Shifting Shadows. Poems of Darkness
Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "The Watch"A collection of dark poetry
69 total reviews
Comment from Leineco
Except for the line
Ten days and nights he perches on the tomb;
I was prepared to see this as a stand alone poem - of an animals
devotion to a "master" that has passed (which I was totally buying
into)
but with that line I realized there would be more to come (goodie, goodie! :-)
I'm totally enthralled and hooked! :-)
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Except for the line
Ten days and nights he perches on the tomb;
I was prepared to see this as a stand alone poem - of an animals
devotion to a "master" that has passed (which I was totally buying
into)
but with that line I realized there would be more to come (goodie, goodie! :-)
I'm totally enthralled and hooked! :-)
Comment Written 23-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Leineco, for the excellent review and rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem of the hawk and its vigil.
There may very well be more to come. I appreciate your positive and encouraging comments very much.
Comment from w.j.debi
I've never considered the loyalty of a hawk before, but I believe they mate for life so it would make sense that they would be loyal to a beloved master as well.
This is a beautiful tale of loyalty as the bird guards the grave and assures his friend lies in peace. Is there a significance to ten days?
The pictures are gorgeous and pair wonderfully well with your verse.
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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I've never considered the loyalty of a hawk before, but I believe they mate for life so it would make sense that they would be loyal to a beloved master as well.
This is a beautiful tale of loyalty as the bird guards the grave and assures his friend lies in peace. Is there a significance to ten days?
The pictures are gorgeous and pair wonderfully well with your verse.
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 23-Nov-2015
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Thank you, w.j. debi, for the excellent review and rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the art work and the poem of the hawk and its vigil.
It is a true and faithful friend, and will not leave its trainer. The time of mourning and vigilance varied in different cultures, so I chose the ten days more for poetic reasons. I appreciate your positive and encouraging comments very much.
Comment from Unspoken94
You have taken the dedicated watch of this bird to communicate the value of loyalty and devotion. A value system that seems to have been misplaced in our society. Very well done. -Bill
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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You have taken the dedicated watch of this bird to communicate the value of loyalty and devotion. A value system that seems to have been misplaced in our society. Very well done. -Bill
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Bill, for the excellent review and rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem of the hawk and its vigil.
It is a true and faithful friend, and will not leave its trainer. I appreciate your positive and encouraging comments very much.
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I have rewritten a poem titled, "A Gift To Self" and I have reactivated it for review. An ad for my book with the same title is on display at the bottom of this screen. Thanks, bill
Comment from Neonewman
Love the great artwork you have chosen for this wonderfully crafted piece you have delivered.
It shows the loving side of the bird as well
God bless!
sTeve
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Love the great artwork you have chosen for this wonderfully crafted piece you have delivered.
It shows the loving side of the bird as well
God bless!
sTeve
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Steve, for the excellent review and rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the art work and the poem of the hawk and its vigil.
It is a true and faithful friend, and will not leave its trainer. I appreciate your positive and encouraging comments very much.
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My pleasure!
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My pleasure!
Comment from seaglass
The picture is a wonderful shot of the hawk. I can see how it would inspire a poem. Interesting story of a guarding and loyal hawk. To guard against demons, he must be also a bit supernatural. It also reminded me of the grave robberies many years ago, This creature would have been effective then, as well.
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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The picture is a wonderful shot of the hawk. I can see how it would inspire a poem. Interesting story of a guarding and loyal hawk. To guard against demons, he must be also a bit supernatural. It also reminded me of the grave robberies many years ago, This creature would have been effective then, as well.
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, seaglass, for the excellent and interesting review and the excellent rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and the photographs of the Hawk. I appreciated your positive and encouraging words very much.
Comment from ciliverde
We have many gorgeous hawks where we live, of different sorts. They are a presence here and I love to watch them soar around in search of rabbits - we live in the Conejo Valley :)
This seems like a blank verse to me, and it is fabulous. Is it not blank verse because of the repeating lines? I do like how you've done that, with the exact words varying with each repetition. Your meter is very good AND iambic - I found out that blank verse is supposed to be iambic.
