Buzz!
Fly in the ointment...34 total reviews
Comment from Mark Valentine
Absolutely brilliant and hilarious! I may be biased, but I actually think it is harder to write good humorous pieces than it is to write more serious fiction. Your phrases (I particularly liked "winged armada", and of course, "SWMBO"), and the vignettes you share (removing the power tools made me crack up), are wonderful.
The tone is great also - a loving, humor-her-even-as-I-fear-her-craziness, attitude that keeps it sweet and light. And then there is the subject matter - Woman vs. Insect - many will relate and none will sympathize with the flies - even the most devout Jains I'm sure squash their share of these ugly little buggers while they're meditating (the Jains, not the flies).
Loved it Steven! Glad I have a six left!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Absolutely brilliant and hilarious! I may be biased, but I actually think it is harder to write good humorous pieces than it is to write more serious fiction. Your phrases (I particularly liked "winged armada", and of course, "SWMBO"), and the vignettes you share (removing the power tools made me crack up), are wonderful.
The tone is great also - a loving, humor-her-even-as-I-fear-her-craziness, attitude that keeps it sweet and light. And then there is the subject matter - Woman vs. Insect - many will relate and none will sympathize with the flies - even the most devout Jains I'm sure squash their share of these ugly little buggers while they're meditating (the Jains, not the flies).
Loved it Steven! Glad I have a six left!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Mark, for the warm review and the six stars. I probably missed out on a few by posting this late in the week.
I do know that this certainly wasn't easy! But then serious isn't easy, either.
Steve
Comment from kathleenspalding
Hahaha! I can just picture it! Removing your tools was a good idea, LOL!
A funny piece. Very well done. Only thing I thought could be changed was:
Can delete the comma after Deranged.
That's it. Thanks for the laugh! (No flies on you!)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Hahaha! I can just picture it! Removing your tools was a good idea, LOL!
A funny piece. Very well done. Only thing I thought could be changed was:
Can delete the comma after Deranged.
That's it. Thanks for the laugh! (No flies on you!)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Kathleen, thanks so much for the generous review.
Steve
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You're welcome
Comment from Dawn Munro
HAHAHAHAAAAHAHHAAAAHA (pause for breath)AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Steve, oh my goodness, you're trying to kill me. (I have a bad code in my node and chest and laughing mekes me cough.)
What I DON'T have is a *%#@! six for this brilliant little essay - why isn't this entered into a contest, man? (and PLEASE write more prose, and PLEASE kick me to remind me to check you more often - just yesterday I was whining about things beginning to feel like too much work)
HILARIOUS, WITTY, FUN! a flipping THOUSAND, nay, CAZILLION stars - ********************************************************************!
(yup, it was alright. LOL)
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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HAHAHAHAAAAHAHHAAAAHA (pause for breath)AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Steve, oh my goodness, you're trying to kill me. (I have a bad code in my node and chest and laughing mekes me cough.)
What I DON'T have is a *%#@! six for this brilliant little essay - why isn't this entered into a contest, man? (and PLEASE write more prose, and PLEASE kick me to remind me to check you more often - just yesterday I was whining about things beginning to feel like too much work)
HILARIOUS, WITTY, FUN! a flipping THOUSAND, nay, CAZILLION stars - ********************************************************************!
(yup, it was alright. LOL)
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Dawn, thanks for the fun review and the cazillion stars. Hope the code in your node goes away soon - at least when you're writing, no one knows you have a cold.
Steve
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LOL. It was very much my pleasure! (A-a-a-CHOO!)
Comment from foxangie123
Where have you been? I missed your insightful work as it has been awhile. This is another great piece of writing that says the above. Keep em coming.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Where have you been? I missed your insightful work as it has been awhile. This is another great piece of writing that says the above. Keep em coming.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Angie.
Steve
Comment from nancy_e_davis
She has my sympathy. I hate the disgusting germ spreading insects. A fly swatter suffices in my estimation.Don't want to be breathing in those chemicals, I am already on oxygen 24/7 because of chemicals. This was an amusing poem Steve. Great job. Nancy
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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She has my sympathy. I hate the disgusting germ spreading insects. A fly swatter suffices in my estimation.Don't want to be breathing in those chemicals, I am already on oxygen 24/7 because of chemicals. This was an amusing poem Steve. Great job. Nancy
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Nancy. I'll go with chemicals - cleaning splattered fly-guts off everything is no fun.
