Reviews from

Beautiful Death

Viewing comments for Chapter 10014 "The happening"
from birth I have longed for death

5 total reviews 
Comment from Walu Feral
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G'day Coral. Very well done mate, you are begininng to master this poetry thing now. It is getting better and better with every post and I am proud of you....

A couple of suggestions but they are no big deal...

"Each time life
new began
hope to(-to)
followed again"

"pride makes us
pay our way
we cannot say
no thanks
ill(I'II) be on my way"

Cheers Fez




 Comment Written 31-May-2015


reply by the author on 31-May-2015
    I love hearing from you!

    I wish your kind help would stick in my mind.
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
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In spite of the melancholy of the poem, it is quite beautiful, and full of a lot of truth and feeling. I think a lot of us feel trapped by a situation or person from time to time, but in the end, you come through it with a wonderful attitude. Still a mother, it rings through all your poetry and stories. You must be a wonderful person to call, Mother!

Rhonda

 Comment Written 29-May-2015


reply by the author on 29-May-2015
    You give me too much credit.

    Thank's
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 29-May-2015
    No, you are a great person, and have shared your own feelings, that many of us can relate to,
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
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Good job Cbat!! Nice poem expressing genuine feelings and memories. Free verse with good sound. Nice format, easy to read. I am very proud of you.

Your friend,
Gypsy

 Comment Written 29-May-2015


reply by the author on 29-May-2015
    Thank you.
Comment from JourneyHolm
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This was a cool poem. I almost didn't recognize the rhyme scheme. It reminded me of a someone on a rights rampage or tirade to define who they are in their mind. There are a lot of powerful lines that speak some deep truth to me throughout this piece. Thank you for sharing. Also, looking at your profile, I am extremely curious what "religion/cult" you were raised in. Care to share?

 Comment Written 29-May-2015


reply by the author on 29-May-2015
    I try to keep a low profile, but am finding myself writing of things that my past and current children could be hurt by.

    I was born, raised and married into polygamy. My children were also raised this way.

    Most are now free, but I am searching for a daughter.

    Thank you for your kind words, I actually have never learned how to write poetry.
Comment from inside echo
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A truly sad poem. Sad in so many ways. The loss of such independence, control, life, as it was once known, friends, family and self....dignity, pride, and memories. Getting or rather reaching our oldest years is not a happy journey for many. Sadly. Sad also that missing a days worth of meds can bring you so down, I am sorry you struggle. It, your poem is so descriptive, so full of emotion and heart wrenching. Well written. Well done. Thank you for sharing.
echo

 Comment Written 29-May-2015


reply by the author on 29-May-2015
    Thank you!
    I have taken my meds and now feel silly, feeling sorry for myself.

    I have so much to enjoy and be thankful for.
reply by inside echo on 29-May-2015
    You are most welcome. Silly is good. Enjoy.