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Viewing comments for Chapter 126 "Prelude to Electro Shock"Personal poems
9 total reviews
Comment from Pantygynt
Oh Tom, I am sorry to hear this tale. I am going to be worse than useless because I simply have no experience, either first or second hand of this sort of thing. Purely judging the poetry, having read both poems I prefer the second, later one. This seems to me to be very clinical. My guess is that both must have been difficult to write.
Sorry, mate. I'm not much help here.
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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Oh Tom, I am sorry to hear this tale. I am going to be worse than useless because I simply have no experience, either first or second hand of this sort of thing. Purely judging the poetry, having read both poems I prefer the second, later one. This seems to me to be very clinical. My guess is that both must have been difficult to write.
Sorry, mate. I'm not much help here.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt. No problem, I understand, and you are fortunate not to have.
Comment from I am Cat
Hello Tom,
I can appreciate what you've been through, though my bipolar disorder has not manifested itself in quite these ways (of course, I'm still alive, and well...there's still time, isn't there?) ;)
I'm unsure of the nausea part, as I've never heard of anyone experiencing nausea as part of bipolar disorder or mania symptoms... however, as part of the treatment of it, yes.
It made me think of Meniere's Disease:
Meniere's disease is a disorder of the inner ear that causes episodes in which you feel as if you're spinning (vertigo), and you have fluctuating hearing loss with a progressive, ultimately permanent loss of hearing, ringing in the ear (tinnitus), and sometimes a feeling of fullness or pressure in your ear. In most cases, Meniere's disease affects only one ear.
Meniere's disease can occur at any age, but it usually starts between the ages of 20 and 50. It's considered a chronic condition, but various treatments can help relieve symptoms and minimize the long-term impact on your life.
But maybe she's responding to medications which would make her nauseous... I've just never heard of mania causing nausea. Odd. Nausea from electroshock, yes. Sounds like an inner ear disorder.
At any rate, the poem.
I've read both poems, and I think that the OTHER one is (in my mind) better than this one.
You're getting your ideas across, but it seems almost as if you're (almost) speaking another language with the use of words that, as Americans, we don't use:
Hissing out the window,
as people pass,
the open window sash.
(no one uses the words "window sash" in America)
Psychiatry promised to take it away.
At least, that's what the doctors would say.
(why not just say, "that's what the doctors said." (to keep the tense correct)? I know, it rhymes... but you lose something in the translation)
overcoming long-term medical dread,
my wife took stock.
(this is another place where I think the rhyme was just called up,
as this isn't a way we 'speak') (or maybe just not in Texas? ) LOL
All in all, of course it's a difficult conversation to have... but one which I think could have been sat on for full effect and thought about over the New Year, and you could have chosen some really awesome word play to use after the first... this one and the next could have really put you higher on the rankings to start you out fresh.
Powerful subjects to end the year on... but starting the year... Even MORE powerful.
Hugs and love,
to you and Karen,
Cat
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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Hello Tom,
I can appreciate what you've been through, though my bipolar disorder has not manifested itself in quite these ways (of course, I'm still alive, and well...there's still time, isn't there?) ;)
I'm unsure of the nausea part, as I've never heard of anyone experiencing nausea as part of bipolar disorder or mania symptoms... however, as part of the treatment of it, yes.
It made me think of Meniere's Disease:
Meniere's disease is a disorder of the inner ear that causes episodes in which you feel as if you're spinning (vertigo), and you have fluctuating hearing loss with a progressive, ultimately permanent loss of hearing, ringing in the ear (tinnitus), and sometimes a feeling of fullness or pressure in your ear. In most cases, Meniere's disease affects only one ear.
Meniere's disease can occur at any age, but it usually starts between the ages of 20 and 50. It's considered a chronic condition, but various treatments can help relieve symptoms and minimize the long-term impact on your life.
But maybe she's responding to medications which would make her nauseous... I've just never heard of mania causing nausea. Odd. Nausea from electroshock, yes. Sounds like an inner ear disorder.
At any rate, the poem.
I've read both poems, and I think that the OTHER one is (in my mind) better than this one.
You're getting your ideas across, but it seems almost as if you're (almost) speaking another language with the use of words that, as Americans, we don't use:
Hissing out the window,
as people pass,
the open window sash.
(no one uses the words "window sash" in America)
Psychiatry promised to take it away.
At least, that's what the doctors would say.
(why not just say, "that's what the doctors said." (to keep the tense correct)? I know, it rhymes... but you lose something in the translation)
overcoming long-term medical dread,
my wife took stock.
(this is another place where I think the rhyme was just called up,
as this isn't a way we 'speak') (or maybe just not in Texas? ) LOL
All in all, of course it's a difficult conversation to have... but one which I think could have been sat on for full effect and thought about over the New Year, and you could have chosen some really awesome word play to use after the first... this one and the next could have really put you higher on the rankings to start you out fresh.
Powerful subjects to end the year on... but starting the year... Even MORE powerful.
