Miscellaneous Poems - vol 3
Viewing comments for Chapter 25 "Bob the Railway Dog"Yet more poems
20 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
What a great story! How fun - seems like he was really suited to the train traveling life. But when did he y'know go - to the bathroom? I guess he could hold it until the next station stop?
Great story poem, Craig!
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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What a great story! How fun - seems like he was really suited to the train traveling life. But when did he y'know go - to the bathroom? I guess he could hold it until the next station stop?
Great story poem, Craig!
Comment Written 15-Oct-2019
reply by the author on 15-Oct-2019
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I think it would have been almost always freight trains, not passenger trains, and he travelled either in the guard's car or the engine. So maybe he held on, or maybe the drivers and guards didn't care lol
Thanks for reviewing, Helen :)
Comment from I am Cat
It's Thursday night... finally, I've made it full circle... I've come back to where I began (right as I got these damn stars... ) and i've hid this one, tucked it away and stingily, and with malice of forethought, brought it to lie before you (or is it 'lay'... that sounds nice ... ;) )
oh wait... but I do seem to get distracted, don't I? ;)
oh yes, that's why I'm here... to award this last, tucked away SIX STAR RATING to this *grumble grumble grumble* really awesome entry into the *grumble grumble grumble* Story in a Poem Contest... (which will most likely have me breaking my ONE rule! (always vote for yourself)... *grumble grumble grumble*...
This is an amazing story... so beautifully told, so perfectly written and penned and whateverthefuckyouwanttocallitpoeticshit... you've done it!
ok, so you're a (quote) technical writer (end quote) turned rogue poet...
*rolls eyes* yeah, whatthefuckever.
Well, you're doing a bang up job putting the rest of us (who have been writing poetry for over 45 years, by the way) to shame. :(
*drags ass home*
BUTT.... that being said...
It's a damn fine poem (and I, for one, hope you win) pssst.... don't tell ANYONE I said that. grrrr
*grumble grumble grumble*
;)
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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It's Thursday night... finally, I've made it full circle... I've come back to where I began (right as I got these damn stars... ) and i've hid this one, tucked it away and stingily, and with malice of forethought, brought it to lie before you (or is it 'lay'... that sounds nice ... ;) )
oh wait... but I do seem to get distracted, don't I? ;)
oh yes, that's why I'm here... to award this last, tucked away SIX STAR RATING to this *grumble grumble grumble* really awesome entry into the *grumble grumble grumble* Story in a Poem Contest... (which will most likely have me breaking my ONE rule! (always vote for yourself)... *grumble grumble grumble*...
This is an amazing story... so beautifully told, so perfectly written and penned and whateverthefuckyouwanttocallitpoeticshit... you've done it!
ok, so you're a (quote) technical writer (end quote) turned rogue poet...
*rolls eyes* yeah, whatthefuckever.
Well, you're doing a bang up job putting the rest of us (who have been writing poetry for over 45 years, by the way) to shame. :(
*drags ass home*
BUTT.... that being said...
It's a damn fine poem (and I, for one, hope you win) pssst.... don't tell ANYONE I said that. grrrr
*grumble grumble grumble*
;)
Comment Written 25-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
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It's just as well I'm a tough-as-nails, rugged, macho type mean dude, because if I was a chick I might cry at getting a review like this. You have no idea how much it means when someone whose work I admire so much gives this sort of feedback.
I don't think you get to vote, do you? I thought this was decided by the mysterious "committee" - whomever those wonderful folks are. Let me know if I'm wrong, I don't want to miss out on my democratic right!
Thanks so much for the kind things you had to say Cat, it really does mean the world.
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Oh... well that's even better so I don't have to make myself feel bad. :( lol
whew! lol
You're welcome Craig... it truly IS a GREAT poem... ...making YOU... a GREAT poet. :)
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
First I would like to say hello and welcome to FS. I run a B&B by myself, so my time of FS is quite spotty. I miss many of the newcomer's debuts but did want to take a peek at your page since you gave such a nice review to one of mine. What a jaunty tale of Bob the traveling Dog. I first want to thank you for the use of pure rhyme for the majority of the piece. If you stay long enough you will find that I am not a fan of what folks call slant, near or proximate rhyme. I did find the meter got a bit bumpy at times in the piece, not from syllable count but emphasis, your da dum da dums sometimes went da da dum. Reading it aloud smoothed most of that away. I enjoyed the ride and hope to read more of your work. - Wendy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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First I would like to say hello and welcome to FS. I run a B&B by myself, so my time of FS is quite spotty. I miss many of the newcomer's debuts but did want to take a peek at your page since you gave such a nice review to one of mine. What a jaunty tale of Bob the traveling Dog. I first want to thank you for the use of pure rhyme for the majority of the piece. If you stay long enough you will find that I am not a fan of what folks call slant, near or proximate rhyme. I did find the meter got a bit bumpy at times in the piece, not from syllable count but emphasis, your da dum da dums sometimes went da da dum. Reading it aloud smoothed most of that away. I enjoyed the ride and hope to read more of your work. - Wendy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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Hi Wendy - I tend to agree with you; in most of my others, the rhyme is more "pure". Also, I agree about the meter. I slackened off a bit in this one - not 100% happy, but that's the way it goes. You are the object of great envy in these parts - my other half would love to run a B&B. Thanks for your encouraging and helpful comments, and for your nice welcome as well.
Craig.
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Just wanted to let you know that my conscience got the better of me, and in light of your comments, I've changed the 3rd and 5th stanzas - hopefully improving things a bit. Thanks again, Craig.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Hi CD,
This is absolutely delightful. You did such a good job with the meter and well chosen rhymes that made sense to the story.
