Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 318 "Bumble Bees"Small and Specialty Poems
16 total reviews
Comment from writeapoem
I thoroughly loved this poem. It rhymed well and told an interesting and educational story.
The Bumble Bees have always fascinated me. When I was a boy my momma rented a farmhouse and the farm owner was a bee-keeper and he would let us go to his bees and help him, then give us honey. I know the severity of the bee sting. My older sister was allergic and would swell up had to rush her to emergency rm. Had to move and I hated that for I knew I would miss the landlord bee-care. All the best
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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I thoroughly loved this poem. It rhymed well and told an interesting and educational story.
The Bumble Bees have always fascinated me. When I was a boy my momma rented a farmhouse and the farm owner was a bee-keeper and he would let us go to his bees and help him, then give us honey. I know the severity of the bee sting. My older sister was allergic and would swell up had to rush her to emergency rm. Had to move and I hated that for I knew I would miss the landlord bee-care. All the best
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Thank you writeapoem, for a wonderful review and sharing your story. I appreciate the encouragement and the award of six stars.
Comment from Patricia Dsouza
Your writing is remarkable and refined. I value the way you progress and flow throughout. You have remarkably brilliant skills.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Your writing is remarkable and refined. I value the way you progress and flow throughout. You have remarkably brilliant skills.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2015
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Thank you very much Oatricia.
Comment from Nelle Louise
Excellent poem and I enjoyed reading the history you added. I hope this gets a good rating for you. Good job. I look forward to reading more of your poems in the future. Nelle Louise
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2015
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Excellent poem and I enjoyed reading the history you added. I hope this gets a good rating for you. Good job. I look forward to reading more of your poems in the future. Nelle Louise
Comment Written 04-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2015
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Thank you Nellie. That would be great.
Comment from writer guy
I like this piece... The author has done an outstanding job with the format ... The
poem flows very naturally... The topic was well chosen... A real important topic
with regards to our existence... Watching bees can be mesmerizing,,, I especially
like the last line... Well done...
keep up the good work...
Writer Guy
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2015
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I like this piece... The author has done an outstanding job with the format ... The
poem flows very naturally... The topic was well chosen... A real important topic
with regards to our existence... Watching bees can be mesmerizing,,, I especially
like the last line... Well done...
keep up the good work...
Writer Guy
Comment Written 04-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 04-Sep-2015
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Thank you writer guy.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
Excellent sonnet Tom. You did a great job. I have never heard of this form either. My little three year old daughter picked up a bumblebee and it stung her hand. Her little arm swelled up completely to her shoulder. I had to call the Dr to see what to do for her. He sent a sedative so she would sleep and If I remember right I had to hold her hand in water with baking soda? I was so traumatized I don't want to remember. It was awfuL!Great poem. Nancy
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2015
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Excellent sonnet Tom. You did a great job. I have never heard of this form either. My little three year old daughter picked up a bumblebee and it stung her hand. Her little arm swelled up completely to her shoulder. I had to call the Dr to see what to do for her. He sent a sedative so she would sleep and If I remember right I had to hold her hand in water with baking soda? I was so traumatized I don't want to remember. It was awfuL!Great poem. Nancy
Comment Written 20-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 20-Aug-2015
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Thank you Nancy. That sounds like a very traumatic experience.
Comment from rod007
The rhyming scheme was brilliant especially having to ensure it is consistent. That says a lot about your mastery of language and vocabulary. Quite apart from that, the footnotes provide a great lesson on the nature of these large bumble bees. When I walk in the park today, I'd better watch out for the nests! Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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The rhyming scheme was brilliant especially having to ensure it is consistent. That says a lot about your mastery of language and vocabulary. Quite apart from that, the footnotes provide a great lesson on the nature of these large bumble bees. When I walk in the park today, I'd better watch out for the nests! Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 19-Aug-2015
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Thank you rod. Tried carefully.
Comment from Selina Stambi
What enchanted me most, Tom, was the mono-rhyme you maintained with such dexterity all through the poem.
Again ... both delightful and educational.
So, carefully watch these bees, if you please ... love this line
Sonali
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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What enchanted me most, Tom, was the mono-rhyme you maintained with such dexterity all through the poem.
Again ... both delightful and educational.
So, carefully watch these bees, if you please ... love this line
Sonali
Comment Written 18-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Thank you Sonali. I appreciate that you appreciate the difficulty of getting all the rhyme right.
Comment from Joan E.
Every time I think you've covered all the sonnet forms, you surprise us with another one. I'm glad you enjoyed the challenge of creating the entire poem in mono-rhyme. Thank you for all the details about the Bumble Bee--I'll be extra careful to stay away from their nests. But here's to their bolstering "our economies"--I salute your creative rhymes! -Joan
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Every time I think you've covered all the sonnet forms, you surprise us with another one. I'm glad you enjoyed the challenge of creating the entire poem in mono-rhyme. Thank you for all the details about the Bumble Bee--I'll be extra careful to stay away from their nests. But here's to their bolstering "our economies"--I salute your creative rhymes! -Joan
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 18-Aug-2015
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Thank you Joan for such an enthusiastic review.
Comment from Pantygynt
This is great stuff. Not only have you chosen some excellent tail end rhyme words but you have managed to weave some of the same rhymes internally as well. The construction is neatly compartmentalised. The physical description and characteristics are kept in the octave, the danger from the sting contained entirely in the quatrain and the economic aspects reserved for the couplet as a reason for taking care of them.
The meter is perfect throughout provided one accepts "dire" as a two-syllable word. I would certainly pronounce it as such, though written it looks more like one.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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This is great stuff. Not only have you chosen some excellent tail end rhyme words but you have managed to weave some of the same rhymes internally as well. The construction is neatly compartmentalised. The physical description and characteristics are kept in the octave, the danger from the sting contained entirely in the quatrain and the economic aspects reserved for the couplet as a reason for taking care of them.
The meter is perfect throughout provided one accepts "dire" as a two-syllable word. I would certainly pronounce it as such, though written it looks more like one.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you Pantygynt. I am pleased and agree with your assessment of "dire". I did have fun with in internal rhymes and end rhymes too.
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I bet you did!
Comment from flamingstar
Wow! Very clever with those endings! Nothing redundant or repetitive - just creatively well-written. Love the phrase "the humble bumble bees..."
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Wow! Very clever with those endings! Nothing redundant or repetitive - just creatively well-written. Love the phrase "the humble bumble bees..."
Comment Written 17-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
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Thank you flamingstar. I packed quite a bit of rhyme in here. I am really glad you appreciated it. Thank you for the stars too.