Steve
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Check paragraph 7. Something is missing after SWMBO. I think you forgot a few words.
Otherwise this is a fun and exceptional read.
Nicely penned and a look into the different way of life.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Check paragraph 7. Something is missing after SWMBO. I think you forgot a few words.
Otherwise this is a fun and exceptional read.
Nicely penned and a look into the different way of life.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Barb - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Adri7enne
Fun stuff, Steve! I loved the tone, all the humour and exagerations. I didn't realize flies were such a problem. It can get pretty bad here, too, in Eastern Canada. I don't ever run out of fly spray either. I keep several bottles of repellant for when I go outdoors, and several cans of killer spray, in case one or two should get into the house. You can't be too careful - not if you want to sleep at night.
Yeah, I could relate. Good that SWIMBO keeps you on the straight and narrow. LOL! Well done. A fun read!
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Fun stuff, Steve! I loved the tone, all the humour and exagerations. I didn't realize flies were such a problem. It can get pretty bad here, too, in Eastern Canada. I don't ever run out of fly spray either. I keep several bottles of repellant for when I go outdoors, and several cans of killer spray, in case one or two should get into the house. You can't be too careful - not if you want to sleep at night.
Yeah, I could relate. Good that SWIMBO keeps you on the straight and narrow. LOL! Well done. A fun read!
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thank you so much for the warm review and the six stars.
Steve
Comment from I am Cat
Hi Steve,
I'm sad, so sad to give this a five, as I had the best time of my life reading this! And isn't that what it's all about?
Wow... this was just chocked full of fun, and sped along with sarcasm, wit, and obvious affection for SWMBO! LOL
Some thoughts along the way and a few ideas for punctuation, etc:
Finally(,) she settled on a series of fly-annihilators fashioned from rolled up newspapers.
Armed with one of these insecticidal truncheons in each hand, she patrolled the premises, swiping wildly at anything that could conceivably have been a fly, while I followed, anxiously trying to protect windows, TV screens, vases, ornaments and great-grandma's heirloom tea-set from the determined and prolonged attack of this avenging angel.
(this is just one example of awesomeness in this ... you've listed some 'things' in the house and added this wonderful example of great grandma's heirloom tea set... awesome! Is it a 'thing' in Australia to hyphenate these things? I notice you hyphenated great grandma, and tea seat... also, later on, (which I mention) tabletop and door frame... which aren't meant to be hyphenated (at least not in this country)... is that a 'thing' there?)
An hour or so later, SWMBO collapsed wearily onto the couch. Evidence of the massacre was smeared on the walls, spattered on the doors and splotched on table-tops and door-frames.
(I don't think that tabletops or door frames are hyphenated, tabletops is one word and door frames is two)
Back home, I hauled the sack of fresh amm(u)nition into the lounge-room.
(again, not sure if this is a difference in spellings, but it's not spelled that way here)
And there, preening himself on her nose was a solitary fly. I swear he winked at me, as I tiptoed from the room.
(freaking hilarious)
I truly enjoyed this, it just turned my giggle box over! VERY well done! This could really win some contests, my dear... loved it! ;)
Cat
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Hi Steve,
I'm sad, so sad to give this a five, as I had the best time of my life reading this! And isn't that what it's all about?
Wow... this was just chocked full of fun, and sped along with sarcasm, wit, and obvious affection for SWMBO! LOL
Some thoughts along the way and a few ideas for punctuation, etc:
Finally(,) she settled on a series of fly-annihilators fashioned from rolled up newspapers.
Armed with one of these insecticidal truncheons in each hand, she patrolled the premises, swiping wildly at anything that could conceivably have been a fly, while I followed, anxiously trying to protect windows, TV screens, vases, ornaments and great-grandma's heirloom tea-set from the determined and prolonged attack of this avenging angel.
