A Fall From Grace
It's deadly at the top...46 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Oh You Ate One Too!
Excellent horror story. Somehow I knew she had switched the drinks.
For some strange reason, in my mind Grace sounded like Marilyn Monroe.
Are you Bruce? Would you grwo as far as killing the number one writer on FanStory?
hahaha...
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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Oh You Ate One Too!
Excellent horror story. Somehow I knew she had switched the drinks.
For some strange reason, in my mind Grace sounded like Marilyn Monroe.
Are you Bruce? Would you grwo as far as killing the number one writer on FanStory?
hahaha...
Comment Written 02-Jun-2015
reply by the author on 02-Jun-2015
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Heck no, Gypsy! I wouldn't wish being at the top spot on this website on my worst enemy, lol. Way too competitive for me up there in #1. I just do my thing and hope for the best, and wherever I end up at the end of the year, and if I did my best, then that's all I can ask for. It's too expensive to promote highly enough to stay at Numero Uno here.
I did have Mayilyn in mind when I created Grace's character. That's pretty doggone perceptive of you. Remember her role in "Some Like it Hot"? Yep, I'm a Marilyn lover too. I heard JFK was too, but we won't go there...
Thanks for digging this one up and taking a run at it. I really appreciate it. :)
~Dean
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I am still a newbie and learning as a trod along. I can tell there is a deep friendship among old timers. I think that is neat.
Comment from Joy Graham
Oh my goodness, you have evil thoughts swimming in your imagination. Killing to get the top ranking. Your secret's out of the bag now lol! You gave me chills anticipating this horror story.
So you think a profile picture showing an over abundance of cleavage might get me more reviews? I have definitely been doing it all wrong. Tsk, tsk.
I like the hyphen word of ass-ets. Spell check wants to call it ass-eats and ass-eyes lol! I fought and won my right to type in ass-ets. Oyvay!
The old switch the poisoned coffee trick. Good twist at the end. It doesn't pay to be nasty.
I enjoyed your story.
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Oh my goodness, you have evil thoughts swimming in your imagination. Killing to get the top ranking. Your secret's out of the bag now lol! You gave me chills anticipating this horror story.
So you think a profile picture showing an over abundance of cleavage might get me more reviews? I have definitely been doing it all wrong. Tsk, tsk.
I like the hyphen word of ass-ets. Spell check wants to call it ass-eats and ass-eyes lol! I fought and won my right to type in ass-ets. Oyvay!
The old switch the poisoned coffee trick. Good twist at the end. It doesn't pay to be nasty.
I enjoyed your story.
Comment Written 26-May-2015
reply by the author on 26-May-2015
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Thank you, Joy. I appreciate you taking the time to read the story and offer up your rather...unique insights into the narrative, lol. I had lots of fun writing it, and reading your review.
Thanks again, and as always, pleasant screams, heh-heh...
~Dean
Comment from MissMerri
Well, this incredibly believable story made me thankful I'm no where near number one in anything. LOL Dear Brucie got what he deserved, I guess, but what will be the payback for Grace? You do have the rare ability to create fantastic far-out stories, and then to tell them in such believable narrative and dialogue, they seem not at all far-fetched. The excellent dialogue told much about the different characters, as did the detailed descriptions. They became very clear and recognizable soon after each was introduced. The well-chosen details helped to make the scenes as vivid as a TV show and I was quite caught up in the suspense you created early in the story. I was not able to stop reading this once I began it. You are an excellent story-teller, Dean. I wish you much luck in this contest. I think this tale will strike fear into the heart of anyone who lives on this site. ;p
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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Well, this incredibly believable story made me thankful I'm no where near number one in anything. LOL Dear Brucie got what he deserved, I guess, but what will be the payback for Grace? You do have the rare ability to create fantastic far-out stories, and then to tell them in such believable narrative and dialogue, they seem not at all far-fetched. The excellent dialogue told much about the different characters, as did the detailed descriptions. They became very clear and recognizable soon after each was introduced. The well-chosen details helped to make the scenes as vivid as a TV show and I was quite caught up in the suspense you created early in the story. I was not able to stop reading this once I began it. You are an excellent story-teller, Dean. I wish you much luck in this contest. I think this tale will strike fear into the heart of anyone who lives on this site. ;p
Comment Written 23-May-2015
reply by the author on 25-May-2015
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I'm thankful I'm not either, MissMerri, heh-heh-heh....
