Reviews from

Get Well, Brooke!

Viewing comments for Chapter 10001 "Ten Pirates"
Writing for Brooke

18 total reviews 
Comment from Deborah Marie
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Good for you; this will tickle Brooke pink... I just love counting poems and this one is extremely creative as seen throughout the wording. Just love the artwork! Thanks for sharing and keep 'em coming. God Bless, Deb

 Comment Written 11-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
    Deb, thanks so much for the lovely comments and the six stars.

    Steve
Comment from w.j.debi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is an excellent counting poem. It flows so smoothly and tells such a fun tale. I love the humor you have incorporated. This would make a fun picture book for children. Brooke will be proud of you when she reads this one. Really, see if you can publish it.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
    Thank you - glad you enjoyed.

    Steve
Comment from strandregs
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

You cheap goat (2 cents)
you can't even promote
a work of art
you old drunkfart (sorry it rhymes)
so here I am in awe
With poem with great flow
no flaw I found
just rhythmic sound
a joy for young and old
a treasure to be sold.
now matey's the time
to write a rhyme
about ten publishers
to immortalize your bubbelicious
:-)).Z.

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
    Thanks for the fun, rhyming review - even the old fart bit!

    Publishing - would if I could - not ready to go the self-publishing route at this time and can't seem to get anyone interested the traditional way...

    Steve
reply by strandregs on 11-Jun-2015
    Really this is one of your sublime writings
    the tip of the top.
    Do you go open mike reading belong to a poets group?
    If not you should. Its good fun.:-)) Z.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    I live in the country so it's not always easy to get into town. I've been going to a monthly writers' group for a few months now and last month went to an open mic poetry group for the first time - there were only a few people there but I did share some of my poems - I'm not great at it, but could get better perhaps.

    Steve
reply by strandregs on 12-Jun-2015
    Good going .
    the first time I went I read like a robot.
    And was nick named schwarseneger
    the second time my hand was shaking
    and I almost fainted.
    the third rime i went on smiling and had fun.
    So knockem dead.you have some awsome stuff.Z.
Comment from rosehill (Wendy)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Your yo ho, was a delightful tribute to the counting collection that Brooke has amassed. I love these poems and yours is no exception. Great situations, a bit of a ho ho from time to time and ending with an oh no. Fun accompaniment to my morning coffee. I do so enjoy finding your name in my "messages" listing. I'm sure this will give Brooke a giggle too. - Wendy

 Comment Written 10-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Wendy.

    Brooke should definitely put all hers together in a book - they are wonderful.

    Steve
Comment from nancyjam
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This is a great counting poem for children and
Brooke will be proud of you.
Excellent meter and fun rhymes as well
as terrific images.
Good job. Nancy

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 11-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Nancy - glad you enjoyed this bit of Brooke-ish fun.

    Steve
Comment from LIJ Red
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Which leads back to a question in a profile thought, just how many Fanstory
members are there? You did well to simmer this one until it was done. It's an
excellent poem.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thank you.

    Apparently the chapter numbering for Brooke's book is all out of whack. Phew! I was trying to imagine her slogging her way through 10,000 poems!

    Steve
Comment from sweetwoodjax
Excellent
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this is an excellent write, kiwisteveh, I love your little counting poem about the pirates. I never thought there was one in me either but it came out of me when brooke was taken away from us, though I hope it's just a short while.

 Comment Written 09-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thank you - yes, the place just isn't the same without her.

    Steve
Comment from Nichola
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You did a great job with this counting poem. I bet Brooke's grandson would enjoy this one. I also like the theme of pirates, because children like them too.
I hope that you keep writing these types of poems. I enjoyed this one.

Nichola

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Nichola - glad you enjoyed.

    Steve
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A very cute childrens counting poem, Steve :) I totally agree with you, they're hard. However, they're so much fun when done. Brooke would be proud. Regarding the chapter numbers, they are way out of whack. I asked Tom to fix it. Maybe need to ask again.

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Joy.

    I had this alarming image of Brooke trying to slog through 10,000 tribute poems....

    Steve
Comment from I am Cat
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

'not easy finding fresh and original ways to bump off nine pirates and keep it appropriate for young kids. '

LOL, I don't think I"ve laughed quite so hard at author notes before! THAT cracked me up!
And i think, you can make a book as long as you like on the internet! lol

my favorite part:
Four pirates all drank too much rum,
Now here's the mystery...
Just how did one fall overboard?
For that left only three.

I thought this was SO much fun and was reminded of Sea World's show they have in San Antonio called The Pirates of Penzance... It's so much fun and they sing rhymes and they have seals and sea lions and even a cute little otter who is a burglar. lol

I can see the Pirates in Disney's ride Pirates of The Caribbean also chanting a tale like this as they pick off the pirates one by one while you float through...
Brooke will absolutely love this!
Well done!
I wish I had a six to give, I would give it gladly!
Love it!
Cat

 Comment Written 08-Jun-2015


reply by the author on 09-Jun-2015
    Thanks, Cat.

    Yes, pirates are fun - the imaginary ones anyway! I have a couple of other pirate poems in my portfolio - one recurring character, Cheezel the Weasel, is a retired pirate who gets to go to a Pirates' convention. When I was writing that one I discovered that Saturday Night Live had also done a spoof involving a Pirates' Convention which is on YouTube...

    Thanks again for the great review.

    Steve