Shifting Shadows. Poems of Darkness
Viewing comments for Chapter 10032 "Mother In Law"A collection of dark poetry
10 total reviews
Comment from Linda Engel
Nothing worse than messing with mama's baby boy , especially when mama hates the daughter-in-law. There's enough ghosts in them hills that Leroy won't have a minuet's rest. He's dead meat. Some women just plain stupid letting the drunk loving get in the way of responsibility,. But then she's a hussy.
Good one Red.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
Nothing worse than messing with mama's baby boy , especially when mama hates the daughter-in-law. There's enough ghosts in them hills that Leroy won't have a minuet's rest. He's dead meat. Some women just plain stupid letting the drunk loving get in the way of responsibility,. But then she's a hussy.
Good one Red.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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From the cartoon, it would seem Leroy's had a bad night. Thanks a lot, Linda, for reading and reviewing. What did the old rock song say-"sent from down below, Mother-in-law"?
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Yep, that's the one.
Comment from seaglass
The rhyme and meter is very good. The cartoon silhouette is also well done. The story is quite bleak and depicts an individual who takes no responsible for her predicament.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
The rhyme and meter is very good. The cartoon silhouette is also well done. The story is quite bleak and depicts an individual who takes no responsible for her predicament.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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People do love to blame their troubles on other people...thanks a lot for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Jay Squires
Well, Red, I don't usually have trouble understanding your poetry. This one has me buffaloed. Two guys in it. One identified as having a puny prick, the tother as hung like a hoss. Leroy's that one. Who's tother, and what does he do but work, read the bible and be cancerous?
And who's the she coming back with Leroy's head?
Sorry, guy, but no comprende.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
Well, Red, I don't usually have trouble understanding your poetry. This one has me buffaloed. Two guys in it. One identified as having a puny prick, the tother as hung like a hoss. Leroy's that one. Who's tother, and what does he do but work, read the bible and be cancerous?
And who's the she coming back with Leroy's head?
Sorry, guy, but no comprende.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Quiet little husband's widowed mom dies of cancer, threatening to come back from the grave if his flashy wife (the speaker) hurts the lad. Her brawny lover offs hubby, wife alibis him, and mom comes back for revenge. Just FYI. Reviewers say Einstein
couldn't decipher this roadhouse epic. Safe to say horror verse ain't my strong suit, which is okay. Still bogged down on my prose fiction efforts. The bad side of that is that when I get hung up, I take a break screwing around with poetry...sorry about
your lost minutes tracking beetles, thanks for having a go at it. Hey, whattaya expect from a washed-up electrician?
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Hey, Red, I know it will embarrass you, but you are a brilliant wordsman, whether poetry or prose.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Hello :)
Wow! This is definitely a poem of darkness. Nice addition to the collection. The life of the bitter woman was pretty horrible. Solid rhyme and meter with well chosen words. Attractive presentation with the picture/cartoon that you designed? It is cool. Good job!
Gypsy
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
Hello :)
Wow! This is definitely a poem of darkness. Nice addition to the collection. The life of the bitter woman was pretty horrible. Solid rhyme and meter with well chosen words. Attractive presentation with the picture/cartoon that you designed? It is cool. Good job!
Gypsy
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. Horror, like poetry, is not my speciality, but it's kinda fun.
Comment from fafa
it is a poem difficult to understand, I feelthat it is necessary to know if it is aquestion of a publication that comes fromthe past, greetings
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
it is a poem difficult to understand, I feelthat it is necessary to know if it is aquestion of a publication that comes fromthe past, greetings
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Just a story of a bored, cheating wife, an ordinary husband killed by her crude jock lover, and the husband's dead mother who comes back from the grave for revenge. I tried for an old mountain flavor when I wrote it-yesterday, 11/7/15. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from snooker155
brutal rude and shocking but brilliant work flighty and pacy and nicely rhythmed a great writing for a male audience preferably but broad minded and hard women would appreciate it too well done from snooker155x
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
brutal rude and shocking but brilliant work flighty and pacy and nicely rhythmed a great writing for a male audience preferably but broad minded and hard women would appreciate it too well done from snooker155x
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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A retired sailor and millworker and one-time biker older than rocks and dirt is a bit shy on his feminine side. Thank you very much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
"Mother in law" should be "Mother-in-law". Well written poem of self-centeredness. Uses terms like "She's coming back, with Leroy's head" to better illustrate you done pissed off the wrong person with the ridiculous manner in which he did everything else.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
"Mother in law" should be "Mother-in-law". Well written poem of self-centeredness. Uses terms like "She's coming back, with Leroy's head" to better illustrate you done pissed off the wrong person with the ridiculous manner in which he did everything else.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Thanks for reading and reviewing and the tip.
Comment from Dean Kuch
"He's hung like a hoss, tough as Hell"....I felt the syntax threw this line off a bit for me, Red. Please consider;
Hung like a hoss, he's tough as Hell...
I guess dear Momma was a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator films. She really meant it when she said, "I'll be back..."
Nice work, and thanks for the contribution.
With gratitude
~Dean ;}
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
"He's hung like a hoss, tough as Hell"....I felt the syntax threw this line off a bit for me, Red. Please consider;
Hung like a hoss, he's tough as Hell...
I guess dear Momma was a fan of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator films. She really meant it when she said, "I'll be back..."
Nice work, and thanks for the contribution.
With gratitude
~Dean ;}
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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You know me, shooting from the lip. I do believe you're right. Hey, my pleasure, just hope my bilgewater don't sink your boat.
Thanks for reviewing.
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Well, the boats still afloat, Red, so I guess we're good.
Thanks again.
~Dean
Comment from papa55mike
I love the way you wrote this poem. It sounds like you just came from the Juke-Joint. Back to a time when life and death decisions happened every minute.
I wish I had a six for you. Have a great Sunday and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
I love the way you wrote this poem. It sounds like you just came from the Juke-Joint. Back to a time when life and death decisions happened every minute.
I wish I had a six for you. Have a great Sunday and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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We called 'em beer-joints in my youth. Had to speak fluent Barlowe to survive. Thanks much for reading and reviewing.
Comment from Irish Goat
Lyrical narrative poem with solid construction and couplet rhyming scheme within quatrain form. Nice description and tension builds throughout the piece. Well done.
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
Lyrical narrative poem with solid construction and couplet rhyming scheme within quatrain form. Nice description and tension builds throughout the piece. Well done.
Comment Written 08-Nov-2015
reply by the author on 08-Nov-2015
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Thank you very much for reading, reviewing, and the compliment.