Hugs and love,
to you and Karen,
Cat
Comment Written 29-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
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Thank you Cat for some excellent points. Definitely not an ear issue, but could have been a reaction to meds. I didn't really think about syntax or dialect, it just flowed out that way. I was just focusing on this particular episode. There are so many others. I wanted to convey a series describing many other aspects like: supersensitive hearing (especially to electronic vibrations), spontaneous spending sprees, paranoia, off meds events, hyperfriendlyness, inappropriate verbal comments. But my wife got upset with this one, so I guess I'll put that project on hold.
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Don't forget:
hyper-sexuality
hyper-irritability, excessive drug use... all sorts of fun stuff! ;)
Yeah, these sorts of things don't need to have the person's NAME on them. ;)
You might feel the same way. I'm sure she feels a bit embarrassed. I don't mind writing about my own stuff, but I don't really want someone else writing about them... and believe me, no one wants the ENTIRE story. ;)
Hugs
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Yup all that too. Also, very intelligent and convincing.
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indeed... don't forget creative, charismatic, conniving, artistic, omnipotent... yeah... all those. ;)
Comment from tfawcus
I read these two the wrong way around! This sets the scene for the subsequent treatment well. The short lines suggest the almost whimsical unpredictability of this disease. Driven by despair to extreme treatment "hopefully/hopelessly". Aggressive treatments always have us in two minds.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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I read these two the wrong way around! This sets the scene for the subsequent treatment well. The short lines suggest the almost whimsical unpredictability of this disease. Driven by despair to extreme treatment "hopefully/hopelessly". Aggressive treatments always have us in two minds.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Tony. It is a troubling disease. The hardest part is getting the patient to realize that they have a problem.
Comment from Linda Kay
I am quite impressed with your ability to take this event and transform the story into a rhyming form, while keeping the events and emotions the forefront of the writing. Good job!
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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I am quite impressed with your ability to take this event and transform the story into a rhyming form, while keeping the events and emotions the forefront of the writing. Good job!
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Linda Kay.
Comment from Glasstruth
That must have been nerve wreckng. You describe the mania very vividly and I hope she's doing better now. It's a good story poem. Was wondering how the Electro shock went. The ending doesn't quite say. Well penned. Les
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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That must have been nerve wreckng. You describe the mania very vividly and I hope she's doing better now. It's a good story poem. Was wondering how the Electro shock went. The ending doesn't quite say. Well penned. Les
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Les. I write a second poem covering the therapy itself.
Comment from Joan E.
I'm sorry you two have gone through such difficult times. Your choice of free style is quite appropriate along with your random rhymes. The idea of "hopefully, hopelessly" communicated the feelings well. I add more urgency to my wish for a healthy and peaceful New Year- Joan
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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I'm sorry you two have gone through such difficult times. Your choice of free style is quite appropriate along with your random rhymes. The idea of "hopefully, hopelessly" communicated the feelings well. I add more urgency to my wish for a healthy and peaceful New Year- Joan
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Joan. Things are much better now. She finally got on the right meds in December 2012, and has been good ever since. But your good wishes are much appreciated as we look forward to 2016.
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I am relieved she was able to get the right medication. Here's to a serene 2016- Joan
Comment from patcelaw
Treischel, as you know I am manic depressive and I too am stable now. I did some of the things your wife did, I sat in the grass on our lawn in the middle of the night. I was told I was pulling the grass and shouting bug, bugs. One time I went for a walk along the street and I took off my shoes and threw tem in the street. I crossed the overpass and at the top of the overpass I took off my watch and said, "Timex," and dropped the watch in the wash below. I had to be hospitalized many times and have now gotten to where I recognize when I need help and call the local mental health facility and have myself admitted. Patricia
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Treischel, as you know I am manic depressive and I too am stable now. I did some of the things your wife did, I sat in the grass on our lawn in the middle of the night. I was told I was pulling the grass and shouting bug, bugs. One time I went for a walk along the street and I took off my shoes and threw tem in the street. I crossed the overpass and at the top of the overpass I took off my watch and said, "Timex," and dropped the watch in the wash below. I had to be hospitalized many times and have now gotten to where I recognize when I need help and call the local mental health facility and have myself admitted. Patricia
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Pratricia, I really appreciate you sharing you experience. Then you know all about the medicine roller coaster. We finally got her on the right Meds in December 2912. I think it helps to know that you are not alone. There are other people out there struggling with the same issues,
Comment from TAB_that's me
That would extremely hard to live with - both for you and her. Did the electro stock help her? In the pictures, she looks like she is having fun though :)
Teresa
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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That would extremely hard to live with - both for you and her. Did the electro stock help her? In the pictures, she looks like she is having fun though :)
Teresa
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Teresa. It helped with the nausea.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
It is hard to see someone you love with pain and suffering, and will do anything to make the situation better. I hope the treatment will work, I have no experience about that.
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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It is hard to see someone you love with pain and suffering, and will do anything to make the situation better. I hope the treatment will work, I have no experience about that.
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
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Thank you Sandra. It was definitely a strain.
