Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 361 "The Power of Song"Small and Specialty Poems
19 total reviews
Comment from SimianSavant
This is an accomplishment, and must have been quite a mental exercise to write. People regularly do this sort of thing with MUSIC, but doing it with text is on another level. I agree with the other readers that the two work best as complementary pieces, but they do function independently -- just as in real life. You might try turning it into an actual song, which would be challenging and benefit from adjustments appropriate to the new medium.
The dual pane visual formatting is almost as fiendishly difficult to control on this site as your writing form. The text wrapped on my phone, where I usually access this site, and I had to pull out a laptop to read it properly. I usually write my poems in plaintext with manually controlled HTML to prevent wrapping, though I haven't yet tried that with a split pane like this before (which would be your ideal solution). You could even use Javascript to toggle which one shows up. Or, you could use get this perfect in a word processor, take a screenshot, post the screenshot on an image sharing site and link the image. But that comes with other issues (like lack of scalability and searchability). Oh well. If you ARE interested in the ideal HTML approach and are used to writing in the plaintext editor, let me know and I can mess around and see if I can come up with a working demo of it -- probably after the 19th. I don't use a lot of JS though, as I don't want it to get blocked on the site.
Congratulations and thanks for demonstrating this intense juxtaposition of forms,
Harambe (for President)
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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This is an accomplishment, and must have been quite a mental exercise to write. People regularly do this sort of thing with MUSIC, but doing it with text is on another level. I agree with the other readers that the two work best as complementary pieces, but they do function independently -- just as in real life. You might try turning it into an actual song, which would be challenging and benefit from adjustments appropriate to the new medium.
The dual pane visual formatting is almost as fiendishly difficult to control on this site as your writing form. The text wrapped on my phone, where I usually access this site, and I had to pull out a laptop to read it properly. I usually write my poems in plaintext with manually controlled HTML to prevent wrapping, though I haven't yet tried that with a split pane like this before (which would be your ideal solution). You could even use Javascript to toggle which one shows up. Or, you could use get this perfect in a word processor, take a screenshot, post the screenshot on an image sharing site and link the image. But that comes with other issues (like lack of scalability and searchability). Oh well. If you ARE interested in the ideal HTML approach and are used to writing in the plaintext editor, let me know and I can mess around and see if I can come up with a working demo of it -- probably after the 19th. I don't use a lot of JS though, as I don't want it to get blocked on the site.
Congratulations and thanks for demonstrating this intense juxtaposition of forms,
Harambe (for President)
Comment Written 09-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 09-Feb-2024
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Thank you Harambe, Outstanding comments. Never tried JS. You?re getting too complex for me. I did use screen shots to achieve my caligrams so maybe it would be helpful to learn the HTML.
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There are some great easy-to-follow tutorials at w3schools.com. The thing to remember if you use it here is that every time you save your writing piece, you need to toggle back to the basic editor before making any edits or saving, or it will re-render it using 15+ year old web technology and ruin all of your code. (The "advanced" editor might have since been upgraded to be more up to date but every time I re-save it, it introduces double spaces in every line. I've told the admin about this here but it didn't get changed; oh well. I've just gotten used to visually laying out all my stuff manually).
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I go to the format button after highlighting the text, scroll down and select ?formatted?. Then it lets me take out the double spaces. But I did need to use the advanced editor for that poem.
Comment from Lisasview
Good for you for putting this back on for all of us to read...How does one do that? I have no idea...but I think that would be great.
I enjoyed the read... and of course the "Elvis" photo... really great!!!
Lisas
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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Good for you for putting this back on for all of us to read...How does one do that? I have no idea...but I think that would be great.
I enjoyed the read... and of course the "Elvis" photo... really great!!!
Lisas
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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Thank you Lisa. The poem has to have been posted two or more years ago. Then you just call it up and hit the "promote it" button. Glad you liked it.
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You are so welcome,
Lisa
Comment from royowen
I must admit, I've never seen a poem written in this form, although I've tackled most mainline modern and older forms, I've never done like this, I wrote a number of rhyming acrostics years ago, but not like this Tom, well done mate, great job, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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I must admit, I've never seen a poem written in this form, although I've tackled most mainline modern and older forms, I've never done like this, I wrote a number of rhyming acrostics years ago, but not like this Tom, well done mate, great job, blessings Roy
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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Thank you Roy. I think I might have overdone it. Not easy to accomplish. But was fun to figure it all out. I appreciate your reviews.
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Well done
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
A clever post and I enjoyed the sentiments here. Unfortunately the unique metre is rather lost in these acrostics but I enjoyed the story and these are clever poems, love Dolly x x x
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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A clever post and I enjoyed the sentiments here. Unfortunately the unique metre is rather lost in these acrostics but I enjoyed the story and these are clever poems, love Dolly x x x
Comment Written 07-Feb-2024
reply by the author on 07-Feb-2024
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Thank you Dolly. For taking the time to read and comment.
Comment from Joan E.
