slowly from the earthen grave
one slight breeze at a time
it is rumored throughout the tribe
that when they feel a soft warm wind
it is me."
Many good lines here. I like the use of no caps and no punctuation which emphasizes the small voice of the speaker. Marilyn
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Hi jusylee. This is a wonderfully composed poem, full of imagery. It tells a tale of wind, almost tribal fashion, folklore by word-of-mouth as in:
"I escape slowly from the earthen grave
one slight breeze at a time
it is rumored throughout the tribe
that when they feel a soft warm wind
it is me."
Many good lines here. I like the use of no caps and no punctuation which emphasizes the small voice of the speaker. Marilyn
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much, I had so much fun letting my mind wander with it. I love Fan Story.
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You're welcome.
Comment from Caressa_08
Very creative and a story I will remember, as it is difficult to envision myself as wind, and I guess Mother Nature is where it originates from, who delivered her, that is in your poem referring to, I assume. And, being its a part of nature and that what is around us, alive, though a force that is different than a flower or an animal, though its strong force I can sure feel it today with the 45 mph wind gusts (though should of been in March & pray for no tornadoes) as so strong grounding airplanes to fly with the wind advisories issued today in Bloomington, Illinois...Though,hope it brings warmer Spring weather, especially at night and out of the 30's. And definitely not a day to plant grass seed.
God Bless...Caressa_08
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Very creative and a story I will remember, as it is difficult to envision myself as wind, and I guess Mother Nature is where it originates from, who delivered her, that is in your poem referring to, I assume. And, being its a part of nature and that what is around us, alive, though a force that is different than a flower or an animal, though its strong force I can sure feel it today with the 45 mph wind gusts (though should of been in March & pray for no tornadoes) as so strong grounding airplanes to fly with the wind advisories issued today in Bloomington, Illinois...Though,hope it brings warmer Spring weather, especially at night and out of the 30's. And definitely not a day to plant grass seed.
God Bless...Caressa_08
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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thank you so much. Wind was written in a challenge to write from this prompt " Myth of the Wind" We only had an hour to write it.
Comment from Dustybones
I'm not that familiar with the challenge of which you've written this wonderful poem about. I will say in my review that you've created a real fine story with a bit of drama built in. Good Job!
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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I'm not that familiar with the challenge of which you've written this wonderful poem about. I will say in my review that you've created a real fine story with a bit of drama built in. Good Job!
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Thank you, Yesterday I found on Fan Story Forum a Group that meets on Saturdays 600 eastern time. They give you a prompt and you have one hour to write about it then we all read each others and critique them. That was my first time and I truly enjoyed it.
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
and my mothers eyes filled with love (mother's)
A good poem. I love the personification of wind in this. My only suggestion might be to divide it into stanzas. I usually have an easier time with smaller 'chunks' of information, but that is just me. I enjoyed this, my friend~Debbie
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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and my mothers eyes filled with love (mother's)
A good poem. I love the personification of wind in this. My only suggestion might be to divide it into stanzas. I usually have an easier time with smaller 'chunks' of information, but that is just me. I enjoyed this, my friend~Debbie
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. That truly might make it easier to read. Thank you so much for the edit. Fanstory has and is truly helping me write.
Comment from brenda bickers
Hi C.J,
This was a wonderful response to the potlatch challenge, you have come up with a very enjoyable and convincing poem about the wind.
A great read
Brenda
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Hi C.J,
This was a wonderful response to the potlatch challenge, you have come up with a very enjoyable and convincing poem about the wind.
A great read
Brenda
Comment Written 03-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 03-Apr-2016
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Thank you so much. I love the idea of getting a prompt and then having to write in a short time. It is a true challenge.
