The Conjurer, Part Four
A nest of spies35 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
Morales wasn't thinking very straight if he got drunk. He's going to need all his wits about him when it comes to dealing with Pasquale. Morales seems to be a very self-contained person who doesn't have need of anyone else. As he tells Elise, for instance, they could never be forever. Excellent atmosphere with the restaurant scene. The concierge offers a very sound warning when the men come to take him to Pasquale. Of course Morales won't listen. He has too much invested in this contest with Pasquale. Great story. Reading very smoothly. judi
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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Morales wasn't thinking very straight if he got drunk. He's going to need all his wits about him when it comes to dealing with Pasquale. Morales seems to be a very self-contained person who doesn't have need of anyone else. As he tells Elise, for instance, they could never be forever. Excellent atmosphere with the restaurant scene. The concierge offers a very sound warning when the men come to take him to Pasquale. Of course Morales won't listen. He has too much invested in this contest with Pasquale. Great story. Reading very smoothly. judi
Comment Written 30-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 30-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much, Judi. I appreciate your encouragement and support very much!
:) Bev
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You're welcome. You have a great story going. judi
Comment from wordspinner314
This is superb! The attention to detail is undeniable, from the well-written dinner to the descriptive atmosphere, readers are not denied. There is also a great balance of tension with your main character. Kudos!
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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This is superb! The attention to detail is undeniable, from the well-written dinner to the descriptive atmosphere, readers are not denied. There is also a great balance of tension with your main character. Kudos!
Comment Written 29-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Hi, wordspinner. Love your name BTW.
Thanks this most generous and encouraging review. Glad you liked the post.
:) Bev
Comment from IndianaIrish
Such great descriptions in Part Four, Bev. It was easy to picture everything due to your excellent details. A great hook with The warning he received from the concierge. I'm enjoying this story very much.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Such great descriptions in Part Four, Bev. It was easy to picture everything due to your excellent details. A great hook with The warning he received from the concierge. I'm enjoying this story very much.
Smiles,
Karyn :-)
Comment Written 29-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much, Karyn. I really appreciate your encouragement--glad you're liking the story.
:) Bev
Comment from Dean Kuch
I'll tell ya, Bev, if I received rude service at ANY restaurant like Doctor Morales experienced, I'd have to be very hungry to remain there, or very stupid. So, I'm just assuming Senor Morlaes was very hungry, heh-heh.
"Also, the sounds coming from my bowels were rising in pitch and frequency."---Yeah, a frequent diarrheic dilemma for tourists visiting Mexico...constant bowel calamities! Just don't drink the water, Dr. Morales...whatever<./I> you do!
Well, Stephano should have known that any self-respecting woman worth her own salt will snoop though your medicine cabinet(s) when given the opportunity to do so unchaperoned. That's what gals do, and most likely a lot of men, too. It's just one of those quirky things that piques a person's curious nature, I suppose. Personally I could care less what they've got in their medicine cabinets. It's what is in their 'fridge that interests me the most. You can learn a lot more about what makes somebody tick by looking at the foods they like to eat, more so than what sorts of medicines they're taking.
"..., like two hands on a clock inexorably linked to the cycles of time, we fell back into our old relationship pattern."---Good use of metaphor here, Bev. I could easily see the correlation...
I'd like to reach in and shake the life out of Stephano Morales, Bev. I'd like to tell him to his face, 'Oh, he's so much more than a narcissist, bright boy.
A whole LOT more...
Another fantastic chapter, Bev. I'm just sorry I don't have any sixes left to award you for your efforts.
Let's just say, I owe you one...
Another taught, suspenseful and entertaining chapter, Bev. I enjoyed it!
Always with respect
~Dean :}
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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I'll tell ya, Bev, if I received rude service at ANY restaurant like Doctor Morales experienced, I'd have to be very hungry to remain there, or very stupid. So, I'm just assuming Senor Morlaes was very hungry, heh-heh.
"Also, the sounds coming from my bowels were rising in pitch and frequency."---Yeah, a frequent diarrheic dilemma for tourists visiting Mexico...constant bowel calamities! Just don't drink the water, Dr. Morales...whatever<./I> you do!
Well, Stephano should have known that any self-respecting woman worth her own salt will snoop though your medicine cabinet(s) when given the opportunity to do so unchaperoned. That's what gals do, and most likely a lot of men, too. It's just one of those quirky things that piques a person's curious nature, I suppose. Personally I could care less what they've got in their medicine cabinets. It's what is in their 'fridge that interests me the most. You can learn a lot more about what makes somebody tick by looking at the foods they like to eat, more so than what sorts of medicines they're taking.
