haiku (trees in transition)
haiku18 total reviews
Comment from Benjamin Valencia
Hi. Interesting write dedicated to Autumn. So, that was where the rainbow went. It washed itself on the ground to create the season. The pitter patter underneath my feet to encourage my senses as to feel the sound of every color. Take care and cheers.
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Hi. Interesting write dedicated to Autumn. So, that was where the rainbow went. It washed itself on the ground to create the season. The pitter patter underneath my feet to encourage my senses as to feel the sound of every color. Take care and cheers.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
Comment from irishauthorme
Good picture with associated images, and could relate to the wet or damp landscape after a rain that produced the rainbow, but would that have produced the "Crispy Landscape?" Maybe I missed something there.
irish
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Good picture with associated images, and could relate to the wet or damp landscape after a rain that produced the rainbow, but would that have produced the "Crispy Landscape?" Maybe I missed something there.
irish
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Ameen
A lovely image of Autumn/Fall using direct observation. Your first two lines contained the required grammatically connected concrete imagery with the freshness of your satori leading to the AHA. Great use of "crispy" and alliteration in "trees/transition", and assonance and consonance in "against/rainbow", and 'l' consonance which provides a lyrical texture to your poem. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
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Hi Ameen
A lovely image of Autumn/Fall using direct observation. Your first two lines contained the required grammatically connected concrete imagery with the freshness of your satori leading to the AHA. Great use of "crispy" and alliteration in "trees/transition", and assonance and consonance in "against/rainbow", and 'l' consonance which provides a lyrical texture to your poem. I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Hugs - Lovi xoxo
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
This meets the contest requirements splendidly. The line and syllable counts are within the guidelines. The imagery is wonderful and the satori cleanly executed. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
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This meets the contest requirements splendidly. The line and syllable counts are within the guidelines. The imagery is wonderful and the satori cleanly executed. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
Comment from humpwhistle
Nice haiku. I get a little tired of 'old standbys' like 'rainbow' in short verse. It seems to me a less typical descriptor might help.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
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Nice haiku. I get a little tired of 'old standbys' like 'rainbow' in short verse. It seems to me a less typical descriptor might help.
Best of luck.
Peace, Lee
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
Comment from Jeanie Mercer
This haiku seems to meet all the criteria of the prompt. I can well picture the scene with the good concrete imagery. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
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This haiku seems to meet all the criteria of the prompt. I can well picture the scene with the good concrete imagery. Good luck, Jeanie Mercer
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
Comment from Joy Graham
Hi ameen :) I like the image you write about here. I love the fall colors when they set in. The trees are starting to show signs of fall around here. I think we enjoy our walks the most when the Autumn colors are at their best :) Good luck in this contest.
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Hi ameen :) I like the image you write about here. I love the fall colors when they set in. The trees are starting to show signs of fall around here. I think we enjoy our walks the most when the Autumn colors are at their best :) Good luck in this contest.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
Comment from Pantygynt
The autumnal reference is plain enough here. So in the end, with all the requirements met, it comes down to which satori line provides the greates aha moment. This is a good'un.
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The autumnal reference is plain enough here. So in the end, with all the requirements met, it comes down to which satori line provides the greates aha moment. This is a good'un.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
Comment from mfowler
I'm imagining being out there on that ramble. Your opening two lines make the whole scene very appealing. Loved 'against rainbow-hued landscape', very dramatic and the alliterative opening works really well to draw the reader in. Best of luck.
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I'm imagining being out there on that ramble. Your opening two lines make the whole scene very appealing. Loved 'against rainbow-hued landscape', very dramatic and the alliterative opening works really well to draw the reader in. Best of luck.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2015
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Your poem meets the requirements of the contest.
-Lines one and two connect well.
-Good imagery- one can see the trees changing amidst the landscape, which is also changing with fall colors.
-Good satori line.
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-Your poem meets the requirements of the contest.
-Lines one and two connect well.
-Good imagery- one can see the trees changing amidst the landscape, which is also changing with fall colors.
-Good satori line.
Comment Written 19-Aug-2015
