Just Another Day
ABC Poetry - No set meter15 total reviews
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
I enjoyed your abc poem. Great job taking it through the whole abc's. Your words flow well and tell and great story. Congratulations on your win. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
  |
I enjoyed your abc poem. Great job taking it through the whole abc's. Your words flow well and tell and great story. Congratulations on your win. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 27-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 29-Feb-2016
-
Thanks so much and thanks so much for letting me know it had placed. LOL
Comment from l.raven
HI Jo Lynn, LOL...you are too funny...you started over again...LOL...but I love your poem sweet girl...I have fallen behind again...but I do catch up...just didn't feel to good...it will be ok...I love your just another day...and I love your picture...very well written...love ya You...Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2016
|
HI Jo Lynn, LOL...you are too funny...you started over again...LOL...but I love your poem sweet girl...I have fallen behind again...but I do catch up...just didn't feel to good...it will be ok...I love your just another day...and I love your picture...very well written...love ya You...Linda xxoo
Comment Written 18-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 19-Feb-2016
-
yeah got a bit carried away. Hope you are feeling better. Miss ya and love ya. Jo Lynn
-
yes I am...thank you...that's ok...you get carried away anytime you want...you do it well...and I love it...miss you too...thank you sweet girl...love ya too...Linda xxoo
Comment from ciliverde
Lol, maybe a bit carried away - just kidding, I enjoyed your "stream of consciousness poem. It would be interesting if we all sat down to do this - just WRITE what comes to mind, using each letter of the alphabet, and beyond if you need to. I might try it!
This section is my favorite:
Quiet, hear that sound
Rustling in the leaves?
Something must be on the ground
Taunting me. I must retreat.
Upward. Maybe I should jump,
View from in the trees.
What's that you say?
Xenophobia?
You've got to be kidding me!
Lol - good stuff there :)
Carol
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
|
Lol, maybe a bit carried away - just kidding, I enjoyed your "stream of consciousness poem. It would be interesting if we all sat down to do this - just WRITE what comes to mind, using each letter of the alphabet, and beyond if you need to. I might try it!
This section is my favorite:
Quiet, hear that sound
Rustling in the leaves?
Something must be on the ground
Taunting me. I must retreat.
Upward. Maybe I should jump,
View from in the trees.
What's that you say?
Xenophobia?
You've got to be kidding me!
Lol - good stuff there :)
Carol
Comment Written 16-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 17-Feb-2016
-
I had a friend who use to tell me to just sit down and write whatever comes to you mind in 10 minutes and then post it. LOL I was never good at that a 10 minute write would take me an hour. LOL Thanks for the great review.
Comment from danpald
In the loneliness of life
The poem touches fine
All the desires to hold
Even when evil pleads
So the poem does flow
With a romantic toe
To be kissed with tender care
While fear of others remain
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016
|
In the loneliness of life
The poem touches fine
All the desires to hold
Even when evil pleads
So the poem does flow
With a romantic toe
To be kissed with tender care
While fear of others remain
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016
-
Oh thanks so much for the great review. that's wonderful
Comment from rama devi
Impressive crafting within the limitations of the ABC form and with rhymes to boot. The flow is excellent with fine fluid enjambment, and the meaning is uplifting and clearly conveyed. I love the way the rhymes overlap in stanzas. Excellent smattering of alliteration and other poetic devices. Seamless incorporation of the alphabet in order without it sounding forced.
Some outstanding fresh rhymes made me smile, like loose and seduced! I like the alliterated slant rhymes too, like quit and quick.
Fine phonetics in phrasing in all stanzas. This it my favorite read aloud:
Include me on the road that's safe,
Just make the journey quick.
* suggest replacing WHICH with THAT or adding a comma preceding it:
Path which hurries them to hell.
I like how the poem continues a new alphabet in the closing stanza. Great closing line in conversational tone:
Darn, all this for nothing.
Good job!
