Falling Off The Edge
Viewing comments for Prologue "Falling Off The Edge - Part One"A true story
43 total reviews
Comment from pbomar1115
Even though you and stepmom did not get along, the tradition was important. I can say, these days, I've learned, the family tradition of paying respect is not a big deal. In fact, if a member whose had trouble with the deceased, it would portend trouble for that member.
Phillip
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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Even though you and stepmom did not get along, the tradition was important. I can say, these days, I've learned, the family tradition of paying respect is not a big deal. In fact, if a member whose had trouble with the deceased, it would portend trouble for that member.
Phillip
Comment Written 10-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 15-Nov-2017
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thanks a lot Phillip. I so appreciate your review. It's a biography I would really like to expand on. Thaanks so much again. All the best. Ulla:))
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Sorry.
Comment from Ricky1024
Over the edge was that finally written piece rich and semen imagery I enjoy the objective as well as objective contents descriptive measures were excellent it flowed well and red well with no grammar issues thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Over the edge was that finally written piece rich and semen imagery I enjoy the objective as well as objective contents descriptive measures were excellent it flowed well and red well with no grammar issues thanks for this doctor Ricky 1024
Comment Written 10-Nov-2017
reply by the author on 18-Nov-2017
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Thanks so much, Ricky. I really appreciate your review. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment from robyn corum
Ulla,
Wow. Yes, I'd say you are cutting it close! yikes! But at least you came -- which seems to be more than we can say about some of the other family members? Or were there literally none? Strange, indeed.
Some notes:
1.) "Christianshavns Kirke(,") I panted, "and can you make that in ten minutes,
please?"
2.) how the mere sound of a church organ shrilled me to the bone when I
--> I think you mean 'chilled'?
--> 'shrill' is a type of sound, I believe...?
Thanks!
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Ulla,
Wow. Yes, I'd say you are cutting it close! yikes! But at least you came -- which seems to be more than we can say about some of the other family members? Or were there literally none? Strange, indeed.
Some notes:
1.) "Christianshavns Kirke(,") I panted, "and can you make that in ten minutes,
please?"
2.) how the mere sound of a church organ shrilled me to the bone when I
--> I think you mean 'chilled'?
--> 'shrill' is a type of sound, I believe...?
Thanks!
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
Comment from Sharon Haiste
This is a good start to your story.
Good character building, setting a nice plot.
Well done.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Sharon
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This is a good start to your story.
Good character building, setting a nice plot.
Well done.
I look forward to the next chapter.
Sharon
Comment Written 09-Nov-2017
Comment from EMB
Reading this, I came to realize that I haven't ever read/followed a character on the way to a funeral in such detail. You do a great job placing readers inside this person's head without being overly dramatic. Nice work.
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2016
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Reading this, I came to realize that I haven't ever read/followed a character on the way to a funeral in such detail. You do a great job placing readers inside this person's head without being overly dramatic. Nice work.
Comment Written 07-Mar-2016
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2016
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Wow, thank you very much for this great review. I am pleased that I managed to convey my thoughts. All the best. Ulla
Comment from Green Lake Girl
Still playing catch up, Ulla. Sorry for the late review. I saw you'd posted Part II, so I rummaged through your portfolio until I unearthed Part I. I don't think I realized you'd not been a part of your adopted mother's life for 15 years at the time of her funeral. Sometimes it's just better to remove yourself from someone's orbit if they're toxic to you.
You do a good job with the telling of the story. Complete with a crappy start to the day, to set the pace. It must've been a very difficult day for you.
Part II coming up!
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Still playing catch up, Ulla. Sorry for the late review. I saw you'd posted Part II, so I rummaged through your portfolio until I unearthed Part I. I don't think I realized you'd not been a part of your adopted mother's life for 15 years at the time of her funeral. Sometimes it's just better to remove yourself from someone's orbit if they're toxic to you.
You do a good job with the telling of the story. Complete with a crappy start to the day, to set the pace. It must've been a very difficult day for you.
Part II coming up!
