Whose Seduction?
free verse25 total reviews
Comment from Neonewman
Oh hell! I love the ending here Mikey. Your suicidal fly! Brilliant! Masterfully crafted piece young man, let me know if anyone gives a low rating. I am ready to pound like the spider.
God bless!
steve
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016
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Oh hell! I love the ending here Mikey. Your suicidal fly! Brilliant! Masterfully crafted piece young man, let me know if anyone gives a low rating. I am ready to pound like the spider.
God bless!
steve
Comment Written 26-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 27-Jan-2016
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Cool, I'll let you know. Personally I'd be a spree killer. But sadly I'm too lazy. Oh well, I can dream. Glad you liked the ending. I thought it was pretty clever. Those were the words that came first. I kept repeating them all the way home for like thirty minutes. "suicidal fly" ... Ha! The life of an ar-teest. mikey
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Yup! If you don't repeat you lose it, or in my case distort it lol. Spree killer, too lazy. Funny thoughts lol!
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Yup! If you don't repeat you lose it, or in my case distort it lol. Spree killer, too lazy. Funny thoughts lol!
Comment from Rubylou
Uh Oh, once you touch the web there is no chance of escape. I wonder if the fly contemplated the finality of its action.
The spider surely used charm in alluring its prey yet the fly, being suicidal, seems unconcerned.
How many times do we fall into traps in our own lives? Fortunately, the outcome isn't as grave (no pun intended) LOL as the one the fly faced.
Although, I have to wonder if the fly had an agenda ...
Rubylou
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Uh Oh, once you touch the web there is no chance of escape. I wonder if the fly contemplated the finality of its action.
The spider surely used charm in alluring its prey yet the fly, being suicidal, seems unconcerned.
How many times do we fall into traps in our own lives? Fortunately, the outcome isn't as grave (no pun intended) LOL as the one the fly faced.
Although, I have to wonder if the fly had an agenda ...
Rubylou
Comment Written 25-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
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Love your takes on this, Rubylou. Exactly what I was hoping for! Thanks a million, mikey
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, that's right...you guys weave a web of lies to get what you want...LOL...and blame us innocent women we things don't...LOL...kidding...maybe...love your poem you...very well done...luff ya Linda xxoo
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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HI Michael, that's right...you guys weave a web of lies to get what you want...LOL...and blame us innocent women we things don't...LOL...kidding...maybe...love your poem you...very well done...luff ya Linda xxoo
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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HI! Yeah, well, you guys are all pretty and stuff and we don't know what to do so we can't help ourselves so it's like not really our fault.... LOL!
Thank you kindly, my dear. Some of us write pretty words to make you think we're smart. :)) mikey
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you are smart you....LOL... and a great guy...you are so welcome...xxoo luff
Comment from Gloria ....
Whoa, this is really good, Mikey. I am so impressed at how much your poetry and prose have grown since I've known you. I remember reading your very first poem that you had written as a child and being duly impressed but this is taking your skill to a whole new level.
What a twist at the end. So the little fly is in reality a suicide pill, course that can allude to many things all of which we will leave in your rich imagination.
Beautiful presentation and all around top notch poem from one of FanStory's very best. :))
Love it!
Gloria
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Whoa, this is really good, Mikey. I am so impressed at how much your poetry and prose have grown since I've known you. I remember reading your very first poem that you had written as a child and being duly impressed but this is taking your skill to a whole new level.
What a twist at the end. So the little fly is in reality a suicide pill, course that can allude to many things all of which we will leave in your rich imagination.
Beautiful presentation and all around top notch poem from one of FanStory's very best. :))
Love it!
Gloria
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Aww. You're too sweet. If you wouldn't write so much damn good stuff I wouldn't have to tax my poor little brain to come up with things! But then, that's the way it's supposed to work, yes? I'm delighted you liked this. Now, I'm gonna toss my hair back and strut up and down Rodin Ave braggin', "I'm the best damn poet on the block!" Thank you so much. Much love, mikey
Comment from seaglass
Great rhyming couplets here and I love the twist at the end, making the reader think the spider is the seducer in this metaphor of love and than revealing that she is being seduced by the tricky fly. Either way, he loses...lol
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Great rhyming couplets here and I love the twist at the end, making the reader think the spider is the seducer in this metaphor of love and than revealing that she is being seduced by the tricky fly. Either way, he loses...lol
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Hi. Great to hear from you. So pleased you liked my little twist. :))
I'll try and stop by. Loving your new book though I haven't been able to follow in the detail I'd like. Can't wait to lay down some cash and own it!! mikey
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It wont go to the publisher before summer at the rate I'm writing. You may win the lottery by then
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Hmmm. You'll have a rich friend who LOVES your writing. Sounds good, yes? :))
Comment from mountainwriter49
Good Sunday Afternoon, Michael,
You've penned a good read for me to enjoy this afternoon. The metaphor of the spider's web and fly is a good one to use for some couples' relationship. You've executed it well. The closing two lines are perfect and bring the poem full circle.