"..., like two hands on a clock inexorably linked to the cycles of time, we fell back into our old relationship pattern."---Good use of metaphor here, Bev. I could easily see the correlation...
I'd like to reach in and shake the life out of Stephano Morales, Bev. I'd like to tell him to his face, 'Oh, he's so much more than a narcissist, bright boy.
A whole LOT more...
Another fantastic chapter, Bev. I'm just sorry I don't have any sixes left to award you for your efforts.
Let's just say, I owe you one...
Another taught, suspenseful and entertaining chapter, Bev. I enjoyed it!
Always with respect
~Dean :}
Comment Written 29-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
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Thanks, Dean for the most entertaining review I've received on this chapter. You're on to something with that fridge bit. I totally agree that what people eat tells me a lot of things, like not letting THEM decide where we have lunch.
I really appreciate you sticking by this story. That means as much to me as an extra start, which by the way, you don't owe me. The insights beneath the humor are very helpful.
:) Bev
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You're very welcome, Bev. You would have had that additional star, no doubt. But I shot my wad (so to speak), using them all up by Tuesday! I review A LOT, and I just can't seem to hold onto my meager allotment. They are gone before I even realize it, most times.
I hate it when people tell me, "I would have given you a six, but..." You don't know whether they're blowing smoke up your ass, or being truthful. So, I usually try to refrain from telling others the same thing.
Besides, sixes are not what you nor I write for. We write because we love the written word, and we want to entertain others, if possible.
You're very welcome for the review, my friend. Have a blessed day!
With respect and admiration
~Dean ;)
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Hahaha...
I, too, wonder about the truth of those kinds of remarks. It seems we just naturally have suspicious minds, Dean. That's why we gravitate to the genre we do, in my opinion.
You are right on about the writing for help and not stars. I've been getting some very good insights with this story. Things I wouldn't have thought of on my own. So, that's what makes FanStory so worth my while.
I'll be thinking of you on Halloween, Dean, and wondering what unique ways you will have to scare the crap out of your tricksters.
:) Bev
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Oh, I'll be lurking in the more shadowy places on Halloween, as always, Bev. Heh-heh-heh... ;}
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As I suspected. You haven't learned to shape shift have you?! 'Cause I'd be watching my back if you did, Dean.
:))
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Mebee... mebee not, LOL...
Hee-hee...
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Whoo boy...
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi, Bev.
Wow, this is excellent! Your creative build of character is amazing. Not only did you create a great scene in the restaurant and hotel, but the inner thoughts of Stefano. What a great way you've weaved in a window of his backstory, his relationship with Elise and even his medication that suggests much more about him without detailing his ailments. Excellent chapter!!
Bye, my friend.
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
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Hi, Bev.
Wow, this is excellent! Your creative build of character is amazing. Not only did you create a great scene in the restaurant and hotel, but the inner thoughts of Stefano. What a great way you've weaved in a window of his backstory, his relationship with Elise and even his medication that suggests much more about him without detailing his ailments. Excellent chapter!!
Bye, my friend.
Hugs
Rosalyne :)
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
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Hi, Rosalyne. Thank you so much for taking the time to review my post. I know you've been super busy, so it really means a lot to me that you did that. Great to get your insights--hope I can keep the good momentum going!
I really appreciate, also, your generosity. It's great to have your support on this project.
See you in about an hour!
Hugs, Bev
Comment from Pearl Edwards
An interesting chapter, has us wondering was there something in the coffee or just too much tequila. Like his optimism at the end of the chapter - make him sorry he ever messed with this hombre - a great read.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
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An interesting chapter, has us wondering was there something in the coffee or just too much tequila. Like his optimism at the end of the chapter - make him sorry he ever messed with this hombre - a great read.
Comment Written 28-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
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Thank you very much, Pearl. I appreciate you following my story and your great insights!
:) Bev
Comment from w.j.debi
An excellent opening line, full of sensory appeal. It is a great hook.
Excellent descriptions of characters and places, such as:
He had a salt and pepper beard and eyebrows desperate to be tamed, and he held my gaze in the manner of a collector studying an acquisition.
Mr. Morales is putting himself in quite a position. There are plenty of warnings that he is out of his depth, but he seems set on his plan and certain he can take care of anything. There are a few chinks in his armor, though I am not sure he realizes it. He is, however, admitting to some doubts and fears.
Great flashback to help us know more about the main character.
I look forward to the next chapter, Bev. You are building an incredible story.
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
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An excellent opening line, full of sensory appeal. It is a great hook.
