Reflections Of Color
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "I Can't Do This Anymore"A collection of my All-Time Best rated song lyrics
26 total reviews
Comment from Unspoken94
At first, I wasn't moved by the "unorthodox" language style that you had chosen for this piece. But by the third reading I was caught up into it. You are a popular writer on this website apparently and I'm new to it. Perhaps I shouldn't be reviewing someone so experienced, but this poem is really quite good and it may be developed into a song! It makes me want to sit down and develop a refrain after each verse! Nice work.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2015
  |
At first, I wasn't moved by the "unorthodox" language style that you had chosen for this piece. But by the third reading I was caught up into it. You are a popular writer on this website apparently and I'm new to it. Perhaps I shouldn't be reviewing someone so experienced, but this poem is really quite good and it may be developed into a song! It makes me want to sit down and develop a refrain after each verse! Nice work.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2015
-
This originally began, and is copywrited, as a Country music lyric. I posted it as a poem because many people enjoy my lyrics/poems on this site. Glad you enjoyed reading it and appreciate your comments. Welcome to FanStory. You will enjoy it here.
Comment from prettybluebirds
Very, very good. I love your use of words such as, ain't. Incorrect English, but is most likely the word a person would use in every day thinking or speaking. The poem shows clearly the way this man was feeling as his love walked out the door. This poem is easy to read and understand. I can see why it is recognized work. Good job
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2015
|
Very, very good. I love your use of words such as, ain't. Incorrect English, but is most likely the word a person would use in every day thinking or speaking. The poem shows clearly the way this man was feeling as his love walked out the door. This poem is easy to read and understand. I can see why it is recognized work. Good job
Comment Written 08-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Actually, this began life as a County lyric. Glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from CD Richards
I think this brilliantly addresses the "lost love" subject.
It's strange, as I read it, it seemed more like a country song to me than a poem. This is not a criticism at all, the rhyme and meter are perfect, and there is no chorus; but it just felt that way --I think it's the language used-- then I read the bio notes :-)
Very well done, thanks for sharing.
Craig.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
I think this brilliantly addresses the "lost love" subject.
It's strange, as I read it, it seemed more like a country song to me than a poem. This is not a criticism at all, the rhyme and meter are perfect, and there is no chorus; but it just felt that way --I think it's the language used-- then I read the bio notes :-)
Very well done, thanks for sharing.
Craig.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
This started out as Country lyrics. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from BeasPeas
This is a terrific poem. Unfortunately, I missed voting in the contest. It reads like a song and I think it would make a good one. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
This is a terrific poem. Unfortunately, I missed voting in the contest. It reads like a song and I think it would make a good one. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 07-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
This started out as a Country lyric. Appreciate your comments and support.
Comment from LeslieP5
This is a sad poem about a breakup and the pain it causes. Too bad the subject of the poem did not appreciate what he had and treat his love well instead of causing her enough pain to cause her to loose her love and leave. Too often this plays out like the poem in real life. Sad but true. I hope anyone in this scenario reads the poem and saves the relationship before its too late. Well done and good luck in the contest..
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
This is a sad poem about a breakup and the pain it causes. Too bad the subject of the poem did not appreciate what he had and treat his love well instead of causing her enough pain to cause her to loose her love and leave. Too often this plays out like the poem in real life. Sad but true. I hope anyone in this scenario reads the poem and saves the relationship before its too late. Well done and good luck in the contest..
Comment Written 07-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from Chris Tee
This is an absolutely excellent poem showing the pain of lost love very precisely. Well done indeed and good luck in the contest we have here.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
This is an absolutely excellent poem showing the pain of lost love very precisely. Well done indeed and good luck in the contest we have here.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support. Appreciate them very much indeed.
Comment from Pantygynt
Not surprisingly really this reads like one of your song lyrics, and of course the theme of this contest is one of the most common country and western themes. None of that detracts from the fact that it is an effective poem that flows well and tells its story very well indeed.
It is full of good lines, but the one that ook my fance was: "When you're holding on to some old used-to-be".
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
Not surprisingly really this reads like one of your song lyrics, and of course the theme of this contest is one of the most common country and western themes. None of that detracts from the fact that it is an effective poem that flows well and tells its story very well indeed.
It is full of good lines, but the one that ook my fance was: "When you're holding on to some old used-to-be".
Comment Written 07-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Thanks for your comments and support.
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi Benjamin, I genuinely enjoyed your poem because of the social reality of something that we call all identify with yet, having a hard time expressing it. Your poem almost sounds like it could be a song. I love the word, "ain't" That's definitely country. Take care and see you on your next poem. Cheers.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
 |
Hi Benjamin, I genuinely enjoyed your poem because of the social reality of something that we call all identify with yet, having a hard time expressing it. Your poem almost sounds like it could be a song. I love the word, "ain't" That's definitely country. Take care and see you on your next poem. Cheers.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Actually, these started out as Country lyrics. I am, first and foremost, a Country Music Songwriter. So, appreciate your comments and support indeed.
Comment from Dom G Robles
This poem is pretty. You can make this lyrics into a song. If you read it aloud you can feel that is a song-like kind of poetry. It is well written. I love reading the poem from beginning to end.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
This poem is pretty. You can make this lyrics into a song. If you read it aloud you can feel that is a song-like kind of poetry. It is well written. I love reading the poem from beginning to end.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Actually, these started out as Country lyrics. Appreciate your comments and support. Glad you enjoyed this one.
-
Indeed, I did. Thank you.
Comment from EricBrady
Too often we see the fault in the other but it's only when it is too late that we see our on faults. The loss of a love can really set our minds straight but by that time it's too late. Then we left there alone with the pain that we must bear and the burdens seem so heavy because we have no mate with whom to share. That is a wonderfully written piece and has so much truth in it. A love lost can destroy the strongest person. I love the rhyme scheme and the emotions that are felt as you read the work. Great work!
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
|
Too often we see the fault in the other but it's only when it is too late that we see our on faults. The loss of a love can really set our minds straight but by that time it's too late. Then we left there alone with the pain that we must bear and the burdens seem so heavy because we have no mate with whom to share. That is a wonderfully written piece and has so much truth in it. A love lost can destroy the strongest person. I love the rhyme scheme and the emotions that are felt as you read the work. Great work!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2015
-
Thank you for your comments and support. May try to get this one recorded as it initially started out as Country lyrics and many people have stated they feel it could be a song.