My favorite part is the next to last stanza. Haha - that old sheep farmer couldn't contain Bob once he heard the whistle. Good work.
Hugs,
Lou
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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Hi CD,
This is absolutely delightful. You did such a good job with the meter and well chosen rhymes that made sense to the story.
My favorite part is the next to last stanza. Haha - that old sheep farmer couldn't contain Bob once he heard the whistle. Good work.
Hugs,
Lou
Comment Written 24-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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Thanks very much, Lou, for your kind comments; they are much appreciated. Craig.
Comment from --Turtle.
I have the hardest time reviewing poetry. I'm all thumbs and elbows. Usually I'm afraid I'll give bad advise too. So I'll tell you my retained impression from my first reading.
A pleasing poem, centered on the life of a traveling train dog named Bob, his unique relationship with many towns and people, as he fulfills his place as steady friend to Engine drivers going here and there. With even a little added lore/ magic to the end of the tale with the image of the spirit of a traveling dog, still traveling the range/ tracks he loved during life. I liked the added conflict image of the dog being bound to working sheep fields... and him running off.
Hey, the end of this dog's tale ends with an image of a dog's tail. Nice.
when locomotion in its prime
was king of transport; and when trains (felt awkward through here having to start a new thought mid line, not that it's even a problem, just something I paused on.)
that is how(where?) he told to us
A fun story, the topic whimsical, fun. The setting is harder for me to identify with, as all the names are far away, but the heart of the matter is cross regional... as dogs and people share a special kind of kinship.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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I have the hardest time reviewing poetry. I'm all thumbs and elbows. Usually I'm afraid I'll give bad advise too. So I'll tell you my retained impression from my first reading.
A pleasing poem, centered on the life of a traveling train dog named Bob, his unique relationship with many towns and people, as he fulfills his place as steady friend to Engine drivers going here and there. With even a little added lore/ magic to the end of the tale with the image of the spirit of a traveling dog, still traveling the range/ tracks he loved during life. I liked the added conflict image of the dog being bound to working sheep fields... and him running off.
Hey, the end of this dog's tale ends with an image of a dog's tail. Nice.
when locomotion in its prime
was king of transport; and when trains (felt awkward through here having to start a new thought mid line, not that it's even a problem, just something I paused on.)
that is how(where?) he told to us
A fun story, the topic whimsical, fun. The setting is harder for me to identify with, as all the names are far away, but the heart of the matter is cross regional... as dogs and people share a special kind of kinship.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
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Hi Turtlestage5,
I'm glad you spotted my little joke in the last line :-)
Thanks for "getting" the point of the poem, even though as you say, the places themselves aren't familiar to you. I was hoping that readers would understand that the places could be anywhere - but I didn't feel at liberty to change the details.
I do appreciate the trouble you take with your reviews, and thank you for your kind words.
Craig.
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Oh no, don't change the names/details of the places... even though I can't picture them the same as someone might closer to them, I think I realize they feel quaint and charming, as things tend to be cleaner and greener, more friendly and such, the farther they are away. The names contain their own heritage, that do impact the reader, maybe on more of a level than I initially identified.
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Oh no, don't change the names/details of the places... even though I can't picture them the same as someone might closer to them, I think I realize they feel quaint and charming, as things tend to be cleaner and greener, more friendly and such, the farther they are away. The names contain their own heritage, that do impact the reader, maybe on more of a level than I initially identified.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I enjoyed reading your contest entry, 'A little collie goes a long way, Bob the Railway Dog' Good job with the rhyming and flow of the poem. Well done!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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I enjoyed reading your contest entry, 'A little collie goes a long way, Bob the Railway Dog' Good job with the rhyming and flow of the poem. Well done!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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Thank you very much, Gypsy Blue Rose, for your kind and encouraging comments. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. All the best, Craig.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
The story in a poem was well written. The rhyme and flow are both excellent. The artwork is awesome. Good job wit the prompt. You gave the reader not only a nice poem but a history lesson as well.
No changes seen. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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The story in a poem was well written. The rhyme and flow are both excellent. The artwork is awesome. Good job wit the prompt. You gave the reader not only a nice poem but a history lesson as well.
No changes seen. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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Thank you jannypan for stopping by to check out my poem, and for your kind review - much appreciated. Craig.
Comment from dmt1967
This story is so cool. I liked Bob, the railway dog. I had a dog once who loved the bus and used to get on it on her own. This is a great well written story. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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This story is so cool. I liked Bob, the railway dog. I had a dog once who loved the bus and used to get on it on her own. This is a great well written story. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much dmt1967 for the 6 star review! I'm glad you liked Bob's story, and that you could relate through your own pooch's exploits. Thanks for your good wishes too. All the best, Craig.
Comment from DreamtwithClarity
This is a great reading. I love the pattern that you used and the way that you told the story. You're a good storyteller, good enough to tell stories much more often. If you have a radio voice then that's even better. Thanks for writing - D.O.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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This is a great reading. I love the pattern that you used and the way that you told the story. You're a good storyteller, good enough to tell stories much more often. If you have a radio voice then that's even better. Thanks for writing - D.O.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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Thank you D.O. for your very kind comments. Alas, although it has been my job to address gatherings in the past, my speaking voice is nothing to write home about - I wish! All the best, Craig.
Comment from Autumn Splendour
What an enchanting poem about a railway dog called Bob. An enjoyable story told in rhythm and rhyme. You have immortalized him through your tale. Lovely and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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What an enchanting poem about a railway dog called Bob. An enjoyable story told in rhythm and rhyme. You have immortalized him through your tale. Lovely and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
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Thank you so much, Autumn Splendour, for your very kind words, and your extremely generous rating! I'm glad you liked my poem. Thanks also for your good wishes. All the best, Craig.