(this is just one example of awesomeness in this ... you've listed some 'things' in the house and added this wonderful example of great grandma's heirloom tea set... awesome! Is it a 'thing' in Australia to hyphenate these things? I notice you hyphenated great grandma, and tea seat... also, later on, (which I mention) tabletop and door frame... which aren't meant to be hyphenated (at least not in this country)... is that a 'thing' there?)
An hour or so later, SWMBO collapsed wearily onto the couch. Evidence of the massacre was smeared on the walls, spattered on the doors and splotched on table-tops and door-frames.
(I don't think that tabletops or door frames are hyphenated, tabletops is one word and door frames is two)
Back home, I hauled the sack of fresh amm(u)nition into the lounge-room.
(again, not sure if this is a difference in spellings, but it's not spelled that way here)
And there, preening himself on her nose was a solitary fly. I swear he winked at me, as I tiptoed from the room.
(freaking hilarious)
I truly enjoyed this, it just turned my giggle box over! VERY well done! This could really win some contests, my dear... loved it! ;)
Cat
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Cat, thanks a lot.
You made me go and look up usage for compound words. According to the site I found, there are no hard and fast rules, although there are some general ones. You are probably right about tabletop, but I get one back with door-frame which they say usually does have a hyphen. I may have just been in a hyphen-sprinkling mood (see, there I go again!) It's certainly not a New Zealand thing. Ammunition was just a typo - my laptop is so old the letters have worn off the keys and O frequently transpise thise partocular ines.
Thanks for the encouragement, but writing prose is hard. My latest poem, on the same subject, took about one tenth of the time to complete.
Steve
Comment from humpwhistle
Ah, not to be a fly on the wall in your household. I can't say as I can argue with SWMBO--not that it would make much difference. By the way I think if should be Swatting Woman, My Beloved One.
As usual, I'm impressed with your glib vocabulary--especially all the military references. Though 'winged armada' seems a little contradictory. But I'm not sure what they call a phalanx of airplanes. A strike force? Squadron?
All very humorous.
But stop writing prose, dammit!
Peace, Lee
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Ah, not to be a fly on the wall in your household. I can't say as I can argue with SWMBO--not that it would make much difference. By the way I think if should be Swatting Woman, My Beloved One.
As usual, I'm impressed with your glib vocabulary--especially all the military references. Though 'winged armada' seems a little contradictory. But I'm not sure what they call a phalanx of airplanes. A strike force? Squadron?
All very humorous.
But stop writing prose, dammit!
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Lee, thanks heaps for the kind words and the six stars. I can quote Tennyson in defence of my use of armadas:
For I dipt into the future, far as human eye could see,
Saw the Vision of the world, and all the wonder that would be;
Saw the heavens fill with commerce, argosies of magic sails,
Pilots of the purple twilight dropping down with costly bales;
Heard the heavens fill with shouting, and there rain'd a ghastly dew
From the nations' airy navies grappling in the central blue;
If he can have argosies in the heavens and 'airy navies', I'm sure I can have a little metaphorical licence for a winged armada! Doubt whether I will ever be up to stealing a contest off you, but occasionally the prose bug bites. One more and I'll even get a ranking!
Steve
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Well, if you favor Tennyson over me, you can have him! The wedding is off!
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I don't even remember being proposed to!
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Well, if you favor Tennyson over me, you can have him! The wedding is off!
Comment from Joy Graham
A most enjoyable story, Steve :) I love the Aussie salute, and calling your wife the terminator of all things buggie. We call them pastures here in Canada, but it's nice to see the optional names used around the world. The ending is too funny of the fly preening himself while your wife snoozed.
One slight issue to mention:
- "I hauled the sack of fresh (amminition)..." - I think I should be spelled, ammunition.
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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A most enjoyable story, Steve :) I love the Aussie salute, and calling your wife the terminator of all things buggie. We call them pastures here in Canada, but it's nice to see the optional names used around the world. The ending is too funny of the fly preening himself while your wife snoozed.
One slight issue to mention:
- "I hauled the sack of fresh (amminition)..." - I think I should be spelled, ammunition.
Comment Written 16-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 17-Mar-2016
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Thanks, Joy, for thee kind words and the sharp eye for a typo.
Steve
