Comment from flylikeaneagle

Exceptional

Treischel: thanks for taking the time to get the rhymes and story right as a witness to the world. I know the story well. Can't believe that the high priest who sees the presence of God in the Holy of Holies once/year spit in the face of Jesus. If the high priest didn't do the order of God correctly when he had to be clean, sacrifice, be holy, etc, he would be a dead high priest. They had bells around the hem and a robe on his waist. I know this was God's plan. Well written with the rhyme scheme. I like your sneering nod. They saw the miracles of Jesus and didn't believe. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 23-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2016

Thank you flylikeaneagle. I am elevated that you connected so well with this.

Comment from Pantygynt

Exceptional

Tom, I really don't know what to say. This is magnificent. That you should use forms that I have created to rewrite the Bible stories is flattering in itself and that this one works so well is tremendously impressive.

How well the form works for the trial and how magnificently have you abbreviated the whole thing to fit into a single cycle of the form. Of course it is the second trial, before Pilate that is the better known, the one that concludes with the famous hand washing.

Dare I ask if there is a Part 2 on the stocks? After this, I have to say that I hope so.

I would also like to congratulate you on the editing of this one. I found no SPAG at all and have just one tentative suggestion to put to you.

"And then, they spat in it, and slapped His blinded face."

On first reading I found this a bit obscure, wondering what "it" was. Might I suggest,

"And then, they spat on hands, and slapped His blinded face."

I particularly liked the way you were able to sum up in the last four lines of hexameter before preparing us for the next episode in the final couplet of pentameter.

I thought you had done a magnificent job when I first read this last night but, as I didn't have the stars then, I thought I would wait until this morning to review. I see no reason to change my mind in the cold light of day.

I am humbled by this and so grateful to you, Tom.

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016

Thank you Pantygynt. I am elated that you liked it so well. Yes, I have part 2 already in my head, just need to put it down on paper. I congratulate you on being adventurous enough to put forward new formats. That always excites me.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

reply by Pantygynt on 21-Feb-2016

Thanks Tom.

Comment from lightink

Excellent

I am so backed up with reviews that I missed Gynt's new form!
I see what you meant about the rhyme scheme.
But the story is worded so well and brings so much sadness to me.
The dialogues made this piece come to live!
You created a really intense atmosphere!

Thank you for sharing and for being always ready to try a new form!

 Comment Written 21-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016

Thank you Jyoti. Glad you liked it. Always excited to try something new.

Comment from djeckert

Good

I like the succinct synopsis of the trial of Jesus. its a good sumnary , (im assuming this is only a small part) also a goid job showing the priests and pharisees refusal to acknowledge theChrist they were supposedly trained to be looking for . nice work

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thank you djeckert

Comment from busses

Excellent

I enjoyed this! I have learned a lot in this short piece. I enjoy all your work and have read at every chance TY for this read and interesting facts in your notes

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Stank you busses. I appreciate your review.

Comment from fafa

Excellent

The poem has a good structure it is of freestyle and it generates certain interest onhaving reread it, greetings for the idea andto present it to our evaluation,congratulations.Also its spiritual content raises it

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thank you Fifa.

Comment from patcelaw

Excellent

This is so well written that I was in awe as I read. Easter to us who know the Lord is a time of hope and anticipation as we are getting that much closer to seeing Him and thanking Him for loving us so. Patricia

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thank you Patricia. It is coming, indeed.

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

Tom,
Am I crazy (okay don't specifically answer THAT part) or did you do another series on the trials a while back? (I realize it could have been someone else, but...

Okay to THIS one:

1.) 'besotted' tripped me up, since my dictionary seems to define it as either "strongly infatuated" or 'drunk" (??)

This is a strong piece otherwise, sharing cruel images and horrific scenes. Great job!

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thank you Robyn, yes, I did his crucifixion a few days ago. I used besotted as in drunk, since some my say, he must have been drunk to say that.

Comment from Sandra du Plessis

Excellent

A very interesting form of poem, and it is a great topic you have chosen in the light of Easter is coming soon. One of the worst deeds humankind did to another.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thank you Sandra. Yes, I agree.

Comment from foxangie123

Excellent

Please keep writing these as they bring awareness to people that lack the information to the most valuable story. Thank you for witnessing and being the outstanding author you are.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016

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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016

Thank you foxangie.

reply by foxangie123 on 21-Feb-2016

Always welcome dear...