Reviews from

Man's Great Folly - Master Sonnet

Acrostic Sonnet for Climate Change Wreath

44 total reviews 
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Ok, now I have read all of the sonnets and this one the master sonnet. You did a great job with this sonnet. The lines flow well and do lend themselves to being used by the other members in this project. Good job with the format--acrostic and sonnet. I enjoyed everything I read on this on and the others. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    Thank you.

    It was quite an effort to write an acrostic in sonnet form that also allowed for lines to be borrowed for use in the other fourteen. Very worthwhile project, though, so worth the toil!

    Steve
Comment from Liberty Justice
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

SIX 6 BEAUTIFUL SHINING STARS to you, beautiful dear poet. This poem is one of your many masterpieces. It is filled with ecological and conservational concerns. Discusses issues politicians should dwell on in the speeches. We need to do something to improve world's conditions. liberty justice

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    Thanks so much, LJ

    It was quite an effort to write an acrostic in sonnet form that also allowed for lines to be borrowed for use in the other fourteen. Very worthwhile project, though, so worth the toil!

    Steve
Comment from ~Dovey
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Hi Steve~

This is certainly a noble and worthy project. Since you've actually penned only one line in this piece, I'll just marvel at the cleverness of its creation. I love the artwork chosen to represent this piece.

I have just two suggestions: My first is that I was thinking perhaps the Master Sonnet should be listed at the end, rather than at the top of the sonnet creators list. My thought was to read them in order, as suggested, which, at this point, involves going to each profile. If I'm reading this correctly, this is the culmination of the 1st lines for each of the sonnets and would then be #15. I'll come back and read it again. :) (For the full experience.)

My 2nd is that you place all of these sonnets in a Multi-Author book. I haven't been part of one of those it a long time, so I'm not sure if that needed to be done as they were posted, or not. I was thinking that if you started a book with a prologue and then were to add them in order, it would be easier for the readers to enjoy them all at once, in the order which they were intended. As I said, I'm not sure exactly how to go about that, or if you can now that all the poems have been posted. You may want to ask robina if you aren't sure how (she's the one who initiated the multi-author book with which I was previously involved)

Bravo to a stellar project!

Kim

 Comment Written 02-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    Thanks, Kim, but you do me an injustice. The acrostic Master Sonnet came first and was actually posted several weeks ago and the other sonneteers each took their first and last lines from it.We had a kind of internal competition to choose the best contender, which I was honoured to win.

    I was not actually supposed to write a further sonnet, bit one of our team members pulled out, so I wrote #9 as well.

    As far as the book goes, Jyoti (LightInk) who came up with the concept and organised the whole thing (admirably, I might add) has plans to add a matching set of free verse pieces and then hopefully get it published - that would be some way down the track.

    Steve

reply by ~Dovey on 02-Feb-2016
    Steve~
    Don't despair, no injustice is done. I'm just now to # 9 lol as I've just reviewed #8. And, I said I would be back ;) Your notes make it sound like you were 'given' each of those lines, not like you were the author, by the way. Perhaps an addition there? Or else I just misunderstood. That is always possible.

    Each piece makes reference to the Master Sonnet as #15. So, should it be read first or last? (by the way, most of the selections have a typo in Master in their author notes (except Ray, I think, thus far.)

    Kudos on being bestowed the honour of the best. :) No slight was intended at all.

    Kim

reply by ~Dovey on 02-Feb-2016
    Steve~

    And, as promised, I am back :) Tired of hearing from me today? lol My three favorite things about the Master Sonnet:

    1. That it is an acrostic. I have a great love for acrostics and sonnets. Meld the two and you melt my heart (right along with my Arctic sea ice.)

    2. Rapacious plunder drains the sweetest well. (This one stuck with me through the reading of all 15 sonnets and is my single favorite line.)

    3. For every planted tree a forest falls (the other image that stuck with me throughout)

    Thank you for your patience while I read them all. :)

    *hugs*

    Kim
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    No, I kno you never intended any 'slight'. It was an understandable misunderstanding!