The occasional use of end-line rhyme adds a spice to the free verse, thus enhancing its appeal and readability.
Well done.
Ray
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Good Sunday Afternoon, Michael,
You've penned a good read for me to enjoy this afternoon. The metaphor of the spider's web and fly is a good one to use for some couples' relationship. You've executed it well. The closing two lines are perfect and bring the poem full circle.
The occasional use of end-line rhyme adds a spice to the free verse, thus enhancing its appeal and readability.
Well done.
Ray
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Hi, Ray. Good to hear from you. Pleased you enjoyed. I'm grateful I took the time to learn the more structured forms here. The affect on my free verse is apparent even to me. Yep, the rhymes and other things I've learned just pop in naturally now. I appreciate you noticing. I certainly see a big difference between now and my early offerings. Thanks so much. Always encouraging. :)) mikey
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Michael. Thank you for your kind reply. Those who are serious about improving can utilize FS as a vehicle to grow and develop. I certainly did and am grateful for the opportunity. I'm glad you're growing in your poetry. I continue to grow and am thinking of some of these new forms I need to try.
R
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You're on the money there, Ray. I recall Ravenblack telling me to learn Haiku. Didn't make sense to me at the time. But when a great writer gives you advice it's wise to listen. Well, I'm as wordy as anyone on the planet. Yep, it helped a bunch. :)) Try nonets, pretty difficult to get a flow and make sense at the same time. Thanks again. mikey
Comment from Linda Engel
Cool beans. It is a turn of the tale. I bet the "fly" has poison and as soon as the "spider" eats you she will die. Clever, clever man. This is a good one Micky very creative indeed.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Cool beans. It is a turn of the tale. I bet the "fly" has poison and as soon as the "spider" eats you she will die. Clever, clever man. This is a good one Micky very creative indeed.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Hi, Linda. No doubt, there is poison of one kind or another involved. :))
Thanks so much. I'm pleased you enjoyed. mikey
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You're so cute!!!!!!
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
This is a fantastic poem! This makes me think of the male equivalent of a black widow. I really love the last lines. So powerful!
c'mon now, helpless spider
I'm your suicidal fly ...
**Great wording!
I wrote a poem entitled Black Widow and I totally get your saying. If you get bored you should check it out.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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This is a fantastic poem! This makes me think of the male equivalent of a black widow. I really love the last lines. So powerful!
c'mon now, helpless spider
I'm your suicidal fly ...
**Great wording!
I wrote a poem entitled Black Widow and I totally get your saying. If you get bored you should check it out.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Wow. What a great review. I'll try and find your piece and others too. Maybe I can make some time today. I don't have to be bored to read your great work. HA!!! Thanks a million. mikey
Comment from LIJ Red
I was thinking, poor guy, when will he ever learn, until I came to the last two lines. The neat sight is a muddauber wasp bumbling along and into the spider's web. The spider pounces. The dobber stings her and hauls her away paralyzed to be eaten alive by her larvae when they hatch. Ma nature
is so sweet...excellent poem, by the way.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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I was thinking, poor guy, when will he ever learn, until I came to the last two lines. The neat sight is a muddauber wasp bumbling along and into the spider's web. The spider pounces. The dobber stings her and hauls her away paralyzed to be eaten alive by her larvae when they hatch. Ma nature
is so sweet...excellent poem, by the way.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Ah. Great facts to learn. Loving the muddauber wasp, a real sweetheart. Always entertaining. Pleased you enjoyed. Much thanks. mikey
Comment from judiverse
Intriguing subject. We've heard so many black widow stories. Is it time the fly got revenge? The fly has been very cunning, Oh, so reminiscent of the way guys often play it--lying, controlling. I love the irony of the lines "Yeah, darling, I'm a swell guy. You can see it in my eyes." Great rhyme in this. A rather cynical look at how men and women play games, and try to control the other. Great work. judi
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Intriguing subject. We've heard so many black widow stories. Is it time the fly got revenge? The fly has been very cunning, Oh, so reminiscent of the way guys often play it--lying, controlling. I love the irony of the lines "Yeah, darling, I'm a swell guy. You can see it in my eyes." Great rhyme in this. A rather cynical look at how men and women play games, and try to control the other. Great work. judi
Comment Written 24-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2016
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Yep. I hate to speak against my own kind, but the poetry comes first, yes? Ha!! Pleased you enjoyed. Thanks so much. mikey
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Hi, Mikey, and you're welcome. Stay away from spiders seeking revenge. judi