Excellent descriptions of characters and places, such as:
He had a salt and pepper beard and eyebrows desperate to be tamed, and he held my gaze in the manner of a collector studying an acquisition.
Mr. Morales is putting himself in quite a position. There are plenty of warnings that he is out of his depth, but he seems set on his plan and certain he can take care of anything. There are a few chinks in his armor, though I am not sure he realizes it. He is, however, admitting to some doubts and fears.
Great flashback to help us know more about the main character.
I look forward to the next chapter, Bev. You are building an incredible story.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 28-Oct-2015
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Hi, Debi. Thank you so much for your insights on this post. I wasn't sure about the amount of flashback included. I had some help from reviewers in making the transitions a bit less confusing. Writing backstory is not for the faint of heart! Well, you know that as well as I do LoL.
So glad you're able to follow along, my friend. And I appreciate your extreme generosity.
:) Bev
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I am enjoying the story and excellent writing
Comment from Adri7enne
"In the process of turning back to study the menu, my eyes connected with one of the men. His suit appeared perfectly tailored down to the triangle of silk in his breast pocket. He had a salt and pepper beard and eyebrows desperate to be tamed, and he held my gaze in the manner of a collector studying an acquisition. Though it lasted but seconds, the encounter left me shaken." Damn, that's fine writing! Smooth as glass, Bev.
"Emerging from the bathroom (I) spied my laptop open." You need (I) to make this a complete sentence.
I'm trying to get a handle on Morales. He's a slippery kind of character. On the one hand, he feels totally capable of handling a big time scary guy, but he's hooked on Xanax. I haven't quite got his measure yet, but he sure is an intriguing character. Terrific writing, Bev. Can't wait for the next revelation.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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"In the process of turning back to study the menu, my eyes connected with one of the men. His suit appeared perfectly tailored down to the triangle of silk in his breast pocket. He had a salt and pepper beard and eyebrows desperate to be tamed, and he held my gaze in the manner of a collector studying an acquisition. Though it lasted but seconds, the encounter left me shaken." Damn, that's fine writing! Smooth as glass, Bev.
"Emerging from the bathroom (I) spied my laptop open." You need (I) to make this a complete sentence.
I'm trying to get a handle on Morales. He's a slippery kind of character. On the one hand, he feels totally capable of handling a big time scary guy, but he's hooked on Xanax. I haven't quite got his measure yet, but he sure is an intriguing character. Terrific writing, Bev. Can't wait for the next revelation.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Hi, Adrienne
Thank you very much for this wonderful review. I like your insights on Morales. You've got him pegged--for now, anyway.
It's great to know you're liking this story and wanting to read more. That makes me pretty happy. The six stars is icing on the cake, which I do appreciate.
Will make the correction pronto and thanks for the sharp eye.
:) Bev
Comment from JW
Thanks for sharing this well-written chapter. You definitely did a great job in leaving the reader in suspense in regards to what is going to happen next?
Was the warning given a good one - it's yet to be seen.
Please have a great day, Bev. JW
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Thanks for sharing this well-written chapter. You definitely did a great job in leaving the reader in suspense in regards to what is going to happen next?
Was the warning given a good one - it's yet to be seen.
Please have a great day, Bev. JW
Comment Written 27-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Hi, JW. Thanks for the great review. I appreciate you sticking with me for this rather weird little tale. You have a great day, too.
:0) Bev
Comment from Aussie
Wonderfully descriptive as usual. You sure have the ability to create the atmosphere; to draw the reader in and keep us there in the restaurant (for one place.) Never eaten a spicy peanut mole...they live underground, don't they? LOL. Love the words "it was the last oar in the boat." Not showering and having bowel problems, this is indicative of the dark side causing altered state of being on planet earth and in control. What is Xanax? You are putting your readers on edge and we are waiting for the dreaded Pasquale! Excellent XX
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Wonderfully descriptive as usual. You sure have the ability to create the atmosphere; to draw the reader in and keep us there in the restaurant (for one place.) Never eaten a spicy peanut mole...they live underground, don't they? LOL. Love the words "it was the last oar in the boat." Not showering and having bowel problems, this is indicative of the dark side causing altered state of being on planet earth and in control. What is Xanax? You are putting your readers on edge and we are waiting for the dreaded Pasquale! Excellent XX
Comment Written 27-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2015
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Hi, Kay. Thanks for the grand review. You make a very good point about how the body tries to fight the mind by making it sick so that it will change paths. And I was remiss in not mentioning the Xanax in my author's notes. It's an anti-anxiety medication.
So, thanks for asking--I'll add it into the notes.
I really appreciate your support and encouragement, my friend.
XX Bev
