Family
Viewing comments for Chapter 118 "A New Addition"Personal poems
11 total reviews
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Treischel,
" A New Addition" is an excellent poem in the complicated form of an Octogram. It has excellent rhyme and meter. It has good figurative language (ears that jog the air like pointed angels' wings) Although repetition may be required repeating "the cutest dog" sounds to me like you are trying to find it a new home, Although You say that with this breed of dog you get a dialog all this poem gives is a mono log without any indication of another persons response. In my opinion these putative defects keep this poem from being truly superior.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2015
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Hi, Treischel,
" A New Addition" is an excellent poem in the complicated form of an Octogram. It has excellent rhyme and meter. It has good figurative language (ears that jog the air like pointed angels' wings) Although repetition may be required repeating "the cutest dog" sounds to me like you are trying to find it a new home, Although You say that with this breed of dog you get a dialog all this poem gives is a mono log without any indication of another persons response. In my opinion these putative defects keep this poem from being truly superior.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston
Comment Written 11-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 11-Oct-2015
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Thank you Preston. You make some valid points.
Comment from rod007
What a great looking dog---this poem celebrates her beauty. I'm sure she'll light and brighten you and your family's life with joy. I hope that she doesn't create too much mischief as some dogs are renowned for that. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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What a great looking dog---this poem celebrates her beauty. I'm sure she'll light and brighten you and your family's life with joy. I hope that she doesn't create too much mischief as some dogs are renowned for that. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 10-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 10-Oct-2015
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Thank you Rod. She has a sweet disposition..
Comment from Pantygynt
It was the ears that first caught my attention. Angel wings, yes an apt description. An interesting form expecially if you want something repeating to hammer the point home.
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2015
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It was the ears that first caught my attention. Angel wings, yes an apt description. An interesting form expecially if you want something repeating to hammer the point home.
Comment Written 08-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 08-Oct-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt. Good point.
Comment from Joan E.
Thank you for sharing your family montage all with its new pet--who would not love those ears! I enjoyed your Octogram with is rhymes, repeats and "angel ears". Yes, cute and a half! Enjoy the pup- Joan
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
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Thank you for sharing your family montage all with its new pet--who would not love those ears! I enjoyed your Octogram with is rhymes, repeats and "angel ears". Yes, cute and a half! Enjoy the pup- Joan
Comment Written 07-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 07-Oct-2015
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Thank you Joan. She is a sweet and smart little thing.
Comment from ravenblack
Congratulations! Bindi is a cute little pup. Ears like angel wings and great rhyming with dog. Particularly agog. Our neighbors down the street have a miniature pincer- very sweet little dogs.
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Congratulations! Bindi is a cute little pup. Ears like angel wings and great rhyming with dog. Particularly agog. Our neighbors down the street have a miniature pincer- very sweet little dogs.
Comment Written 06-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you ravenblack. She is really sweet and smart too.
Comment from Selina Stambi
With ears that jog
The air like pointed angel wings ... delightful description. I could just picture them!
What a cutie. Welcome to the newest member of your family, Tom. Sharing the joy!
Sonali
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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With ears that jog
The air like pointed angel wings ... delightful description. I could just picture them!
What a cutie. Welcome to the newest member of your family, Tom. Sharing the joy!
Sonali
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 06-Oct-2015
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Thank you Sonali. She is a little sweetie.
Comment from I am Cat
Awwww.... my sister has one named Honey... she's a sweet (spoiled) member of the family.
She loves to sleep under the covers and take my mother by the finger when she wants her to get her a treat or take her outside. lol
Bindi is adorbs and you can just prepare to have your heart stolen.
;)
My little Yorkie, Sir Clyde, hates her. LOL (Honey)
;)
Congrats on an adorable new asset to the family AND an awesome octogram as well!
Cat
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Awwww.... my sister has one named Honey... she's a sweet (spoiled) member of the family.
She loves to sleep under the covers and take my mother by the finger when she wants her to get her a treat or take her outside. lol
Bindi is adorbs and you can just prepare to have your heart stolen.
;)
My little Yorkie, Sir Clyde, hates her. LOL (Honey)
;)
Congrats on an adorable new asset to the family AND an awesome octogram as well!
Cat
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you Cat. We already love her little personality.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
A very cute little dog. A little puppy to grow up with the children, is surely a little mate for ever. I love this poem form as well. I will try it definitely some time.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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A very cute little dog. A little puppy to grow up with the children, is surely a little mate for ever. I love this poem form as well. I will try it definitely some time.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you Sandra. Octograms our fabulous r formats that are fun to write and create lovely poems. Definitely try one.
Comment from robyn corum
THAT is NOT a dog.
Dear, dear, Tom. THAT is not even a puppy. It's a ...it's...a... chipmunk, maybe, but not a dog. You need glasses.
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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THAT is NOT a dog.
Dear, dear, Tom. THAT is not even a puppy. It's a ...it's...a... chipmunk, maybe, but not a dog. You need glasses.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you Robyn. Hah, I see the resemblance.
Comment from vigournet
Thank you for a warm-hearted poem about the new family dog. Clever use of the montage and use of words, keeping the Octogram. You have painted a great story, following the puppy's days with you.
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reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you for a warm-hearted poem about the new family dog. Clever use of the montage and use of words, keeping the Octogram. You have painted a great story, following the puppy's days with you.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Oct-2015
reply by the author on 05-Oct-2015
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Thank you vigournet.
