Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 283 "The Spot"Small and Specialty Poems
6 total reviews
Comment from I am Cat
Hi Tom,
I came back to The Spot... ah yes... I did.
I told you I would.. *looks around*...
are you here too? ;)
I wanted to tell you how this one touched me...
because... really, that's what this one
was intended to do.
And it worked.
'Just
take me to
that hidden glade
with a carpet
of
leaves and shade,
where
thoughts
flow free
and dreams are made.'
(you had me at hello ;)
'Released
right here
beside this brook
with Autumn
everywhere
you look.
A cloak
along the path you took,
and
hanging clusters
in the trees
that r u s t l e
in the gentle
b-r-e-e-z-e
are
things
that set
the mind
at
e-a-s-e'
(yes indeed, they do... it would have been lovely to have been able to have put a nice sway in the word "breeze' as I could see it waving in the wind... I like the spaces in between the letters in both words... lovely)
'and
make a most
ROMANTIC MOOD
where interuptions
won't
intrude. '
(I'm not sure about the upper case letters of Romantic Mood... I think changing the letters to a different font would have been lovely... perhaps a script... but it almost seems to scream in uppercase... yet, it doesn't detract for me)
'It's there
I wish
to promise you
My heart
remains forever
TRUE. '
(lovely... it's gentle and it glides beautifully and I have seen this wonderful romantic and lilting side of you... which appeals greatly to the poet in me... now... let's see you put in some really powerful metaphors (see how I keep challenging you?)
You're an awesome poet... one who should be at the top of this scrap heap... I see that. Metaphorically speaking. ;)
I'll be gone for a few days... hysterectomy and all that mess... make sure Gynt doesn't go nuts, will you? LOL
Take care, and hey.... keep writing this stuff... and give it to that wife of yours...
she'll ooze phermones. ;)
*smiles*
Lovely... Orange... my fav color too. ;)
Cat
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
  |
Hi Tom,
I came back to The Spot... ah yes... I did.
I told you I would.. *looks around*...
are you here too? ;)
I wanted to tell you how this one touched me...
because... really, that's what this one
was intended to do.
And it worked.
'Just
take me to
that hidden glade
with a carpet
of
leaves and shade,
where
thoughts
flow free
and dreams are made.'
(you had me at hello ;)
'Released
right here
beside this brook
with Autumn
everywhere
you look.
A cloak
along the path you took,
and
hanging clusters
in the trees
that r u s t l e
in the gentle
b-r-e-e-z-e
are
things
that set
the mind
at
e-a-s-e'
(yes indeed, they do... it would have been lovely to have been able to have put a nice sway in the word "breeze' as I could see it waving in the wind... I like the spaces in between the letters in both words... lovely)
'and
make a most
ROMANTIC MOOD
where interuptions
won't
intrude. '
(I'm not sure about the upper case letters of Romantic Mood... I think changing the letters to a different font would have been lovely... perhaps a script... but it almost seems to scream in uppercase... yet, it doesn't detract for me)
'It's there
I wish
to promise you
My heart
remains forever
TRUE. '
(lovely... it's gentle and it glides beautifully and I have seen this wonderful romantic and lilting side of you... which appeals greatly to the poet in me... now... let's see you put in some really powerful metaphors (see how I keep challenging you?)
You're an awesome poet... one who should be at the top of this scrap heap... I see that. Metaphorically speaking. ;)
I'll be gone for a few days... hysterectomy and all that mess... make sure Gynt doesn't go nuts, will you? LOL
Take care, and hey.... keep writing this stuff... and give it to that wife of yours...
she'll ooze phermones. ;)
*smiles*
Lovely... Orange... my fav color too. ;)
Cat
Comment Written 16-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2015
-
Ok, I will. Thank you Cat. Hope all goes well.
Comment from Joan E.
Hmmm--fourteen stanzas and iambic tetrameter plus rhymes=free style sonnet. Thanks for the formula and the enchanting photo. I enjoyed your rhymes, the "cloak" metaphor and the proposal that you included. Well done- Joan
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
|
Hmmm--fourteen stanzas and iambic tetrameter plus rhymes=free style sonnet. Thanks for the formula and the enchanting photo. I enjoyed your rhymes, the "cloak" metaphor and the proposal that you included. Well done- Joan
Comment Written 15-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Joan, i appreciate you review and the stars.
Comment from rod007
Solace and love amidst the lovers' brook in the aura of the scent of wild berry bushes and rose's raucous laughter as the two embrace in majestic union---a celebration of Nature's peace. Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015
 |
Solace and love amidst the lovers' brook in the aura of the scent of wild berry bushes and rose's raucous laughter as the two embrace in majestic union---a celebration of Nature's peace. Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2015
-
Thank you rod. Interesting interpretation.
Comment from Pantygynt
You are getting romantic in your old age Tom. I dont see a volta in S9! LOL.
Actually it does have a certain charm, as indeed does the location. I know someone that writes all her free verse out in lines and then jumbles it all up later. I rumbled her and then she told me you did too!.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
|
You are getting romantic in your old age Tom. I dont see a volta in S9! LOL.
Actually it does have a certain charm, as indeed does the location. I know someone that writes all her free verse out in lines and then jumbles it all up later. I rumbled her and then she told me you did too!.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
-
Thank you. Hah, bever too late for a little romance. Sounds like you are meaning I'm a Cat. Yes, she gave me the inspiration for this form.
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
Beautiful poem. I am a great fan of autumn, love the colors of the leaves as they change and here in South Africa the weather is perfect as well as Spring. Winter and Summer is usually extremely cold or hot. I picked up a little mistake you spelled rustle as r ustle. Unless of course it was meant to be like that.
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
|
Beautiful poem. I am a great fan of autumn, love the colors of the leaves as they change and here in South Africa the weather is perfect as well as Spring. Winter and Summer is usually extremely cold or hot. I picked up a little mistake you spelled rustle as r ustle. Unless of course it was meant to be like that.
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
-
Thank you Sandra. No i didn't meant to do that. I have a look.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
You are such a romantic, Tom, and I think that's great. I love the poem and the photo, and you are right, it would make an excellent place to propose. I like the style you wrote this one as well. It would have been a fine 'Love poem' contest entry. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
|
You are such a romantic, Tom, and I think that's great. I love the poem and the photo, and you are right, it would make an excellent place to propose. I like the style you wrote this one as well. It would have been a fine 'Love poem' contest entry. :) Sandra
Comment Written 12-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2015
-
Thank you very much Sandra. I appreciate your enthusiasm.