You have strong sentiment in your poem - the strong, faithful waiting bird, keeping wake above his master - along with the smooth rhythm. The way you have done this, it FEELS like it rhymes. This is what I love most about blank verse. Great job! I glanced over this last night but wanted to wait to review when I wasn't so tired. :)
Carol
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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We have many gorgeous hawks where we live, of different sorts. They are a presence here and I love to watch them soar around in search of rabbits - we live in the Conejo Valley :)
This seems like a blank verse to me, and it is fabulous. Is it not blank verse because of the repeating lines? I do like how you've done that, with the exact words varying with each repetition. Your meter is very good AND iambic - I found out that blank verse is supposed to be iambic.
You have strong sentiment in your poem - the strong, faithful waiting bird, keeping wake above his master - along with the smooth rhythm. The way you have done this, it FEELS like it rhymes. This is what I love most about blank verse. Great job! I glanced over this last night but wanted to wait to review when I wasn't so tired. :)
Carol
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Carol, for the splendid and interesting review and the exceptional rating. Technically, it is not blank verse, though it has many of the elements of it. We also have hawks here and I have some marvelous photos, so I may write a sequel at some point. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and the picture of the hawk. I think of the hawk as a steadfast and faithful friend , as well. I appreciate your warm and encouraging words and the splendid six stars very much. Thank you!!!
Comment from nancyjam
I enjoyed this story of loyalty even after death. The hawk is
such a symbol of strength, and here shows the strength of
his devotion to his master in protecting his tomb.
Wonderful imagery throughout. Strong meter and excellent
word choice.
I love the pictures that complement your poem so well.
Nancy
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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I enjoyed this story of loyalty even after death. The hawk is
such a symbol of strength, and here shows the strength of
his devotion to his master in protecting his tomb.
Wonderful imagery throughout. Strong meter and excellent
word choice.
I love the pictures that complement your poem so well.
Nancy
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Nancy, for the marvelous and interesting review and the excellent rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and the pictures of the Hawk. I appreciated your positive and encouraging words very much.
Comment from Raoul D'Harmental
Hi rspoet,
This is a wonderful poem celebrating the hawk and it's predatory prowess. The quatrains are nice and concise and the meter is excellent. Thanks for sharing this! R
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Hi rspoet,
This is a wonderful poem celebrating the hawk and it's predatory prowess. The quatrains are nice and concise and the meter is excellent. Thanks for sharing this! R
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Raoul, for the excellent and interesting review and the excellent rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem of the Hawk. I appreciated your positive and encouraging words very much.
Comment from Cass Carlton
. A tale of love and fidelity between a bird and its master. How beautiful. For ten days the Hawk keeps vigil over his master's tomb, watching and protecting his soul from evil spirits that would capture it if they could. This is written in the present tense which gives it an immediacy and urgency adding to its dramatic impact. There is something utterly thrilling about this piece. The thought of a faithful bird defending his master even in death is soul stirring . I congratulate you on your concept, the Artwork and the clear , evocative words you have used to bring it all out. Well done cheers Cass
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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. A tale of love and fidelity between a bird and its master. How beautiful. For ten days the Hawk keeps vigil over his master's tomb, watching and protecting his soul from evil spirits that would capture it if they could. This is written in the present tense which gives it an immediacy and urgency adding to its dramatic impact. There is something utterly thrilling about this piece. The thought of a faithful bird defending his master even in death is soul stirring . I congratulate you on your concept, the Artwork and the clear , evocative words you have used to bring it all out. Well done cheers Cass
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Cass, for the fantastic, interesting and complimentary review and the exceptional rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem and the pictures of the hawk. I think of the hawk as a steadfast and faithful bird, as well. I appreciated your warm and encouraging words and the splendid six stars very much. Thank you for this lovely review! You have made my evening. :))
Comment from Writingfundimension
'Ten days and nights he perches on the tomb;
No fiend or foul can lure him from his task.
Upon the obelisk on guard he waits--
His master lies below in solemn peace.'
I find this poem very moving. I love the story of the Hawk's loyalty to his deceased master. Very well done!
:) Bev
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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'Ten days and nights he perches on the tomb;
No fiend or foul can lure him from his task.
Upon the obelisk on guard he waits--
His master lies below in solemn peace.'
I find this poem very moving. I love the story of the Hawk's loyalty to his deceased master. Very well done!
:) Bev
Comment Written 22-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 22-Nov-2015
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Thank you, Bev, for the excellent and interesting review and the excellent rating. I'm glad you enjoyed the poem of the Hawk and his loyalty to his master. I appreciated your positive and encouraging words very much.
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You're very welcome! :) Bev
