Reviews from

Miscellaneous Poems - vol 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The Visitation"
Yet more poems

15 total reviews 
Comment from AnnaLinda
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CD Richards,

Haha...this is a witty poem Mate and I'm glad to know I'm not
the only one who has dreams and visions of animals...

"It's too late to debate, mate,
she's floating in your stew."

Hysterical...You've got great rhyme, humor and an important
message for many...I happen to like beef;) wink..

Linda


 Comment Written 31-Mar-2016


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2016
    That's ok Linda, I'll pray for your soul ;-)

    Thanks for the lovely review, much appreciated!

    Craig :)
reply by AnnaLinda on 31-Mar-2016
    lol
Comment from Lovinia
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Hi Craig

Guilt dreams ... how awful for you. I have to admit that looks like one juicy chunk of meat. You do have me feeling sorry for that poor calf ... I'll try not to think about it too much as I tuck into Thursday night t-bone ... nice and rare. Tomorrow night, I'll try fish, in consideration of said poor little calf.

Sorry, I couldn't eat my dawg!! ... and I would never consider eating a chicken I've personally hand-reared. :))

"It's too late to debate mate" ... I enjoyed your repeat rhyme phrasing which gives your words that extra punch. A wonderful sense of irony and wit here ... well done, I've enjoyed. An interesting social statement, and one to consider deeply ... though while I love my veggies, I couldn't bear to give up that tasty bbq altogether. Nice to see a post from you. Hugs - Lovi xoxo

 Comment Written 25-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 26-Feb-2016
    Thanks, Lovinia. I'll pray for you - oh wait, that won't do any good either ;-)

    I have some lovely, huge, juicy zucchinis going to waste - we can't eat them as fast as we're producing them. I could send you some...

    Thanks for the kind words :)

    Craig.

reply by Lovinia on 26-Feb-2016
    Hi Craig

    Thanks for the prayers ... I do sin disgracefully. Zucchini ... YEAH!! One of my faves. I had a great grated zucchini salad last week with loads of veggies cooked on the barbie over wood coals, not gas! ... so I can be pure and saintly!!

    Now you mention it, I should be growing my own. My tomatoes have done well this year ... nothing like home grown. Oranges coming on nicely, and lemons ... not a lot of success with the mandarin tree, though the juice is great for mandarin cake. Herbs are doing well ... no luck with the strawberries. Thanks for your poem, I enjoyed ... and the sage advice. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment from bard owl
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Oh, the cruelty of your words. Poor calf - so misread. Your poem certainly makes me stop and think about that steak I so enjoy. A minister once told me that everything we eat is a sacrifice - plant or animal must give their life so we may keep ours. Anyway, your poem has smooth rhythm and rhyme and flow, making it an easy read.


 Comment Written 21-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 21-Feb-2016
    Technically, the minister is mistaken. There's no biological need for humans to eat meat. Thanks, Linda, for taking the time to check out my poem - your thoughtful review is much appreciated.
    Craig.

Comment from Joy Graham
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I love your recurring line ending with mate :) Sounds so down under.I try not to think about who I'm eating or I'd likely starve to death. Though, I'm quite certain it'd take quite a while to starve to death because I have weight to keep me warm for a few winters lol!

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    LOL Joy!

    I can swear you wouldn't starve to death. Those people who tell you you'll get really thin on a meat-free diet - don't believe them! I wish...

    Thanks for the fun review,
    Craig
Comment from LIJ Red
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Thou shalt not seethe a calf in his mother's milk, remember. I like the Bible lines about the rem(wild ox, mistakenly labeled a unicorn by King James' crew) now extinct, thank goodness. Fierce brute. You got me craving a rib-eye... I like the jaunty rhymes and rhythm here...

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Unicorns are extinct, or rem? You must mean rem, I saw a unicorn last week!

    If I got you craving a rib-eye, I failed miserably...

    Thanks for the kind review, LIJ_Red, much appreciated :)

    Craig

Comment from jmdg1954
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Good sense of humor here. I did get a little saddened thinking about eating meat. I'm not sure if I'm over it yet.
Hah! Eat dog? No f'n way, mate. I love my dog more then most people.

Nicely done. John

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Thanks, John. I'd have to agree with you on rating the dog above people. Then again, I'd rate cows above people too in most cases. Much appreciated. Craig
Comment from Dean Kuch
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I'm just a bit irate, mate,
I hope you've been well fed.
My mother's on your plate, mate,
why not eat dog instead?
--------Oh, huh-uh, no way! Eat...eat... dog?! Perish the thought, mate (LOL).
In all seriousness, cobber, I'd eat a person before I would a dog. I'm sure dogs taste okay, but I like most dogs much better than I do most people I know.

Great entry for the contest, it's very...repet...repet...re...PET...a...tive, but I liked that about this one.

Good work! photo black cat skully_zpslsjwu6gw.jpg

~Dean

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Thanks, Dean, for the fun review. The reason you won't eat dogs is exactly the reason I won't eat cows ;-)

    And what do you mean it's repetitive it's repetitive?

    I didn't enter this one in a contest - confusing, I know, because there are any number of animal themed ones up there at the moment.

