Comment from Chunger

Excellent

This poem creates a beautiful image. I am not very familiar with the octogram structure, but if I were to make a small adjustment it would be to change "caramel-like colored" to just caramel colored. I know that would change the syllable count, but I feel it is a smoother read....just a suggestion.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Thank you Chunger. For the review as well as the suggestion.

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

I enjoyed your poem. The artwork is AWESOME. You described the sunset with super imagery. Good job on the format, rhyme, and alliteration.

I see no changes.

Thanks for sharing a great nature poem.

 Comment Written 11-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 11-Aug-2015

Thank you jannypan. My pleasure.

Comment from rod007

Excellent

You sure captured the image of the golden eye of the sun in this piece. I liked this line as it was filled with alliteration, " With caramel-like colored clouds."
Well done, Tom.

 Comment Written 03-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 03-Aug-2015

Thank you rod.

Comment from ravenblack

Excellent

Such a glorious photo! Candy sky with caramel-colored clouds- excellent and truly capturing the essence of the photo. Many poems, the spark, is a golden eye. Sorry I have been away. I was invited to read this weekend at a theatrical production in Wisconsin.

 Comment Written 02-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2015

Thank youbravenblack. That sounds fun.

Comment from Preston McWhorter

Excellent

Hi, Treischel,
"Golden Eye in the Sky" captures the essences of a beautiful sunset, the feeling as well as the colors and image. "Caramel colored clouds", excellent alliteration as well as imagery. "like" not needed needed as well as being a detraction from aliteration the metaphor in my opinion.
Excellent work.
Preston

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015

Hey Preston. Good to hear from you. Thanks for this great review.

Comment from artemis53

Excellent

Beautiful picture and words that are put down here. I love your description of color but the truth lies in "That floats on by To peak the curiosity And render thoughts of poetry."

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015

Thank you Atremis. Ah yes, Bards, Poets, Troubadours all.

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

Beautiful photo of the sunset, Tom. You have paired it well with your lovely words, I like the Golden Eye' what a lovely name to give the sun. Another excellent poem, my friend. (change the comma to a period at the end.) :) Sandra

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2015

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reply by the author on 01-Aug-2015

Thank you Sandra. OK got it.

Comment from flylikeaneagle

Excellent

Treischel: beautiful photo of the golden sunset and the golden eye. I like your format of the poem and the repeats of a garden eye. You have great control and thoughts flow by your pen. Excellent! Hope you are enjoying your Minnesota summer by the lakes! We go down to Spirit Lake, Iowa. flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015

Thank you flylikeaneagle, i am enjoying the great weather here very much.

Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose

Excellent

Hello Treischel,

I like your Octogram~Golden Eye in Sky~it is about a sunset of beautiful caramel colors. The format of this poem is very complicated for me, you did a good job!

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015

Thank you Gypsy Blue.

Comment from Eric1

Excellent

Hi Tom, what a beautifully written poem written as an octogram, the rhyming is perfect as is the meter, rhythm and flow, excellent use of description and imagery round it off wonderfully my friend.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2015

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reply by the author on 31-Jul-2015

Thank you so much Eric.

reply by Eric1 on 02-Aug-2015

You are very welcome my friend.