I'm very happy to know you were entertained while reading this story. I'm also thankful knowing that it held your attention, given its length. Your warm and complimentary comments are sincerely appreciated, my friend.
Thanks so much again, and have a safe & happy Memorial Day. :)
~Dean
Comment from TomyKan
Well written. Good suspense and a nice turn around. You are very descriptive, and I loved many of your turn of phrases, i.e. "cancerous growth", reptilian hide". Well done.
reply by the author on 22-May-2015
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Well written. Good suspense and a nice turn around. You are very descriptive, and I loved many of your turn of phrases, i.e. "cancerous growth", reptilian hide". Well done.
Comment Written 22-May-2015
reply by the author on 22-May-2015
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Thanks so much, TomyKan. I'm pleased that you took the time required to read my rather lengthy story in the first place, but I appreciate even more your outstanding feedback ie, what worked for you in the narrative and dialogue.
Thanks so much again for reading. I'm very happy to know that you enjoyed it. :)
~Dean
Comment from Ridley Williams
Hello Dean,
Hmmmm, great question in the author's notes. I guess it all comes down to how bad you want the title...yikes!
Nice job in the story with the old switch-a-roo, lol. I guy has got to know his limitations. Grace obviously knew how to play to his ego...tisk, tisk, such a fragile vase, that one.
Looks like a solid entry, buddy, I wish you my best for your stories success.
Have a great afternoon,
Bill
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Hello Dean,
Hmmmm, great question in the author's notes. I guess it all comes down to how bad you want the title...yikes!
Nice job in the story with the old switch-a-roo, lol. I guy has got to know his limitations. Grace obviously knew how to play to his ego...tisk, tisk, such a fragile vase, that one.
Looks like a solid entry, buddy, I wish you my best for your stories success.
Have a great afternoon,
Bill
Comment Written 21-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Hey, thanks a million for reading this rather hefty post first of all, Bill. I sincerely appreciate you taking the time to do so. I'm also very grateful for your fantastic feedback and kind support with the six stars. I used all of mine up two days ago...a record for me, I think!
I'm very pleased that you enjoyed the story. I'll see you in the funny pages! ;)
~Dean
Comment from evilynne
Hey,that was fun to read! I know that no one would go to such lengths to get to the top at FanStory, but I'm glad I'm nowhere near the top, just in case! Heh, heh. Evi
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Hey,that was fun to read! I know that no one would go to such lengths to get to the top at FanStory, but I'm glad I'm nowhere near the top, just in case! Heh, heh. Evi
Comment Written 21-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Hey, Evi. Hope you're having a good night.
I sincerely appreciate your supportive comments and great feedback for this rather long story. I really appreciate you taking the time to read it. Thanks too for the six stars, I'm very grateful for that each and every time you feel generous enough to do so.
Thanks again, my friend. I'm really happy that you enjoyed the story. ~Dean
Comment from justafan
MMMM....I certainly won't have to worry with anyone wanting to "knock" me off...This was a great read and a lil scary too! Your knack for horror in the most ordinary of places is delicious Dean. I don't have to tell you "Well done" but I want to...Very well done :)
Always justafan,
Missy
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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MMMM....I certainly won't have to worry with anyone wanting to "knock" me off...This was a great read and a lil scary too! Your knack for horror in the most ordinary of places is delicious Dean. I don't have to tell you "Well done" but I want to...Very well done :)
Always justafan,
Missy
Comment Written 21-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Thanks, Missy. I'm happy to know that you liked the story, and I sincerely appreciate your encouraging comments. I never have to worry about being number one either. I don't have enough funny money, or the real money to buy it, to promote my writing highly enough, or consistently enough, to reach that lofty status. But hey, all we can do is try to put our best efforts "out there", and hope that enough people will care enough, and be interested enough, to read what we're offering.
