Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your free verse poem. I cannot speak to the format since I do not know it. But your word choices are great. When paired with the beautiful picture, it makes an amazing presentation that I enjoyed greatly.

Best wishes in the contest.

 Comment Written 12-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015

Thanks Jan for the lovely review I am so pleased you enjoyed it. Mary

Comment from Jumbo J

Excellent

Hi Mary,
what a tricky and intricate style of poetry... blank verse?

...And if this was your first outing with blank verse, then what a great job you have done... just one spot that kept gnawing as I read... the zealous glow and long ago rhyming... just thinking... 'phases that influenced so far removed' ? And possibly an extra space between gloomy clouds and your powers.

The repetition of your first and last line drove home the intent of the story interlaced within the poetry... I truly loved it... such rich and colourful use of language... and a beautiful presentation... all the very best in this contest!

With our thoughts we create,
the circle of history,
James vx's.

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015

Thanks James for the great review, I know it did rhyme, in one area, but I had read in the thread that it was Ok, but I agree blank verse should not. I am glad you enjoyed it. Mary

Comment from Joan E.

Excellent

I salute your stretching your wings to blank verse. I admired your title and its repeats plus the vivid imagery like the "misty veil". Best wishes in the contest- Joan

 Comment Written 10-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 10-Sep-2015

Thanks Joan for the excellent for review I really appreciate it. Mary

Comment from Finglas

Exceptional

My suggestion - keep em coming. I love the freedom you display in this poem. It's raw, real, no holds barred poetry -- a peep into the real Mary. Well done. I love this piece.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 09-Sep-2015

Hi Joe, I am so happy you enjoyed my blank verse, the first one I ever wrote, your exceptional rating is a great gift to recieve this Wednesday morning.

Comment from Tomes Johnston

Excellent

This is yet another interesting and beautiful poem about the moon from the author here. There have been many poems and other stories about the moon and it is a subject that we will never tire of hearing from.

 Comment Written 08-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015

Thanks Tomes for your lovely comments and excellent review. Mary

reply by Tomes Johnston on 09-Sep-2015

My pleasure

Comment from robyn corum

Excellent

safety is bestowed because of your tenacity
keeping us safe from high tides of the seas
--> though I enjoyed the alliteration in these lines, I might suggest finding a new word to replace one of the 'safes' since you've used it twice so closely together?

--> does 'Luna' need capitalization?

Otherwise, this was a sweet poem about the moon and it's worthy occupation!
Thanks for sharing!

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015

Thanks for your review and your helpful comments and advice, I have changed it to your suggestion. Mary

reply by robyn corum on 07-Sep-2015

I hope you changed it because you agreed?

I have upgraded the rating! *smile*

reply by the author on 08-Sep-2015

Yes I agreed and I was glad it was pointed out about the word safe as I missed that one. Thanks again. Mary

Comment from Nosha17

Excellent

I have no clue about blank verse, I am not too fond of it, I am a rhymer as you know! I don't mean to be offensive, Mary. The moon is a very important part of our lives, the Lunar calendar is bases on the moon's phases, as you wrote. Well chosen words and imagery and great picture. One thing, verse 2, our ancestors' calendar (more than one ancestor). Good luck in the contest. faye

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015

Thanks Faye for the excellent review, I appreciate your comments..Mary

Comment from krys123

Excellent

Mary;
-I will tell you right now that I am not a perfectionist on blank verse poetry. So I can help you with most of your writing is iambic pentameter. I do see that most of it is.
-The picture you have chosen is excellent and very relative, complementary and appropriate for the poem.
-The imagery is outstandingly appropriate and exquisitely expressive and vividly demonstratively and exponentially descriptive throughout your writing. And describes the next expresses the moon's character very well.
-Good luck in the contest and made the good Lord be with you always Mary.
Alex

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015

Thank you Alex for the very complimentary review on my blank verse I welcome, it as it is my first one to write I really appreciate your comments. Mary

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello Mary :)
You wrote a Beautiful blank verse for this contest. It is very mysterious and romantic. Luna is Spanish for moon :) Good job!

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015

Thanks Gypsy for the great comments and excellent review I really appreciate it. Mary

Comment from rspoet

Excellent

This is a fine descriptive poem
with excellent imagery and good meter
The main problem is with rhyme
blank verse has no end rhyme
Lines 4 and 7 - glow/ago
8 and 13 - free/seas
1 and 14 night/night
you might also have a problem with tenacity/sea

also no internal rhyme
line 7 so/ago
oh/gold are near rhymes, may or may not be a problem
The poem reads very well
great picture
Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 07-Sep-2015

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reply by the author on 07-Sep-2015

I read the thread and apparently it can have the odd rhyme, I am still learning about is so I really cannot say. I am pleased you said It had good meter. Thanks for your review, I appreciate it.

Mary