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More Opinions & Politics 2013~2017

Viewing comments for Chapter 26 "Addicted"
My opinions on just about everything.

12 total reviews 
Comment from Marvin Calloway
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Marilyn
I like this one a lot. Its message is clear enough. The rhythm is pleasing. The length is just right. Keep it up.
Marv

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
    Thank you, Marv. I appreciate your review and fine rating on this important topic. Marilyn
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
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Addictions can be so difficult to give up and impossible if you are too much I love with them. Writing? Well it is possible. LOL
Excellent mono end rhyming in each stanza and excellent use of enjambment for a smooth transistor from line to line.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 18-Jun-2015
    Hi debi. I appreciate your review and rating. Got my morning giggle about the writing part. Addicted--aren't we all? Marilyn
Comment from rod007
Excellent
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What is an addition? Is is a need for something or someone. It is like my need for coffee when I awake, a caffeine addiction like your addition and dependency on him. Well done, Marilyn.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Hi Rod. Did you read my author's note? It's about being addicted to anything, food, alcohol, drugs, a person, etc. Thank you for reviewing my poem on anything that we like too much. Marilyn
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Excellent
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Your poem makes perfect sense. Good job with the rhyme of each verse. I really liked that. It does not seem forced at all. The artwork is fitting.

Good job. I see no changes. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you, janny. I appreciate that you stopped by to review my poem on addiction, which can be anything we like too much. Marilyn
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
Excellent
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Lady Marilyn you hit it right on the head.. Addiction comes in all forms and each one is as hard to break as the next..I really liked the whimsical way you wrote this...Every person with an addiction of some sorts can relate to your words..Even those FS addicted lol
TK

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Hi, TK. Thank you for your astute review. Marilyn
Comment from Dean Kuch
Excellent
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Haha, no, you're not kidding, Marlyn. We can get just as addicted to writing as anything else. The only thing is, there are so-called healthy addictions, and addictions which aren't quite so...healthy." See, when we write, we create something out of nothing. And when we're able to create something out of nothing, it gives us a euphoric "high." And when we experience that euphoric "high", we want to experience again, and again, and...

Well, you know where I'm going with this review, I'm sure.

Great poem, loved it!
~Dean

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you, Dean. I've been in AA for 44 years, having stopped drinking when my children were infants. Why--because I liked it too much and I didn't want that lifestyle for my children or myself. BUT, the key to success is that the addict must want it more than anything else because without sobriety--there is nothing. Life is excruciatingly good, living non-addicted. I've been blessed. Writing IS a natural high that is a healthy outlet. Thank you for reviewing. Marilyn
reply by Dean Kuch on 17-Jun-2015
    You're very welcome, Marilyn, and as I stated in my review, there are those addictions which we consider to be healthy ones, and those we don't.
    ~Dean
Comment from lalajovanoski
Excellent
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! You are such an amazing writer!!! I truly enjoyed reading this as you are so very talented! Thank you so very much for sharing this as I truly enjoyed reading

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you, lala. I'm happy you read and reviewed my piece on addiction. Marilyn
Comment from Cameron J. Beaty
Excellent
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I enjoy this poem. Not may people talk about addictions, but it is very much alive and well. The way you emphasized the words also helps to create a more solid meaning and you also make sure to answer how hard these addictions are from stopping, stating, "I'd sooner die if I would." Very good job!
Sincerely, Mr. Beaty

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Thank you, Mr. Beaty. I appreciate your astute notice of the poem's pace as addicted people have an anxious and urgent lifestyle. Marilyn
reply by Cameron J. Beaty on 17-Jun-2015
    No problem and you are right about that.
Comment from mvbrooks
Good
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Your poem's content lives up to the expectations of the title.

I wonder why you abandoned punctuation after the first stanza. Remember, in reading poetry, a reader keeps reading without pause until he/she reaches the punctuation cues. You control the rhythm and pacing of your poem, and the emphasis, with punctuation.

Suggestion, in line 3, consider changing "can't" to "cannot" -- I believe "cannot" adds to the flow of that line.

Thanks for sharing your poem.

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 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Hi MV. Thank you for reviewing my poem. Addiction leads to a very choppy, urgent, anxious lifestyle which is the purpose of the 7 syllable line count which lends itself to use of "can't" rather than cannot. Punctuation is a matter of preference. An easy to read poem such as this one doesn't need punctuation, in my opinion as the poet. I think most people are astute enough to know when the thought ends, even in poems--that is unless the poem is complicated. I see you are a new member this month to FanStory. I wish you much good luck in your writing and reviewing. Marilyn
Comment from Michael Ludwinder II
Excellent
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The rhyme was natural. Maybe a bit "bam, bam, bam, bam". That's the "A, A, A, A" of the rhyme. A more natural flow might be "A, B, A, B" which I think would help the flow. Aside from that I thought this was excellent. The word choices were natural. The flow (syllable count) was excellent. A terrific write.

 Comment Written 17-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 17-Jun-2015
    Hi Michael. How astute of you to recognize the bam, bam, bam. Addiction leads to a very choppy, anxious lifestyle. Good for you. Thank you for your review. Marilyn