Oh, my--you've outdone yourself by combining these forms and rhyme, no less. Thanks for indicating that your photograph is of a candle--I missed the wick at first glance. I admired your "if, then" construction and how well the poems read straight across. I also especially liked the "swan" and "pigeon" similes. I can't imagine how long this piece took to create--you have great patience. Big cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
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Oh, my--you've outdone yourself by combining these forms and rhyme, no less. Thanks for indicating that your photograph is of a candle--I missed the wick at first glance. I admired your "if, then" construction and how well the poems read straight across. I also especially liked the "swan" and "pigeon" similes. I can't imagine how long this piece took to create--you have great patience. Big cheers- Joan
Comment Written 23-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 23-Jan-2016
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Thank you Joan, for the wonderful review as well as those stars. As you guessed, this took ten times what I'd normally take to write a poem. I am all cleaved out.
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Maybe you'll have your strength back by Valentine's Day or by Easter at least! Thanks for sharing the tour de force- Joan
Comment from c_lucas
Make sure you know all the words to the song. Make sure your guitar is tuned. Don't try for the high notes. This is a poem structure that only the highly talented should try. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Make sure you know all the words to the song. Make sure your guitar is tuned. Don't try for the high notes. This is a poem structure that only the highly talented should try. Well done.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Thank you c_lucas for a sound review and very good advice. Lol.
Comment from Domino 2
Hi, Tom.
I'm not sure what 'mixed tetrameter' is (your notes), but with respect, a poem is either usually written in strict tetrameter (8888 syllable lines in quatrains), or maybe in a regular structure of say alternating lines of tetrameter/trimeter in 8686 syllable quatrains, for example.
Any form of iambic meter lines start with an un-emphasised syllable, then an emphasised and so on (da-DUM-da-DUM etc), and with respect I found most of your lines didn't follow this pattern and therefore didn't offer a smooth read - for me, at least. ;-)
I very much respect the time and skill put into writing such a complicated form as this, and the content is excellent.
Best wishes, Ray
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Hi, Tom.
I'm not sure what 'mixed tetrameter' is (your notes), but with respect, a poem is either usually written in strict tetrameter (8888 syllable lines in quatrains), or maybe in a regular structure of say alternating lines of tetrameter/trimeter in 8686 syllable quatrains, for example.
Any form of iambic meter lines start with an un-emphasised syllable, then an emphasised and so on (da-DUM-da-DUM etc), and with respect I found most of your lines didn't follow this pattern and therefore didn't offer a smooth read - for me, at least. ;-)
I very much respect the time and skill put into writing such a complicated form as this, and the content is excellent.
Best wishes, Ray
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Thank you Ray, by mixed meter, I was speaking to the meter, as I couldn't hold the iambic in many instances. So some limes are iambic, some trochee, and some anapestic. Nevertheless less I tied to hold a reasonable flow. While I did hold the 8 syllable tetrameter., I never claimed it to be iambic. Therefore - mixed. Sorry it didn't quite work for you. I appreciate your comments and a good 5 star rating.
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Thanks for your gracious reply, Tom.
Your notes specifically state, 'mixed tetameter' (by which I assume you mean, 'tetrameter') and as far as I know, tetrameter can only be written in iambs. The syllable count is just that - a number of syllables perhaps without ANY meter.
Tetrameter (an alternating syllable emphasis beat of 'da-DUM-da-DUM' etc) ONLY applies to iambic meter, and not to the other anapaestic (da-DUM-da-da-DUM) and trochaic (DUM-da-DUM-da) meters you mention in this reply, so that's what caused my confusion.
However, I don't prophess to be an expert, and sure don't want to come over as a pompous know it all, but these are just facts I've picked up on site over the years.
Anyway, a mountainous task to take on here and a mission well accomplished, Sir.
Cheers, Ray
Comment from misscookie
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
The artwork is awesome it goes well with your poem
I could feel the mixed emotions express within the lines
. Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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You captured my attention from the first line to the last
The artwork is awesome it goes well with your poem
I could feel the mixed emotions express within the lines
. Thank you for sharing.
Cookie
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Thank you Misscookie.
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It was my pleasure, have a blessed week end.
Cookie
Comment from TAB_that's me
They are all very good. I like it best when read as a whole from left to right. A very difficult style(s) that you did very well with.
teresa
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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They are all very good. I like it best when read as a whole from left to right. A very difficult style(s) that you did very well with.
teresa
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Thank you Teresa. This one wore me out. Whew.
Comment from Pantygynt
I can't award more than 5 stars simply because I don't have them. I think this makes a lot better sense in its combined form than my effort did. These things can be fiendishly difficult to do. I once sense the if/then form gave you an easier time than my two legends with diametrically opposed endings but you cheated just a little on the acrostic in the rondeau.
Very well done indeed, Tom. I am going to call time on cleaves at least for the time being or until a double situation sets me off again.
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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I can't award more than 5 stars simply because I don't have them. I think this makes a lot better sense in its combined form than my effort did. These things can be fiendishly difficult to do. I once sense the if/then form gave you an easier time than my two legends with diametrically opposed endings but you cheated just a little on the acrostic in the rondeau.
Very well done indeed, Tom. I am going to call time on cleaves at least for the time being or until a double situation sets me off again.
Comment Written 22-Jan-2016
reply by the author on 22-Jan-2016
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Thank you Pantygynt. I cheated in several places, but necessary to achieve the results. The Petrarchan should really be in Pentameter. I lost the iambic in several places. Then cheated on the N in that second refrain and left the last refrain completely out of the Acrostic. Although the it took me two full days to write this one, I enjoyed the challenge. The if/then really made it work for me, as I started with that premise. Like you, I think I'm completely cleaved out.
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Should that be cloven out? Aw shit! Who cares?