I'm glad you took the time to read and review mine today.
All my best, Missy, and thanks again!
~Dean ;}
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You are most welcome kind sir :)
Comment from bookishfabler
Absolutely delicious. Though I did know there would be a switch of coffee somewhere, this was a lot of fun.
"Yeah, me too, Brucie. How long (have) you been writing on that site? Four...five years now?(")
The (have) is if she doesn't talk like this. She may very well skip (have)
I have to say, this is a page turner. I love it.
"Nope, sorry Bruce, there is no Mr. Burgenstein. (You're a liar!) The man you spoke with, that was all prearranged, darlin'. His name is Glenn Palto.
Is Bruce saying You're a liar, or Grace? If Bruce, you need parenthesis.
hugs Heidi
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Absolutely delicious. Though I did know there would be a switch of coffee somewhere, this was a lot of fun.
"Yeah, me too, Brucie. How long (have) you been writing on that site? Four...five years now?(")
The (have) is if she doesn't talk like this. She may very well skip (have)
I have to say, this is a page turner. I love it.
"Nope, sorry Bruce, there is no Mr. Burgenstein. (You're a liar!) The man you spoke with, that was all prearranged, darlin'. His name is Glenn Palto.
Is Bruce saying You're a liar, or Grace? If Bruce, you need parenthesis.
hugs Heidi
Comment Written 21-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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Thanks for reading, Heidi, and for the awesome feedback as well. I appreciate it very much. ~Dean "}
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Great job. Lots of fun.
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;)
Comment from Tellis
This is a really great story and it is funny too. I didn't find any grammar spags but there is one thing you might want to change. (Arsenic doesn't smell like almonds, it's supposed to smell a little like garlic according to what I read on the internet. I think it is a slow acting poison. The one you want is called cyanide. This one is fast acting and smells of almonds.) This is just something I thought needed clarifying but won't really change the story. Some people get mad when I try to set things straight. So I hope you don't take it that way. Excellent story.
Tellis
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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This is a really great story and it is funny too. I didn't find any grammar spags but there is one thing you might want to change. (Arsenic doesn't smell like almonds, it's supposed to smell a little like garlic according to what I read on the internet. I think it is a slow acting poison. The one you want is called cyanide. This one is fast acting and smells of almonds.) This is just something I thought needed clarifying but won't really change the story. Some people get mad when I try to set things straight. So I hope you don't take it that way. Excellent story.
Tellis
Comment Written 21-May-2015
reply by the author on 21-May-2015
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You know something, Tellis? You're absolutely right, what a major goof on my part! I'm glad you caught it for me, however, and I've already made the switch. At least, I'm fairly certain I got them all changed over to cyanide.
Other than that, I'm pleased that you enjoyed the story enough to award it the most generous rating there is available -- a six star rating. We get so few of them to award our fellow writers, I'm always grateful when I am fortunate enough to receive one myself. Thanks for catching my snafu, and for reading such a lengthy story. I very much appreciate your effort and support.
All my best...~Dean
Comment from Alan K Pease
Your writing is built on success in writing in a number of venues to give you full credit. If you succeed it will be one of exercising your awesome ability to write.
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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Your writing is built on success in writing in a number of venues to give you full credit. If you succeed it will be one of exercising your awesome ability to write.
Comment Written 20-May-2015
reply by the author on 20-May-2015
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Thanks, Alan, that is very kind of you to say. I'm just an old story-teller from w-a-a-a-a-y-y back, my friend. To me, there is nothing that can transport you & your imagination to more places better than a well told story. So, I do try very hard to give anyone who cares enough to read what I've written the very best I have to offer. I was always the kid at camping outings around a blazing fire who had the kids crying, and running for their mommy's tents, lol. Like Gordy, from the film "Stand By Me", if you've ever seen it.
Thanks again for the outstanding feedback and six star rating. I sincerely appreciate your support, Alan...and YOU! :)
~Dean
