Reviews from

Miscellaneous Poems - vol 3

Viewing comments for Chapter 20 "haiku (Homo sapiens)"
Yet more poems

6 total reviews 
Comment from Pen of Fire
Excellent
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This poem speaks truth unfortunately. Very well thought out. You did a great job with entry. /The artwork you chose is perfect. Best wishes in the contest.


 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
    Thank you very much for your kind comments. They are very much appreciated :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent
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Hello mystery writer,

I like your haiku for the contest of endanger animals haiku. You did a good job with the syllable count. You have to grammatically connected lines and a satori line. Goodjob!

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
    Thank you, Gypsy, for your kind remarks. Much appreciated.
Comment from I am Cat
Excellent
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interesting theme... beautiful artwork.
I think you might have something here

well thought out...and yes,
we are sort of destroying ourselves
sadly.
well done,
good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 24-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 24-Jul-2015
    Thank you, Cat, for your thoughtful review and your good wishes. They are most appreciated!
Comment from Mystic Angel 7777
Excellent
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This meets the contest requirements nicely with a correct line and syllable count. This is a very clever piece as you manage to endanger everything that is not human - I hope the committee does to tag this for not being about a specific endangered species as stated in the rules. I wish you all the best in the voting and thank you very much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
    Hi Mystic Angel. Yes, I'm concerned about that too. My thinking is that if ALL species are endangered then certainly A species is. I haven't excluded humans from that list. The instructions also say to be creative, so I guess we'll see how it's interpreted. Thanks for your kind review :)
reply by Mystic Angel 7777 on 23-Jul-2015
    I hope it works for you, but I have been sucked into the void before by the 'be creative' thing. I will light a candle you make it through for it is VERY good and uniquely clever.
reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
    Well, I was forced to change it. Pity, it doesn't have the same meaning now; but hopefully it "complies" :)
Comment from ~Dovey
Excellent
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While I think this is outstanding as is, I suspect that the haikuistas will have an issue with 2 grammatically connected lines. I'm thinking you may circumvent that by putting a dash after the first line. I respect the minimal punctuation, but I think it might get you one or two more votes ;) The third line is clearly your satori. This is well written and to perfect syllable counts. I wish you the best of luck.

Kim

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
    Thank you for the advice, Kim. I do believe I will take it. Thanks for the lovely review and your good wishes as well.
Comment from Sis Cat
Excellent
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Isn't that the truth? No species is safe. Your haiku is direct, simple, and well-crafted. It also packs a punch with a message that resonates.

I wish you success in the haiku contest.

 Comment Written 23-Jul-2015


reply by the author on 23-Jul-2015
    Thank you so much for your kind review, much appreciated.