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Little Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 362 "English Rebellion (ER)"
Small and Specialty Poems

12 total reviews 
Comment from NicciFaye
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Treischel - First thank you always providing excellent research and notes with your writings. They are always worth the read and the excellence you apply to your writings. These poem formats to me always seem the most challenging. Maybe one day I will try it. I've never heard of this women until now. Each side reads as it's own and together it is powerful.

 Comment Written 18-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 18-Jan-2016
    Thank you Nicci. I am glad you you appreciate the notes. And yes, this is very difficult to both write and then again to post.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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This has to be the most amazing history lesson I've had, and I'm English! I love the way you have written this, Tom, it must have taken you ages! A definite 6, so it will have to be a virtual. I was born in Suffolk so it was interesting reading about that. I must go back into my history books and read up on some to these events. We have quite a colourful past. I love the story of Boadicea, she was a mighty warrior in her time. You deserve a medal for this, my friend! Excellent read. xsx Sandra

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2016
    Thank you Sandra. She is a fascinating women. I found several sites with information about her. But I didn't have enough room to tell it all.
Comment from Pantygynt
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Ah! Not content with the lyricat form you further complicate matters with a couple of senryu. I thought it a pity though that you didn't use all five syllables available to you in the first line of your yellow senryu to keep it in line with the five syllables predominating in the lyricat form. A verb such as were or are would have done it. Sorry to be such a purist.

This is a remarkable effort even if I have to say that it typical of an American to write yet another chapter of British history where the British are ultimately defeated.

Several reviews when reviewing my cleaves have commented that they liked one poem better than the others, I found myself thinking that the best part of this was the way in which the two halves came together to produce something more than the sum of its parts. Which is another way of saying I preferred the double to either of the two singles.

At times both singles tended to suffer from the staccato effect of the five syllable form because it is really hard to achieve the enjambement in to directions at once.

I wondered if your technique was to write the double first then cut it into two whereas I started with the two singles and kind of glued them together. I wish I had a six for this tremendous effort but alas they are all gone.

I shall have another surprise for you on Monday when the next Picture This challenge hits the postings.

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2016
    Thank you Pantygynt. I wrote each separately, then tried to mesh them. Not an easy task. I do agree that the 5 syllable lines lent a staccato effect that I wasn't entirely happy with. I guess I was so bleary eyed that I skipped the syllable in the yellow Senryu, as you so astutely point out. I checked my draft, and sure enough, the word I missed was "were". As to the American proposition, we just like to shake this up a bit.
Comment from ~Dovey
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Hi Treischel,

This looks like quite the undertaking. You've given both a history and an English lesson, all in one! It appears that you have met all your objectives in this lengthy piece. Your presentation is excellent and the author's notes are invaluable. Thanks for sharing!

Kim

 Comment Written 16-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 16-Jan-2016
    Stank you Kim.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
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A great poem that must have taken a lot of time to construct perfectly. Interesting history as well. Far to difficult for me, even to consider.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016
    Thank you Sandra. It was quite an exercise.
Comment from Joan E.
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Thanks for the history lesson and for sharing your complex poem--it must have taken you forever to create. Thanks also for the instructions to help us better enjoy the work. I am amazed that you were able to tell this story in the acrostic form. It flows better without punctuation, and my favorite was reading the lines from left to right, and the "mad" queen returning repeatedly. Cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016
    Thank you Joan. She had good reason to be mad, I think.
Comment from chcbeck
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I could not give anything less than six stars for this the poem looks incredibly difficult to do and then adding an acrostic. The story, and the history it's just brilliant thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016
    Thank you chcbeck. I really appreciate the stars and your reaction to the piece makes all the work that went into it worthwhile.
Comment from William Ross
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Just excellent. this is really truly great work and a great multi poem in one. great job well worth the 6 stars. thanks for sharing the poems and the talent.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016
    Tank you very much William, I am pleased and surprised that you had any left so late in week.
Comment from dmt1967
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This is like three poems in one. They all tell a story and they all make perfect sense when read as one or three. I like the thought process that went into this as well. Thank you for sharing.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016
    Thank you dmt.
Comment from arelby
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This is like a graduate study in English history/legend in a form invented by a glutton for punishment! For making it all work so well, you deserve more than five stars, but that's all I have to give. I can't quiet imagine what motivated the invention of such a challenging set of requirements. But that doesn't matter. You have nailed it.

 Comment Written 15-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 15-Jan-2016
    Thank you arelby. I saw one written by Pantygynt, and had to try it. The challenge was everything.