Comment Written 21-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Oh, Melissa, you are a star. How I appreciate you're doing this. I'm honoured. Thanks ever so much. You are so right, I had to distance myself. It was me or her, my adoptive mother. I chose me. I had a life to live.More to follow soon. All the best. Ulla
Comment from alexisleech
I'm so sorry I missed this, Ulla, but as you know, I was a bit internet phobic at the time you posted it. At least I got there in the end because Part Two alerted me today!
Knowing that the relationship with your adoptive mother was turbulent at times, I can understand how hard this may have been to write, but you have done a great job. Your inner feelings are obvious, and the tension around your journey explained sufficiently to create a vivid picture in the readers mind.
Now off to read Part Two!
Love and hugs,
Alexis xxx
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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I'm so sorry I missed this, Ulla, but as you know, I was a bit internet phobic at the time you posted it. At least I got there in the end because Part Two alerted me today!
Knowing that the relationship with your adoptive mother was turbulent at times, I can understand how hard this may have been to write, but you have done a great job. Your inner feelings are obvious, and the tension around your journey explained sufficiently to create a vivid picture in the readers mind.
Now off to read Part Two!
Love and hugs,
Alexis xxx
Comment Written 19-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2016
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Thanks again Alexis. I'm so pleased you've actually gone back to read the first part. Thanks a lot for doing that. Yeah, my relationship with my adoptive mother became non existence. I cut her out all together to get piece of mind. She was something else!. Love a hugs to you. Ullaxxx
Comment from Sasha
This is very well written and took me on a not so fond memory of my cousin's funeral. It is something I have wanted to write about for quite some time but now that you have written this, I may hold off for a bit before writing it. Excellent work with this and I look forward to reading the next installment.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016
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This is very well written and took me on a not so fond memory of my cousin's funeral. It is something I have wanted to write about for quite some time but now that you have written this, I may hold off for a bit before writing it. Excellent work with this and I look forward to reading the next installment.
Comment Written 16-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2016
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Oh Sasha, thanks ever so much for getting started on my new story. I am so pleased. Hope you are still getting better and looking forward to more of your writing again. You know that I enjoy it so much. All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment from Dav54
Excellent piece! Even though it appears to be an excerpt it stands alone so well! Certainly you are not still harboring doubts about whether you "have what it takes" to write a book. I have nothing to suggest other than perhaps questioning whether the phrase "shrilled to the bone" was intentional or not. At first I thought it was a typo for "thrilled", but the more I thought about it, the more I loved it. Organs do evoke not only an emotional response but a physical one felt in the body, and that phrase conveys that quite will. (It does seem to contrast perfectly with the lack of feeling for your adoptive mother.) I loved how the emotion of this piece came through and how smoothly it reads. Wonderful job! Very powerful!
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Excellent piece! Even though it appears to be an excerpt it stands alone so well! Certainly you are not still harboring doubts about whether you "have what it takes" to write a book. I have nothing to suggest other than perhaps questioning whether the phrase "shrilled to the bone" was intentional or not. At first I thought it was a typo for "thrilled", but the more I thought about it, the more I loved it. Organs do evoke not only an emotional response but a physical one felt in the body, and that phrase conveys that quite will. (It does seem to contrast perfectly with the lack of feeling for your adoptive mother.) I loved how the emotion of this piece came through and how smoothly it reads. Wonderful job! Very powerful!
Comment Written 14-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you ever so much not only the stars but a great review. I am so pleased. You are right it could stand alone and I thought about to do just that, but there is really so much more to the story that I have decided to tell it. You are the second reviewer who have asked me about 'shrilled' and came to the same conclusion. And yes it was not a typo I did and do mean that word because that is what the organ evoked in me. More is to follow soon. All the best. Ulla
Comment from chasennov
A Funeral. Falling Off The Edge Part One.' This story you have created here was quite well developed and I thought the formulation was also quite well styled. The rest of the dialogue and narrative was fairly strongly structured. Very well done.
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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A Funeral. Falling Off The Edge Part One.' This story you have created here was quite well developed and I thought the formulation was also quite well styled. The rest of the dialogue and narrative was fairly strongly structured. Very well done.
Comment Written 14-Feb-2016
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2016
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Thank you so much. I am overwhelmed with the reception I've got and hope that I can live up to it. All the best. Ulla
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You are most welcome, Ulla.
