Reviews from

Shifting Shadows. Poems of Darkness

Viewing comments for Chapter 10031 "The Devil's Ooze"
A collection of dark poetry

42 total reviews 
Comment from ronnie k
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Amen and AMEN, exception rhyme, exceptional write exception WORD, my friend and mentor I have read an reviewed so many of your poem never saying this is the best but tonight I say This Is The BEST, glory

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you Ronnie. I'm honored wiht your great rating and review

    Gert
Comment from Dom G Robles
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This poem is short but meaningful. It depicts Satan's design for evil. The rhyme and rhythm are bright and clean. The words are excellent; the picture accompanying portrays the theme of the poem pretty well. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you very much Dom G Robles
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I don't normally read horror and thriller genre because I find it a bit scary, but yours wasn't too scary! Good descriptions of these evil souls. Good use of rhyming and imagery. faye

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you very much Nosha17

    Gert
Comment from seaglass
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

It's the dark and scary season. Your poem is filling the bill. Gruesome picture and verbal imagery. The sores of nightmares to me sure,

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Hi Les (right)

    Thank you.

    Gert
reply by seaglass on 26-Oct-2015
    It's me Seaglass. (smile)
Comment from mountainwriter49
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Good Afternoon, Gert,

Dark poetry? I believe this is a first for you. :)

You've developed your story well in the poem. It gave me a chill as I was reading it. I admire your rhyme pattern of true and proximate rhymes: sore/floor; and soles/soul.

I think some editing with punctuation and a tweak or two with words might be helpful. May I offer the following suggestions for your consideration? Also, the rhyme pattern is disrupted by the first line of the closing couplet. I would suggest considering making the couplet one line in order to avoid the break in rhyme pattern.

There is a festered sore
it [that] lurks below Earth's floor[.]
it [It] oozes through the soles
of our shoes to steal our soul
[and] below the gloom of night;[,]
and [delete and] drains [draining] all shafts of light[.]

His evil plan [plan's] desire [is] to overpower all;
his satanic sore anchors all who cry,
he listens not for appalling gall,

[Beware 'cause his] Infested sinister ways never die.

A good read Gert!
-Ray

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you Ray I will definitely look into your suggestions and let you know when I have them all edited.

    Smiles

    Gert
Comment from OnyxSapphire78
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Gert, this is excellent. Different than what I have read from you previously. You are very versatile. The description oozed of a devilish storm brewing each and every day. In our society now it seems that good is bad, but bad is accepted and encouraged. The artwork is disturbing as should be the message to people who are seeing with their eyes open. Fear can be good.

Thank you for sharing. God Bless!

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you very much OnyxSapphire78

    Gert
Comment from rspoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well, this was certainly a change of pace
but most appropriate for Shifting Shadows, Poems of Darkness
For dark it is
with picture to match
Make sure you don't put this one in Fun Stuff by mistake
That devil is a slippery one
Excellent image of ooze coming up through your soles
Good juxtaposition of the two words soles/souls
Ugly picture to match your excellent poem

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you so much rspet I had to smile when you said--

    Make sure you don't put this one in Fun Stuff by mistake
    That devil is a slippery one . love your review.

    Gert
Comment from ellie6
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

What a grim poem, and an equally grim illustration to match it. Who is this evil monster that lurks waiting to destroy us ? What can we do about it ?

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you ellie
    Like your question.

    Gert
Comment from Kingsland
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This poem is rather ugly in content, but very well written and presented. I enjoyed reading the imagery you found to enhance the thoughts in this verse. This was a well written and somewhat demonic piece of poetic art... John

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Hi John so nice of you to drop by and give your thoughts on the ugly evil that tempts us each day.

    Gert
Comment from TPAC
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Truth. Writer arrow shot striking me in heart with realistic conveyances and warning unto non-believers to at least turn. Super job.

 Comment Written 26-Oct-2015


reply by the author on 26-Oct-2015
    Thank you very much TPAC
    for your comments and the six rating
    How nice.

    Gert