Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 320 "Dinner Cruise"Small and Specialty Poems
12 total reviews
Comment from ravenblack
Excellent use of the form and I am glad that you enjoyed such a terrific meal while rolling down the Mississippi. Me? Unfortunately, motion sickness , well, it would be an entirely different poem.
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2015
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Excellent use of the form and I am glad that you enjoyed such a terrific meal while rolling down the Mississippi. Me? Unfortunately, motion sickness , well, it would be an entirely different poem.
Comment Written 22-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2015
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Thank you ravenblack. That's unfortunate. Indeed it would.
Comment from twinklepoems
I always enjoy how you can make a poem using many different forms of poetry. I wish I lived where the leaves turned and could go on a dinner cruise! Of course your rhyming and flow were excellent and it sounds like you had fun!
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2015
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I always enjoy how you can make a poem using many different forms of poetry. I wish I lived where the leaves turned and could go on a dinner cruise! Of course your rhyming and flow were excellent and it sounds like you had fun!
Comment Written 22-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2015
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Thank you twinklepoems. I appreciate your wonderful comments.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
This is an excellent poem following the Rondeau form perfectly I believe. The figurative language is good and the rhyming is excellent. The rhyme scheme follows the form requirements. "Replete with elegance inside" is a fresh metaphor I think. "Ranks first among our fervent wishes" seems to me to a bit overblown unless you lost a lot at the casino. Rondeau Quatrain is misspelled in the description.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2015
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Hi, Treischel,
This is an excellent poem following the Rondeau form perfectly I believe. The figurative language is good and the rhyming is excellent. The rhyme scheme follows the form requirements. "Replete with elegance inside" is a fresh metaphor I think. "Ranks first among our fervent wishes" seems to me to a bit overblown unless you lost a lot at the casino. Rondeau Quatrain is misspelled in the description.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 22-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 22-Oct-2015
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Thank you Preston, actually I did lose too much at the Casino, but that's another story.
Comment from Joan E.
What a festive photograph inside the floating dinning room! I enjoyed your echoing two rhymes and your repeats. Yes, I am enticed by the Mississippi River cruise. Cheers- Joan
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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What a festive photograph inside the floating dinning room! I enjoyed your echoing two rhymes and your repeats. Yes, I am enticed by the Mississippi River cruise. Cheers- Joan
Comment Written 21-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Ethan's you Joan. That would be areal Mark Twain experience.
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Yes, I was thinking just that--a Mark Twain adventure! -J
Comment from robyn corum
1.) (Replete?) with elegance inside (x3)
A very nice picture is created here, Tom. Having had the opportunity to take a few riverboat dinner cruises, I have to agree with you! There's something magical about it! Thanks for sharing!
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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1.) (Replete?) with elegance inside (x3)
A very nice picture is created here, Tom. Having had the opportunity to take a few riverboat dinner cruises, I have to agree with you! There's something magical about it! Thanks for sharing!
Comment Written 21-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Thank you Robyn. Thought had fixed that myself. Apperciate the notice.
Comment from Pantygynt
Well FS seem to have blown themselves up but I left this open on your poem this morning so at least I can review it as long as I don't save it until everything is working again.
It is apparently working so i'll finish this off and bank it. Here's another style i haven't seen before. I think there must be some french ancestry in you as well as the German or were your people from one of those long disputed areas like Alsace.
Anyway this rolls along nicely just like the old Mississip. can't wait to see if this is going to work now.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Well FS seem to have blown themselves up but I left this open on your poem this morning so at least I can review it as long as I don't save it until everything is working again.
It is apparently working so i'll finish this off and bank it. Here's another style i haven't seen before. I think there must be some french ancestry in you as well as the German or were your people from one of those long disputed areas like Alsace.
Anyway this rolls along nicely just like the old Mississip. can't wait to see if this is going to work now.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt. Mine came from Bavaria and Sweden.
Comment from Sis Cat
This is a well-structured and rhymed poem about your dinner cruise on the Mississippi. Your poem flows like the river itself and I enjoy the repetition of lines, adding rhythm and continuity. Your poem captured that experience like a post card. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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This is a well-structured and rhymed poem about your dinner cruise on the Mississippi. Your poem flows like the river itself and I enjoy the repetition of lines, adding rhythm and continuity. Your poem captured that experience like a post card. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Thank you Sis Cat.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Tom, this really is a superb Rondeau Quatrain, it has excellent structure and is beautifully written, great rhyming scheme and a rhythm and flow as good as the Mississippi itself, a wonderful poem my friend.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Hi Tom, this really is a superb Rondeau Quatrain, it has excellent structure and is beautifully written, great rhyming scheme and a rhythm and flow as good as the Mississippi itself, a wonderful poem my friend.
Comment Written 21-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Thanks so much Eric.
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You are very welcome my friend.
Comment from artemis53
What a great picture of your wonderful journey and the amenities that were included. I am so glad you enjoyed yourselves.
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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What a great picture of your wonderful journey and the amenities that were included. I am so glad you enjoyed yourselves.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 21-Oct-2015
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Thank you Artemis.
Comment from trimple
Hello there, Tom
Wow! You lucky bugger! This boat trip must have been wonderful.
I keep threatening to try some of your examples of poetry, especially this one. The 'Rondeau'
Hope you don't mind but I would like to bookmark this one.
A lovely picture, Tom. I hope you guys had a great time...
A new word for me... 'Repleat'
A very enjoyable read.
Trimple :)
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reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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Hello there, Tom
Wow! You lucky bugger! This boat trip must have been wonderful.
I keep threatening to try some of your examples of poetry, especially this one. The 'Rondeau'
Hope you don't mind but I would like to bookmark this one.
A lovely picture, Tom. I hope you guys had a great time...
A new word for me... 'Repleat'
A very enjoyable read.
Trimple :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 20-Oct-2015
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Thank you Trimple. Yes, please do. I am honored.