    The typo is one I noticed and changed (we were all asked to copy and paste these notes) I didn't really have time in the rush to get all of them posted on the same day to contact the others, since it was a small thing.

    Anyway 'Mater' seems almost appropriate for a sonnet addressed to 'Mother' Earth.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Let's hope that people start taking better care of our planet in the future before it really is too late.

This is nicely done, Steve, and your words moved me. The passion behind the poem shone through - I could really feel your angst. Hugs, Lou

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    Thanks, Lou. Yes, that's what we really need - and soon.

    Steve
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Even a animal has enough sense not to destroy its home. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. There is good imagery.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    Thanks, Charlie.

    Steve
reply by c_lucas on 02-Feb-2016
    You're welcome, Steve. Charlie
Comment from Pantygynt
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

These are awfully difficult to review as, being a member of the team I have lived with them all for a long time it seems. It is great to see them all emerge like butterflies from their chrysalis. Especially when I knew most of them as caterpillars, have seen them grow and take wing.

I don't see how I can reserve all my sixes for two and a half weeks for this project as Jyoti is doing so I shall go the opposite way and give them all five as if I had already run out. The one exception I made was Jyoti herself as the organiser. She got a six.

This is a great sonnet, a perfect sonnet. It was elected to this elevated position of "Magistrate" by all us other participants and in any other circumstance would deserve a six.

 Comment Written 01-Feb-2016


reply by the author on 02-Feb-2016
    That's weird - I just replied to your review on this - identical except for a few words...

    So, thanks again.

    Steve
Comment from ciliverde
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

An excellent Master Sonnet from which the wreath of sonnets was formed. I wa honored to use two of your lines for my sonnet, and to be part of this great project.
Your lines here are clear and vivid, I feel the words deeply, as a scientist and as a poet.
Yes - the fools bicker while Rome burns - so to speak. It's infuriating.
Carol

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 01-Feb-2016
    Thank you, Carol - is that Green Chillis as your pen name?

    You can always rely on politicians to take twice as long as necessary and expend ten times as many words. At least we can say that awareness is growing, the deniers are increasingly falling away... Real change? May happen some day - let's hope it's not too late.

    Steve
reply by ciliverde on 01-Feb-2016
    Ciliverde is a play on my maiden name - Ciliberti.
    In the US climate change is a partisan issue - which is ridiculous. The conservative right are the big deniers.
Comment from mountainwriter49
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good Morning, Steve,

This Master Sonnet is most impressive as a sonnet, and even more so in that it is a well written Acrostic. Now that's something not seen everyday!

The sonnet is in fine form. The theme is well developed in the first two stanzas. It appears to me you've also continued the theme's development in stanza three and have used the couplet as the turn. While this is perfectly fine, it is something now seen every day. I know the Bard was prone to doing it from time-to-time. :)

The end rhyme pattern is spot-on and the rhymes are true and solid.

The iambic meter is spot-on except in line 4. It appears you are using guardian as a two syllable word when the dictionary declares it as three. I understand you're in the process of changing it to 'children'. This would restore the meter.

And on top of this you wrote Sonnet 8.

The Master Sonnet is a work of art and set the tone for the Wreath. Well done.

-Ray

 Comment Written 31-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Ray.

    Wrestling the sonnet around the requirements of an acrostic was no easy task - trust me!

    Thanks for the reminder about 'guardian' - probably just an indication of sloppy pronunciation on my part. Yes, it should have three syllables, although you will often hear it given just two - gard-yen I have made the change now.

    I appreciate the thoughtful review and the six stars.

    Steve
Comment from foxangie123
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I thought I had reviewed this but maybe not. It is another amazingly insightful perception of the earth and the prompt. If I had six they'd be yours. Keep Going..

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Angie.

    This one was posted some time ago - I have brought it back to coincide with the posting of all the wreath sonnets that are based on it.

    Steve
Comment from JanPerry
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your works are always such a high standard. You seem to put a lot of thought into the concept of climate change and how we have ruined the earth.
I myself don't think much, its a lot of work. But you have mastered the poem well.

 Comment Written 30-Jan-2016


reply by the author on 31-Jan-2016
    Thanks, Jan.

    Steve