Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 46 "Promises"Dawn of Chaos
26 total reviews
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The work reminisces a union between two personalities that appears not to be working well.
The work highlights the prevalence of inconsistencies within the union despite the fact that the union was ordained by the divine.
The work earns its texture through the use of metaphor and imagery.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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The work reminisces a union between two personalities that appears not to be working well.
The work highlights the prevalence of inconsistencies within the union despite the fact that the union was ordained by the divine.
The work earns its texture through the use of metaphor and imagery.
Excellent work! Keep the flag flying!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Correction, what a review, like being under a magnifying glass, everything made large. Glad aspects of this write was pleasing. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching words.
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Remain Blessed!
Comment from Sis Cat
Yes, God's pact is the destruction of hell.
I passed your poem up twice before deciding to read it, and I am not disappointed. I read it out loud, feeling the odd words searching for meaning and understanding. You cover a lot of ground in a poem that feels modern and fresh. Your poem focuses on different types of promises, from those made to workers to those made to spouses to those we make to ourselves, and how lies disrupt our better natures:
Dreams to success all an unseen lie,
in a glass seen shiny to merely die,
left outside a scattered hope no pie.
The one promise that will stand is the one you make at the end of your poem:
God act is to end, promises upon us,
His pact is the destruction of hell.
I grasped our poem and the argument you were making on my third read.
Balanced tercets. You need an apostrophe here: it(')s to be a potential,
My only advice is to read your poem aloud when you write and revise. Yours sounds odd as if written in the head with little attention to how it sounds in the ear or feels on the tongue.
Nevertheless, it is provocative and fresh. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Yes, God's pact is the destruction of hell.
I passed your poem up twice before deciding to read it, and I am not disappointed. I read it out loud, feeling the odd words searching for meaning and understanding. You cover a lot of ground in a poem that feels modern and fresh. Your poem focuses on different types of promises, from those made to workers to those made to spouses to those we make to ourselves, and how lies disrupt our better natures:
Dreams to success all an unseen lie,
in a glass seen shiny to merely die,
left outside a scattered hope no pie.
The one promise that will stand is the one you make at the end of your poem:
God act is to end, promises upon us,
His pact is the destruction of hell.
I grasped our poem and the argument you were making on my third read.
Balanced tercets. You need an apostrophe here: it(')s to be a potential,
My only advice is to read your poem aloud when you write and revise. Yours sounds odd as if written in the head with little attention to how it sounds in the ear or feels on the tongue.
Nevertheless, it is provocative and fresh. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Good shout. I will take in your views and condensation about this write. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
Comment from NaughtieScribe
Back stabbed by bin corruptions,
rip by Ripper, with evil grins and bled,
name of the killer is not gin but Sam.
This passage made the work sing for me. I love the sentiment of this work, especially that you don't allow the reader to feel safe and comfy. Horrors, evil, wars are all front and center, the baser acts of man.
I found this work very deep and engaging. Well done.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Back stabbed by bin corruptions,
rip by Ripper, with evil grins and bled,
name of the killer is not gin but Sam.
This passage made the work sing for me. I love the sentiment of this work, especially that you don't allow the reader to feel safe and comfy. Horrors, evil, wars are all front and center, the baser acts of man.
I found this work very deep and engaging. Well done.
Comment Written 23-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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I give my praises to you, seeing the creative side, ignoring the pits in write. Thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from Harry Smith
The picture selection is great. The poem is written in an outstanding manner and I really enjoyed reading it more than once. It is deep and I got it!
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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The picture selection is great. The poem is written in an outstanding manner and I really enjoyed reading it more than once. It is deep and I got it!
Comment Written 23-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2018
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Glad this write made a tingle, revision might improve its structuring. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching words.
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You are welcome
Comment from George Jr
Another great piece or work TPAC. Filled with the underlined truths of what is. A lot of good lives in there to be considered. "above to say be second husband" powerful in context. Thank you
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Another great piece or work TPAC. Filled with the underlined truths of what is. A lot of good lives in there to be considered. "above to say be second husband" powerful in context. Thank you
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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I've been pound out about my writes, at least you're seeing the softer side. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
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Your welcome TPAC. I think it's nice to get feedback on our work and worth what little time it takes ;-) Take the good out of those poundings and leave the rest ;-)
Comment from Liberty Justice
So right, you are, that many times people make promises and do not keep these goals. I am speaking in general, and am not talking about anyone specific. Of course, frustrations and anger abound when the people or any individual has hope for better circumstances that are not fulfilled. After contest, type in your name in replies. NICELY WRITTEN. liberty justice
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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So right, you are, that many times people make promises and do not keep these goals. I am speaking in general, and am not talking about anyone specific. Of course, frustrations and anger abound when the people or any individual has hope for better circumstances that are not fulfilled. After contest, type in your name in replies. NICELY WRITTEN. liberty justice
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Glad aspects presented in this work was pleasing, wonderful response. Thanking you for your generous rate and touching views.
Comment from apky
Bravo!
You are so right about what is going wrong with humans and the world they live in. How they are their own destruction, including the destruction of their home planet.
Rights for services, if you fight a war,
behind bars by them that not fight,
I wonder how much had far not free?
I promise a fact its to be a potential,
God act is to end promises upon us,
His pact is the destruction of hell.
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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Bravo!
You are so right about what is going wrong with humans and the world they live in. How they are their own destruction, including the destruction of their home planet.
Rights for services, if you fight a war,
behind bars by them that not fight,
I wonder how much had far not free?
I promise a fact its to be a potential,
God act is to end promises upon us,
His pact is the destruction of hell.
Comment Written 18-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 18-Feb-2018
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These words excited you about this write, glad certain features contained were found pleasing in your opinion. Thanking you for your generous rate and comforting comments.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This speaks what man promises mostly fails to perform or do at the end, not necessarily one is punished for the same, God does keep promises; well said, well done. KEEP WRITING, TIP CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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This speaks what man promises mostly fails to perform or do at the end, not necessarily one is punished for the same, God does keep promises; well said, well done. KEEP WRITING, TIP CHANGING. DR ALCREATOR
Comment Written 15-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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I had fun composing this write, hopefully escaping the difficulties in my expression. Thanking you for your generous rate and splendid views.
Comment from beizanten
beautiful picture and well written beginning stanza. A well written second stanza. A pretty dark and well written third paragraph. Overall great poetry
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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beautiful picture and well written beginning stanza. A well written second stanza. A pretty dark and well written third paragraph. Overall great poetry
Comment Written 15-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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Each of these lines held interests in your opinion, I wish your views were so. Thanking you for your generous rate and comforting comments
Comment from Gloria ....
I can't say I've understood everything you've written TPAC, but images do rise to the foreground with clarity. Items paid by low workmen dollars, like the days of slavery is it really any different now?
A most interesting poem. :)
Gloria
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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I can't say I've understood everything you've written TPAC, but images do rise to the foreground with clarity. Items paid by low workmen dollars, like the days of slavery is it really any different now?
A most interesting poem. :)
Gloria
Comment Written 14-Feb-2018
reply by the author on 15-Feb-2018
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We are all slaves, why God created heavens. Yet, if change isn't considered what lost of being shall we suffer. I will see if I can strengthen those dark pits to glow. Thanking you for your generous rate and honest response.