    Much appreciated,
    Craig
reply by Dean Kuch on 20-Feb-2016
    You cite the word, "mate", at the very least eight times in the poem, Craig. That's all I meant concerning the repetition. Not intended as a criticism or anything, just making an observation is all.
    I probably did think you'd entered it in a contest for the reasons you've stated.

    Anyhow, great work with this one!
     photo signature_zpsyq47eis3.jpg
reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Hi Dean...

    I didn't take your comment as criticism... hence my little joke in repeating the words in my response.

    Cheers, Craig.
reply by Dean Kuch on 20-Feb-2016
    Good, Craig. I'd hoped you didn't.
     photo signature_zpsyq47eis3.jpg
Comment from ~Dovey
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Hi Craig!
I'm surprised you didn't enter this in the 'Cruelty to Animals' contest ;) You fibbed in the last stanza, I'm afraid if you don't quit fibbing, you just might go to Hell. Of course, your rhyme scheme and meter are flawless. Stressing 'mate' at the end of alternating lines emphasized your point, well. (Gave it that Aussie flavour) Have a great day!

*hugs*

Kim

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Thanks, Kim, for the lovely review. I should have put it in the contest, then a few more people might have twigged that it was meant to be ironic ;-) Much appreciated! Craig.
reply by ~Dovey on 20-Feb-2016
    or even the Carnivore contest...
Comment from --Turtle.
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Hi, Craig,

So nice to see you posting, I do enjoy the sharp cut of your humor/ especially as I can see the double layers you do so well. Beneath the surface, the stirring uncomfortable stabs softened with wit. There's compassion laced with frustration surrounding the topic, and an edge of indignation, daring others to think, without completely alienating a reader, and thus avoiding closing their mind (with that auto defense response) before the seed of reflection is planted. This poem brings me to recall the write on aliens eating children parallel, from a cow's perspective, you did.

Let's set the record straight, mate,
she did nothing to {hurt} you. (seven syllables? I wondered because all the others seemed to follow a 7/6/7/6 pattern, intentional or not, so I pondered:)
she did naught to hurt you
she'd done nothing to you
(eek, I'm not a poet, but I'll pull forward that I initially tripped over that extra syllable and paused on the need for that 'hurt')

You're just another primate, mate;
(You know, I actually like the extra syllable in this line, because, for me, it added a forced pause that emphasized that last 'mate', gave it a stressing I found appropriate. I could almost see/ hear that last 'mate' in italics, because it combines a term of friendship with a ... not quiet insult, but a recognition of deflating perceived status, pointing out common ground)

Really great job with the inline ate-ate rhymes, too. The repetition with the balance of the inner line rhyme was an effective echo, that set a beat, resonance of: friend, not food. through the poem.

tomorrow we'll have veal.
(there in lies the spin, twist, with that last line, a clever mocking; a great way to highlight the complacent, lack of true compassion to the plight of the cow even after the entire poem (and I hope I'm using the right word here) humanizes the voice of the cow, even allowing the, aww... poor cow, sentiment in the line before... and then dehumanizing the cow back into food, the top layer contradiction contains that edge of humor that lingers with an unsettling reality. Anyone contemplating beyond the amusement of 'and then I ate the cow' is left to evaluate the sincerity around just feeling bad for the plight of the animals slaughtered for food)

--Turtle.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Hi Turtle!

    It's worth popping back in just to get one of your reviews - you always offer such great insights, and even better, you "get" stuff. I'm amazed at how many people don't get irony.

    I totally understand the syllable count thing you raise, but it's weird - the line as I've written it sounds correct to me, whereas the alternatives you offer trip me up. I'm not saying you're wrong - it must be something in the way I say the words. I probably should stick to the count.

    And yes, the syllable count is wrong in the "primate" line as well, but I decided to keep it - in my head it forces the last "mate" to take on an emphasis - a sarcastic tone. That's not to say anyone else is going to read it that way. Maybe we need spoken accompaniment!

    Great to hear from you, thanks for taking the time to review :)

    Craig

    P.S. I'm tickled pink you remembered the alien poem (yes, that's a good thing!)
reply by --Turtle. on 20-Feb-2016
    : )

    I rarely actually mind when people don't change things, especially in poetry, but I still have this compulsion to point at things.

    I totally agreed with you on that extra syllable in the primate line for the exact same reason. (didn't suggest changing that one) I even described that mate as heard 'in itallics' because of that extra syllable emphasis, so we are on the same page there... that's how I read that line, with the emphasis on mate.

Comment from KarlSlevin
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Clever, nice little piece of rhyming verse, also very funny also. I enjoyed that and not a vegetarian in sight.
My only suggestion would be:

It's not all down to fate, mate,
we don't exist for man.
Let cruelty ( please ) abate, mate,
If you try real hard, you can.
Just a thought.
Have a great day.
Karl.

 Comment Written 20-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 20-Feb-2016
    Thank you for the kind review. I get your point about adding "please". I think it depends how you pronounce "cruelty" - some people would say it as two syllables, others three. Your comments are much appreciated - Craig.