Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 395 "Golden Painted Sky"Small and Specialty Poems
17 total reviews
Comment from sunnilicious
Sunrises and sunsets can be so beautiful if we just take the time to enjoy them. I enjoyed your poem. Lovely perspective presented. Well thought out and nicely written. Descriptive just the right way. Nice work.
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Sunrises and sunsets can be so beautiful if we just take the time to enjoy them. I enjoyed your poem. Lovely perspective presented. Well thought out and nicely written. Descriptive just the right way. Nice work.
Comment Written 02-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 02-Apr-2016
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Thank you Alicia, glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing the spectacular sunset in your photograph and Tuckerman's sonnet, plus your notes about the poet. I relished your rhymes, alliteration of "b's" and "d's" and use of "devoured". Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you for sharing the spectacular sunset in your photograph and Tuckerman's sonnet, plus your notes about the poet. I relished your rhymes, alliteration of "b's" and "d's" and use of "devoured". Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 01-Apr-2016
reply by the author on 01-Apr-2016
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Thank you Joan. Very astute review, well appreciated.
Comment from Just2Write
Wow - Thank you for the new to me form - The Tuckerman Sonnet. I went off and read up on the man and his poetry. While he did not make a huge impact on the poetic world, he was an incredible poet none-the-less. I enjoyed reading some of his works, and think that your poem does the Tuckerman Sonnet justice.
Good strong use of B sounds in Burnished, believing and burn.
Good Volta on line 10, and excellent flow of meter and thought throughout.
I love discoveries of nature, and you turned yours into a wonderful Sonnet.
Rose.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Wow - Thank you for the new to me form - The Tuckerman Sonnet. I went off and read up on the man and his poetry. While he did not make a huge impact on the poetic world, he was an incredible poet none-the-less. I enjoyed reading some of his works, and think that your poem does the Tuckerman Sonnet justice.
Good strong use of B sounds in Burnished, believing and burn.
Good Volta on line 10, and excellent flow of meter and thought throughout.
I love discoveries of nature, and you turned yours into a wonderful Sonnet.
Rose.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much Rose, for this wonderful detailed review. I am very p,eased that you did further research., and that my poem resonated so well with you.
Comment from NicciFaye
You really need to publish a book of poems with all the many different variations of poetry as well as to include the format of notes you provide. I know you say you just do this because you like to write poetry and its a hobby but you are so good at it. This was an excellent poem. I enjoyed every line.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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You really need to publish a book of poems with all the many different variations of poetry as well as to include the format of notes you provide. I know you say you just do this because you like to write poetry and its a hobby but you are so good at it. This was an excellent poem. I enjoyed every line.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you Nicci. I do plan to publish a book of formats some time in the near future. Right now I still finding them all, then I want to write at least 2 examples of each. At this point, the book will be about 500 pages.
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I would image so! You've written a great deal. I will be one of the first to purchase this book! Onward forward!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your picture is awesome, amazing, and beautiful. I enjoyed your sonnet. It clearly tells the story of this amazing sunset that is pictured. However, your great word choices create imagery regardless of a picture. Good job on a difficult format. Thanks for the notes that were very informative. Your presentation is super--the color scheme of the font and background, the awesome picture, the great rhyme, and nice flow of lines. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Your picture is awesome, amazing, and beautiful. I enjoyed your sonnet. It clearly tells the story of this amazing sunset that is pictured. However, your great word choices create imagery regardless of a picture. Good job on a difficult format. Thanks for the notes that were very informative. Your presentation is super--the color scheme of the font and background, the awesome picture, the great rhyme, and nice flow of lines. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much jannypan, for such a wonderfully effusive review.
Comment from IndianaIrish
I enjoyed the emotion and imagery of your sonnet. You are indeed an outstanding photographer and your words bring photo and poem together beautifully.
Smile,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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I enjoyed the emotion and imagery of your sonnet. You are indeed an outstanding photographer and your words bring photo and poem together beautifully.
Smile,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 31-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much Karyn. High praise indeed.
Comment from lightink
This is phenomenal writing, Tom!
I'm always amazed when someone can say something new about a sunset.
Yet, you managed to do that! You poem fully conveys the sense of awe and the phrasing is breathtaking:
"beside a burnished lake reflecting gold,
its colors so intense, it seemed to burn."
" dusk devoured remnants of the day."
It's such a master piece, except I'm out of sixes!
Also, thank you for introducing me to a new sonnet form, I haven't heard about!
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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This is phenomenal writing, Tom!
