Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 312 "This Moon, This Bridge"Small and Specialty Poems
16 total reviews
Comment from bichonfrisegirl
Great job on this poem, Treischel!. I enjoyed this Ballade poem, and appreciate your notes on the format of a Ballade.
This one is a bit of a tear jerker. One would think that you spoke of something that you yourself actually experienced.
Extremely well written and presented, and invokes emotion in the reader. Well done! Loved your final two lines ... very strong ... "but now you cause my heart to madly race, with memories of joys that left too soon".
bichonfrisegirl
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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Great job on this poem, Treischel!. I enjoyed this Ballade poem, and appreciate your notes on the format of a Ballade.
This one is a bit of a tear jerker. One would think that you spoke of something that you yourself actually experienced.
Extremely well written and presented, and invokes emotion in the reader. Well done! Loved your final two lines ... very strong ... "but now you cause my heart to madly race, with memories of joys that left too soon".
bichonfrisegirl
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much, bichonfrisegirl. For the wonderful review and award of stars.
Comment from TPAC
A nice feel to this write appealing in its presentation grabbing my interests with thought-provoking conveyances -a good read in my opinion.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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A nice feel to this write appealing in its presentation grabbing my interests with thought-provoking conveyances -a good read in my opinion.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2015
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Thank you TPAC.
Comment from I am Cat
Such a beautiful poem, Tom... lovely in its telling... and I, for one, wish you hadn't told me it is fictional... I wanted to believe... ;)
My favorite part is in the middle...:
'So now I stand and sadly wonder why
Just how this circumstance could be the case --
Your lovely sight should only make me cry,
Reminding me of facts I can't erase
Of loving arms that held a warm embrace.
For now the love on that late afternoon,
From promises here, in this very place,
Are memories of joys that left too soon.'
nearly an entire poem on its own...
well done... and so deserving of this contest... all poems in this contest, deserve the highest rating, of course, but we all know that we just don't get that many sixes, and so... since I don't have that many, lol I'm reviewing them all... and I'll make no excuses, but you know what it means... it's so well done.
Congratulations, my dear
Cat
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Such a beautiful poem, Tom... lovely in its telling... and I, for one, wish you hadn't told me it is fictional... I wanted to believe... ;)
My favorite part is in the middle...:
'So now I stand and sadly wonder why
Just how this circumstance could be the case --
Your lovely sight should only make me cry,
Reminding me of facts I can't erase
Of loving arms that held a warm embrace.
For now the love on that late afternoon,
From promises here, in this very place,
Are memories of joys that left too soon.'
nearly an entire poem on its own...
well done... and so deserving of this contest... all poems in this contest, deserve the highest rating, of course, but we all know that we just don't get that many sixes, and so... since I don't have that many, lol I'm reviewing them all... and I'll make no excuses, but you know what it means... it's so well done.
Congratulations, my dear
Cat
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you Cat. I completely understand, and agree. btw you are kicking my butt and closing in on first.
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LOL, Well... I never count any votes in a contest like this! those things are too damn long! They'd drive me crazy. ;(
I like to read them all... and see what's out there, and yeah... I'm just really honored to be among all of you... you're all so gifted and I"m just thrilled to drink in the talent among you! :)
Thanks Tom... You rock... (but then, you know that) ;)
Comment from BeasPeas
This does seem like a challenging form. Your lovely poem and photograph compliment each other with striking presentation and content. I enjoyed reading it and your informative author's note. Word choices, rhyming, and flow are all well done. Marilyn/BeasPeas
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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This does seem like a challenging form. Your lovely poem and photograph compliment each other with striking presentation and content. I enjoyed reading it and your informative author's note. Word choices, rhyming, and flow are all well done. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment Written 23-Aug-2015
reply by the author on 23-Aug-2015
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Thank you very much Marilyn
Comment from Nosha17
Interesting poetic format. A bridge reminds of a love that blossomed there moons ago, but it was not meant to be. Nice imagery and excellent rhyming to convey your thoughts. Great photo. Faye
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Interesting poetic format. A bridge reminds of a love that blossomed there moons ago, but it was not meant to be. Nice imagery and excellent rhyming to convey your thoughts. Great photo. Faye
Comment Written 26-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
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Thank you so muck Faye.
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo of you that complements your poem perfectly. Thanks for explaining the rules for a Ballade, I forgot and you hardly ever see them here.
I am glad it is just fiction. It is a sad poem about a place where a couple used to come. Memories of her went away too soon.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015
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Excellent photo of you that complements your poem perfectly. Thanks for explaining the rules for a Ballade, I forgot and you hardly ever see them here.
I am glad it is just fiction. It is a sad poem about a place where a couple used to come. Memories of her went away too soon.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2015
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Thank you, Ine, for such a wonderful review.
Comment from Shirley E Kennedy
A challenge, indeed, and you have risen to it well.
A complicated format which produces a fine Ballade on completion.
You have readily managed the format and told a sad tale as well.
:-) Shirley
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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A challenge, indeed, and you have risen to it well.
A complicated format which produces a fine Ballade on completion.
You have readily managed the format and told a sad tale as well.
:-) Shirley
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you very much Shirley. It was difficult,t, but fun, all he same. I appreciate the stars and wonderful review.
Comment from artemis53
I don't care if it's fiction. It's beautiful as well as believable. Of course, I'm a sucker for this type of subject and you've penned it beautifully. How could I not think it lovely.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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I don't care if it's fiction. It's beautiful as well as believable. Of course, I'm a sucker for this type of subject and you've penned it beautifully. How could I not think it lovely.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Oh how sweet. Thank you very much Artemis.
Comment from tfawcus
Nice variations from the iambic here add interest. The rhyming is pretty much spot on, though I was doubtful about the soft sound of 'erase' amongst the '-ace' rhymes. The enjambment and mid-line caesuras worked will to de-emphasise the stringent rhyme scheme. A nicely turned reminiscence, albeit fictitious. Splendid picture!
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Nice variations from the iambic here add interest. The rhyming is pretty much spot on, though I was doubtful about the soft sound of 'erase' amongst the '-ace' rhymes. The enjambment and mid-line caesuras worked will to de-emphasise the stringent rhyme scheme. A nicely turned reminiscence, albeit fictitious. Splendid picture!
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you Tony for this wonderful review as well as the inspiration of format. I am pleased with how it turned out.
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Picture definitely lures reader into the scene of this well written poem where they can better experience all the sights and scenes unfolding around them. Well done.
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Picture definitely lures reader into the scene of this well written poem where they can better experience all the sights and scenes unfolding around them. Well done.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
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Thank you very much Brett.