Love,
rd
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016
|
Impressive crafting within the limitations of the ABC form and with rhymes to boot. The flow is excellent with fine fluid enjambment, and the meaning is uplifting and clearly conveyed. I love the way the rhymes overlap in stanzas. Excellent smattering of alliteration and other poetic devices. Seamless incorporation of the alphabet in order without it sounding forced.
Some outstanding fresh rhymes made me smile, like loose and seduced! I like the alliterated slant rhymes too, like quit and quick.
Fine phonetics in phrasing in all stanzas. This it my favorite read aloud:
Include me on the road that's safe,
Just make the journey quick.
* suggest replacing WHICH with THAT or adding a comma preceding it:
Path which hurries them to hell.
I like how the poem continues a new alphabet in the closing stanza. Great closing line in conversational tone:
Darn, all this for nothing.
Good job!
Love,
rd
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016
-
Oh thank you so much, I did change that. I do so appreciate your outstanding reviews. You are the best, and the site agrees Big HUG
-
Aw, shucks! Thanks, love. You're a gem. Huge hugs, rd
Comment from Joy Graham
I see what you mean by getting carried away, I think. You used the whole alphabet and started over again. It reads smoothly and doesn't feel like an alphabet inspired poem. Great job! Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016
|
I see what you mean by getting carried away, I think. You used the whole alphabet and started over again. It reads smoothly and doesn't feel like an alphabet inspired poem. Great job! Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 16-Feb-2016
-
Yeah I guess I got on a roll and didn't know how to stop it. I've looked at going back to cut it somewhere but it just seems complete as is so it gets to stay as is. Thanks for the great review.
Comment from royowen
I think the 5th line is normally an "odd" letter e.g. abccz, I think! Well done otherwise one could call this new form something else. But a brilliant interpretation, of this poetic form, Ove the theme, most imaginative and inspired, you've done so well, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo decent: descent?
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
|
I think the 5th line is normally an "odd" letter e.g. abccz, I think! Well done otherwise one could call this new form something else. But a brilliant interpretation, of this poetic form, Ove the theme, most imaginative and inspired, you've done so well, well done, good luck, blessings, Roy
Typo decent: descent?
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
-
Actually that 5th line can be either, there is really no restrictions on that. I would qualify this for the contest just because they aren't that specific but they might toss it out, it was fun to write and I do appreciate the great review.
-
I'm glad that's the case, good luck
Comment from Ulla
This is a lovely poem that I really enjoyed to read. I really don't know a lot about poetry if anything, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy reading it as I did yours. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
|
This is a lovely poem that I really enjoyed to read. I really don't know a lot about poetry if anything, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy reading it as I did yours. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
-
Thanks so much for your kind review, much appreciated.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
I was so taken up with the read I hadn't noticed till the second look that you went right through and started again. Well done, I loved the path you chose to go with this, and then a fun ending. Great read, and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
|
I was so taken up with the read I hadn't noticed till the second look that you went right through and started again. Well done, I loved the path you chose to go with this, and then a fun ending. Great read, and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
-
Yeah I was having a fun time with it. Thanks for the kind review.
Comment from TallySally
This is a great entry, and didn't you do it the hard way? Couldn't the last lines of each verse start with any letter? Anyway, what an amazing piece. Some of the rhyming and rhythm was melodic. Some phrasing intriguing. Did wonder if decent should be descent?
Anyway the story was funny and entertaining.
God bless and my best,
Relda
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
|
This is a great entry, and didn't you do it the hard way? Couldn't the last lines of each verse start with any letter? Anyway, what an amazing piece. Some of the rhyming and rhythm was melodic. Some phrasing intriguing. Did wonder if decent should be descent?
Anyway the story was funny and entertaining.
God bless and my best,
Relda
Comment Written 15-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
-
Oh thanks so much for that catch, you are right it was suppose to be descent, I didn't even catch that. thanks so much. I wasn't really intending on doing it that way. Sometimes this muse of mine just has a mind of her own and that's what she wanted to do.
-
You are so welcome. And you should always listen to your muse!