I'm always amazed when someone can say something new about a sunset.
Yet, you managed to do that! You poem fully conveys the sense of awe and the phrasing is breathtaking:
"beside a burnished lake reflecting gold,
its colors so intense, it seemed to burn."
" dusk devoured remnants of the day."
It's such a master piece, except I'm out of sixes!
Also, thank you for introducing me to a new sonnet form, I haven't heard about!
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
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Thank you Jyoti. I'm always on the look out for new formats. It's amazing how many there are. One of these days I'll write my own wreath, than there is a sequence, and finally a Triple Crown Sonnet, I'd like to do.
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Wow! I'm looking forward to reading them! I recently wrote a triple sonnet crown that I haven't posted yet. Cat called the format "tiara" ;). But they are a full loop.. :). At some point I'll go for a full wreath, as well. I might make it Petrarchan... I'm a much slower writer than you are though...
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Awesome. I've determined that a true Triple Crown has three interlinked circles, which means each crown has three sonnets common to each out of the seven required, so you only have to write 4 unique Sonnets per crown. Draw three linked circles and see what I mean. So I plan to write those three first. However I need to find they're topics that would interact like that.
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Oh no! Nope! I haven't written a triple crown then - just a three sonnet one! Wow! I think I should see yours to fully take in the pattern! Wow! It sounds like a pretty complex form. But those are so rewarding!
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Treischel, A golden masterpiece that unfolded before your eyees. and the eyes of your wife. Blessed is the one who has someone to share their joy ~ the beauty of life. I especially liked:
Believing it a blessing to behold,
I stopped, bewitched, and made a silent prayer
of gratitude, while skepticisms churn
(And in that prayer, an answer appeared)
Great piece of captured artwork ~ worth the stop ~ forever in your heart. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Hello Treischel, A golden masterpiece that unfolded before your eyees. and the eyes of your wife. Blessed is the one who has someone to share their joy ~ the beauty of life. I especially liked:
Believing it a blessing to behold,
I stopped, bewitched, and made a silent prayer
of gratitude, while skepticisms churn
(And in that prayer, an answer appeared)
Great piece of captured artwork ~ worth the stop ~ forever in your heart. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Thank you very much LateBloomer, for your wonderful and encouraging review.
Comment from tfawcus
You a master at picking out the obscure! Tuckerman was a clever man to keep control of his sonnets in this way. It is so easy to let them take their own path, away from one's original intentions, just for the purposes of fulfilling a prescribed rhyme scheme. His flexibility in rhyming gives him much more scope in a language that is not particularly rich in rhyme.
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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You a master at picking out the obscure! Tuckerman was a clever man to keep control of his sonnets in this way. It is so easy to let them take their own path, away from one's original intentions, just for the purposes of fulfilling a prescribed rhyme scheme. His flexibility in rhyming gives him much more scope in a language that is not particularly rich in rhyme.
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Thank you Tony. Good point.
Comment from I am Cat
Tom,
This is a lovely sonnet, I enjoyed it. Beautiful imagery with some great wording
Some thoughts along the way:
I stopped(,) bewitched, and made a silent prayer
of gratitude, while skepticism(s) churn(ed).
(the verb tenses should stay the same here, also, i"m not sure that skepticism needs to be plural, as it's more of an idea, than a plural or singular thing... you know?)
Yet, here it was, a golden painted sky(;)
as dusk devoured remnants of the day[,]
a tinted lake from amber colored air
[that's] spread aloft in radiant display.
(suggest changing the word 'that's' to 'had' because this appears to be an incomplete sentence the way it's worded. what do you think?)
Great sonnet, Tom,
I truly enjoyed it.
Cat
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Tom,
This is a lovely sonnet, I enjoyed it. Beautiful imagery with some great wording
Some thoughts along the way:
I stopped(,) bewitched, and made a silent prayer
of gratitude, while skepticism(s) churn(ed).
(the verb tenses should stay the same here, also, i"m not sure that skepticism needs to be plural, as it's more of an idea, than a plural or singular thing... you know?)
Yet, here it was, a golden painted sky(;)
as dusk devoured remnants of the day[,]
a tinted lake from amber colored air
[that's] spread aloft in radiant display.
(suggest changing the word 'that's' to 'had' because this appears to be an incomplete sentence the way it's worded. what do you think?)
Great sonnet, Tom,
I truly enjoyed it.
Cat
Comment Written 30-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 30-Mar-2016
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Thank you Cat. Based on your input, I made some changes. Thanks for that.
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my pleasure, Tom
