Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 324 "River Bluffs"Small and Specialty Poems
9 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
I just love this wonderful poem and I'd love to have exactly that view... from a boat on the water. :)
I'd love to see it in Autumn splendor! Lovely...
a beautifully written Rondeau Cinquain Well done Tom
Cat
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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I just love this wonderful poem and I'd love to have exactly that view... from a boat on the water. :)
I'd love to see it in Autumn splendor! Lovely...
a beautifully written Rondeau Cinquain Well done Tom
Cat
Comment Written 14-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2015
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Thank you Cat. If the leaves don't get all blown off this week, maybe I'll get that shit next Sunday on the river cruise.
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
"River Bluffs" is a truly excellent poem in a difficult form which is followed very well. The rhyming and structure are excellent. The figurative language is very good eg "bluffs are cloaked in trees. In "Some sights are emotions seize" the "are" seems to be a mistake.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015
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Hi, Treischel,
"River Bluffs" is a truly excellent poem in a difficult form which is followed very well. The rhyming and structure are excellent. The figurative language is very good eg "bluffs are cloaked in trees. In "Some sights are emotions seize" the "are" seems to be a mistake.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 14-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 14-Oct-2015
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Thank you Preston. The line is: Such sights are some emotions seize. If you replaced the "some" with "those", it would read - Such sights are those emotions seize. But then I'd lose the alliteration. Or, I could have said - Such sights are some (that) emotions seize, but then I'd lose the meter. The line is exactly as I intended, although several people have had trouble with it.
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O;K.
Poets have hard word choices to make.
Comment from artemis53
Honestly. Your talent with these poems amazes me. I think you have some obscure gene for it. So beautifully done!!! I thank you for the presentation.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Honestly. Your talent with these poems amazes me. I think you have some obscure gene for it. So beautifully done!!! I thank you for the presentation.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you Artemis. High praise indeed.
Comment from tfawcus
Quite a feat writing a poem of this length with only two rhymes without making it seem very artificial - although the repeats do help a bit! The rhyming isn't intrusive in yours, as it might well have been. There's a pleasant ambiance created by your repeating lines. They are well chosen. I wondered if there might have been a slip of the pen in this line: "Such sights are (with?) some emotions seize."
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Quite a feat writing a poem of this length with only two rhymes without making it seem very artificial - although the repeats do help a bit! The rhyming isn't intrusive in yours, as it might well have been. There's a pleasant ambiance created by your repeating lines. They are well chosen. I wondered if there might have been a slip of the pen in this line: "Such sights are (with?) some emotions seize."
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you so much tony. No that line is exactly as intended. I could have said - such sights are those emotions seize, but I went for the alliteration.
Comment from robyn corum
1.) Such sights are some emotions (seize).
--> this line I did not understand so well...?
Otherwise another lovely write!! I enjoyed!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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1.) Such sights are some emotions (seize).
--> this line I did not understand so well...?
Otherwise another lovely write!! I enjoyed!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you Robyn. Translated - these are sights that grab your emotions. Hmm, I guess that one doesn't follow the I before E rule.
Comment from Eric1
Hi Tom, you really are a prolific writer this week my friend, this is another beautiful and well written poem, I have never heard of this style before but doesn't it work well!
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Hi Tom, you really are a prolific writer this week my friend, this is another beautiful and well written poem, I have never heard of this style before but doesn't it work well!
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you Eric. I do indeed like how it turned out.
Comment from Pantygynt
And you've done it again. One of my teachers used to make a sarcastic comment from time to time: "You are so sharp that one of these days, you'll cut yourself!" But you haven't drawn blood yet. Nice one, Tom.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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And you've done it again. One of my teachers used to make a sarcastic comment from time to time: "You are so sharp that one of these days, you'll cut yourself!" But you haven't drawn blood yet. Nice one, Tom.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt, great one. I'll have to remember that line.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Good flowing poem, can almost hear a tune in my head while reading it. Good subject chosen. The photo is excellent and the background information bring life to the words of the poem.
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Good flowing poem, can almost hear a tune in my head while reading it. Good subject chosen. The photo is excellent and the background information bring life to the words of the poem.
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you very much Sandra. How delightful.
Comment from Selina Stambi
You know, Tom, when I read your lovely poetry I keep meaning to ask - and forget - did you woo your wife with sonnets and such? :)
Spot on metre and rhyme. There's never any doubt about that. Lovely splashes of alliteration - the Treischel signature!
Sonali
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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You know, Tom, when I read your lovely poetry I keep meaning to ask - and forget - did you woo your wife with sonnets and such? :)
Spot on metre and rhyme. There's never any doubt about that. Lovely splashes of alliteration - the Treischel signature!
Sonali
Comment Written 13-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 13-Oct-2015
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Thank you Sonali. Not I didn't, but it did't hurt.
