Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Mr. Sun"Dawn of Chaos
26 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Sparks of light bring life to all living things including ourselves and night time means we sleep. Yes adventures being when we see the light, your poem has a little magic, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Sparks of light bring life to all living things including ourselves and night time means we sleep. Yes adventures being when we see the light, your poem has a little magic, love Dolly x
Comment Written 23-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Just enough spark to obtain your generous rate, thanking you for that aspect, trying to improve clarity in my conveyances, developing skills to fulfill this dream or nightmare.
Comment from Maria Millsaps
Interesting reading about the sun and how it interacts with our daily activities. I just have one recommendation
The title: Mr. Sun
The first sentence
Mr(.) Sun
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Interesting reading about the sun and how it interacts with our daily activities. I just have one recommendation
The title: Mr. Sun
The first sentence
Mr(.) Sun
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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Good shout! Glad some delight was obtained from the read, thanking you for your generous rate, heads up, and warm sentiments.
Comment from Raul1
I like this poem because you expressed emotions with the words that rhyme. All the sentences are aligned and joined together. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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I like this poem because you expressed emotions with the words that rhyme. All the sentences are aligned and joined together. Thanks for sharing! Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 22-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 23-Apr-2019
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A beautiful statement, trying is my only answer of response, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
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You're welcome
Comment from bmethner
Wonderful description of the morning sun. The inner rhyme brings a musicality to the piece. The easy flow of each stanza creates a visual that touches the heart strings and captures the reader in like experiences. Great expression of an otherwise normal beginning. Enjoyed it.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Wonderful description of the morning sun. The inner rhyme brings a musicality to the piece. The easy flow of each stanza creates a visual that touches the heart strings and captures the reader in like experiences. Great expression of an otherwise normal beginning. Enjoyed it.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Very pleased aspects found in this write were captivating to your interests, thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from heavenempress
hi, beautiful piece of poetry. i liked the way you give a rich, descriptive poetry. You have a good English command. excellent presentation and an adorable nature image. I highly recommend your work to others. All the best.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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hi, beautiful piece of poetry. i liked the way you give a rich, descriptive poetry. You have a good English command. excellent presentation and an adorable nature image. I highly recommend your work to others. All the best.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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Appreciate your statement, touching me deep having struggles at writes attempted, thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from Aussie
SPAG: I in bed faking sleep (take out lay.) Mr Sun (no full stop) wakes me, not awakes.
Light given, endeavor forwards, a tip aimed. New line " Bounce a trip down over shoulder, hit to.. Interesting take on the sun rising for a new day. Your interpretation of Awakening Guidance is a good one.
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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SPAG: I in bed faking sleep (take out lay.) Mr Sun (no full stop) wakes me, not awakes.
Light given, endeavor forwards, a tip aimed. New line " Bounce a trip down over shoulder, hit to.. Interesting take on the sun rising for a new day. Your interpretation of Awakening Guidance is a good one.
Comment Written 18-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 18-Apr-2019
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These facts illustrates my flaws, thanking you for your assistance, understanding perhaps enhance my write. Honest true soul, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
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TPAC if you fix your writing, I will look at a better rating. Happy Easter, Kay.
Comment from James Upshaw
This poem has a lot of potential for brilliant imagery, and it has a great concept. I must admit, however, that your words do not flow together cohesively, and I got lost in several places throughout the poem. With a little work, this could be a very inspiring piece!
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
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This poem has a lot of potential for brilliant imagery, and it has a great concept. I must admit, however, that your words do not flow together cohesively, and I got lost in several places throughout the poem. With a little work, this could be a very inspiring piece!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
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Good heads up, please to hear not all was bad, even a greater potential of probabilities. Thanking you for your generous rate and warm sentiments.
Comment from susand3022
Hi Tpac, This is an interesting take on the rising of the sun, it's definitely splintered thinking like you have while in that semi-waking state. I do want to call to your attention that the editor has done you wrong!!! The 1st and 7th stanzas have their second lines running into their first lines. :)
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
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Hi Tpac, This is an interesting take on the rising of the sun, it's definitely splintered thinking like you have while in that semi-waking state. I do want to call to your attention that the editor has done you wrong!!! The 1st and 7th stanzas have their second lines running into their first lines. :)
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 16-Apr-2019
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Appreciate the heads up, given revisions mistakes do occur, thanking you for your generous rate and touching thoughts.
Comment from Earl Corp
Waking up to the sunshine is the best!! Your poem had rhymes, made sense, and invokes positive feelings within the reader. Isn't Its supposed to be possessive?
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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Waking up to the sunshine is the best!! Your poem had rhymes, made sense, and invokes positive feelings within the reader. Isn't Its supposed to be possessive?
Comment Written 15-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 15-Apr-2019
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I will check that aspect, thanking you for your generous rate and welcomed comments.
Comment from Christine Wissner
Beautiful picture and impressive story. Well written. Delightful to read and not too long. I find little fault in you presentation and hope you will have much success in your writing. We work so hard to get things right and are rarely rewarded for our heart filled work. Good luck.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2019
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Beautiful picture and impressive story. Well written. Delightful to read and not too long. I find little fault in you presentation and hope you will have much success in your writing. We work so hard to get things right and are rarely rewarded for our heart filled work. Good luck.
Comment Written 06-Apr-2019
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2019
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I can only trust your statement, rewarding only one prize years ago, finding joy in your acquired success, feeling your enjoyment. Thanking you for all your wonderful conveyances about my writes.
