More Opinions & Politics 2013~2017
Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Addicted"My opinions on just about everything.
12 total reviews
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Marilyn
I like this one a lot. Its message is clear enough. The rhythm is pleasing. The length is just right. Keep it up.
Marv
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Marilyn
I like this one a lot. Its message is clear enough. The rhythm is pleasing. The length is just right. Keep it up.
Marv
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Marv. I appreciate your review and fine rating on this important topic. Marilyn
Comment from w.j.debi
Addictions can be so difficult to give up and impossible if you are too much I love with them. Writing? Well it is possible. LOL
Excellent mono end rhyming in each stanza and excellent use of enjambment for a smooth transistor from line to line.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Addictions can be so difficult to give up and impossible if you are too much I love with them. Writing? Well it is possible. LOL
Excellent mono end rhyming in each stanza and excellent use of enjambment for a smooth transistor from line to line.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
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Hi debi. I appreciate your review and rating. Got my morning giggle about the writing part. Addicted--aren't we all? Marilyn
Comment from rod007
What is an addition? Is is a need for something or someone. It is like my need for coffee when I awake, a caffeine addiction like your addition and dependency on him. Well done, Marilyn.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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What is an addition? Is is a need for something or someone. It is like my need for coffee when I awake, a caffeine addiction like your addition and dependency on him. Well done, Marilyn.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Hi Rod. Did you read my author's note? It's about being addicted to anything, food, alcohol, drugs, a person, etc. Thank you for reviewing my poem on anything that we like too much. Marilyn
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Your poem makes perfect sense. Good job with the rhyme of each verse. I really liked that. It does not seem forced at all. The artwork is fitting.
Good job. I see no changes. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Your poem makes perfect sense. Good job with the rhyme of each verse. I really liked that. It does not seem forced at all. The artwork is fitting.
Good job. I see no changes. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Thank you, janny. I appreciate that you stopped by to review my poem on addiction, which can be anything we like too much. Marilyn
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Lady Marilyn you hit it right on the head.. Addiction comes in all forms and each one is as hard to break as the next..I really liked the whimsical way you wrote this...Every person with an addiction of some sorts can relate to your words..Even those FS addicted lol
TK
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Lady Marilyn you hit it right on the head.. Addiction comes in all forms and each one is as hard to break as the next..I really liked the whimsical way you wrote this...Every person with an addiction of some sorts can relate to your words..Even those FS addicted lol
TK
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Hi, TK. Thank you for your astute review. Marilyn
Comment from Dean Kuch
Haha, no, you're not kidding, Marlyn. We can get just as addicted to writing as anything else. The only thing is, there are so-called healthy addictions, and addictions which aren't quite so...healthy." See, when we write, we create something out of nothing. And when we're able to create something out of nothing, it gives us a euphoric "high." And when we experience that euphoric "high", we want to experience again, and again, and...
Well, you know where I'm going with this review, I'm sure.
Great poem, loved it!
~Dean
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Haha, no, you're not kidding, Marlyn. We can get just as addicted to writing as anything else. The only thing is, there are so-called healthy addictions, and addictions which aren't quite so...healthy." See, when we write, we create something out of nothing. And when we're able to create something out of nothing, it gives us a euphoric "high." And when we experience that euphoric "high", we want to experience again, and again, and...
Well, you know where I'm going with this review, I'm sure.
Great poem, loved it!
~Dean
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Dean. I've been in AA for 44 years, having stopped drinking when my children were infants. Why--because I liked it too much and I didn't want that lifestyle for my children or myself. BUT, the key to success is that the addict must want it more than anything else because without sobriety--there is nothing. Life is excruciatingly good, living non-addicted. I've been blessed. Writing IS a natural high that is a healthy outlet. Thank you for reviewing. Marilyn
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You're very welcome, Marilyn, and as I stated in my review, there are those addictions which we consider to be healthy ones, and those we don't.
~Dean
Comment from lalajovanoski
! You are such an amazing writer!!! I truly enjoyed reading this as you are so very talented! Thank you so very much for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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! You are such an amazing writer!!! I truly enjoyed reading this as you are so very talented! Thank you so very much for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Thank you, lala. I'm happy you read and reviewed my piece on addiction. Marilyn
Comment from Cameron J. Beaty
I enjoy this poem. Not may people talk about addictions, but it is very much alive and well. The way you emphasized the words also helps to create a more solid meaning and you also make sure to answer how hard these addictions are from stopping, stating, "I'd sooner die if I would." Very good job!
Sincerely, Mr. Beaty
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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I enjoy this poem. Not may people talk about addictions, but it is very much alive and well. The way you emphasized the words also helps to create a more solid meaning and you also make sure to answer how hard these addictions are from stopping, stating, "I'd sooner die if I would." Very good job!
Sincerely, Mr. Beaty
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Thank you, Mr. Beaty. I appreciate your astute notice of the poem's pace as addicted people have an anxious and urgent lifestyle. Marilyn
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No problem and you are right about that.
Comment from mvbrooks
Your poem's content lives up to the expectations of the title.
I wonder why you abandoned punctuation after the first stanza. Remember, in reading poetry, a reader keeps reading without pause until he/she reaches the punctuation cues. You control the rhythm and pacing of your poem, and the emphasis, with punctuation.
Suggestion, in line 3, consider changing "can't" to "cannot" -- I believe "cannot" adds to the flow of that line.
Thanks for sharing your poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Your poem's content lives up to the expectations of the title.
I wonder why you abandoned punctuation after the first stanza. Remember, in reading poetry, a reader keeps reading without pause until he/she reaches the punctuation cues. You control the rhythm and pacing of your poem, and the emphasis, with punctuation.
Suggestion, in line 3, consider changing "can't" to "cannot" -- I believe "cannot" adds to the flow of that line.
Thanks for sharing your poem.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Hi MV. Thank you for reviewing my poem. Addiction leads to a very choppy, urgent, anxious lifestyle which is the purpose of the 7 syllable line count which lends itself to use of "can't" rather than cannot. Punctuation is a matter of preference. An easy to read poem such as this one doesn't need punctuation, in my opinion as the poet. I think most people are astute enough to know when the thought ends, even in poems--that is unless the poem is complicated. I see you are a new member this month to FanStory. I wish you much good luck in your writing and reviewing. Marilyn
Comment from Michael Ludwinder II
The rhyme was natural. Maybe a bit "bam, bam, bam, bam". That's the "A, A, A, A" of the rhyme. A more natural flow might be "A, B, A, B" which I think would help the flow. Aside from that I thought this was excellent. The word choices were natural. The flow (syllable count) was excellent. A terrific write.
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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The rhyme was natural. Maybe a bit "bam, bam, bam, bam". That's the "A, A, A, A" of the rhyme. A more natural flow might be "A, B, A, B" which I think would help the flow. Aside from that I thought this was excellent. The word choices were natural. The flow (syllable count) was excellent. A terrific write.
Comment Written 17-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
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Hi Michael. How astute of you to recognize the bam, bam, bam. Addiction leads to a very choppy, anxious lifestyle. Good for you. Thank you for your review. Marilyn