Reviews from

Christine's Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 128 "Mums Favourites"
Poems /stories on Fanstory

4 total reviews 
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
Excellent
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I thought this was excellent. A lovely poem from a Mom to her children. Be careful of the line "my second favourite boy" - they are all the same right! None is first. Great job - wonderful.

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Thank you for that review and yes I tried not to show favouritism in writing this and chose the word second favourite boy and son in the same line hoping that this would convey that he being my second boy is also my favourite too it was hard to try and come up with a line that didn't sound like favouritism as it is a standing joke at home that they all think he s my favourite which is not true so diplomacy is always needed . However I do love and admire them all equally and tried to let them know with their individual verses so thank you for you lovely comments I do appreciate your time Cheers Christine 😆
reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Hi Michael I think the line should read 'My favourite second boy ' instead of my second favourite boy what do you think Christine
Comment from pharp
Excellent
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Excellent job my friend, beautifully penned showing much love for your children. It really shows how proud your are of them. Your poem has a very smooth flow, excellent rhyming and rhythm.

Check the third stanza first line "I've watched you grow into you are"
I've watched you grow into "who" you are

Also a suggestion: I would always use the word "that" and the word "and" a lot in my poems, until one of the reviewer told me my poems would flow smoother if I would omit them when I could. If worked, however there are times when I forget, so I go over and over until if feels right for me.. Just thought I would pass it on.
I really enjoyed the read. Blessings Pharp

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Thanks Pharp for your great feedback and yes that was the one line 'who you are that I struggled to get the flow right I actually had 'into who " but didn't seem to flow exactly and perhaps could have also put 'I've watched you grow to who you are' What do you think? also I will keep in mind the use of 'that 'and ,'and' they often just seem to fit in don't they to keep the rhythm so I value you comments . Cheers Chris 😆
reply by pharp on 15-May-2015
    I agree with you, I think you should put
    "I've watched you grow to who you are"
reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Thanks Pharp I will make this change Cheers
reply by Anonymous Member on 18-May-2015
    I agree with you, I think you should put
    "I've watched you grow to who you are"
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Excellent
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What a terrific mom you are. I like the shining lights of love and kiss your cheer and hug you tight. Children are precious to us, every day. With country hearts and laughter, children keep us young and full of joy. Well written.

My daughter, Monica, graduated on Saturday from the University of Minnesota. She is flying to New York next week, for a teaching conference in psychology. Our children bloom with love.

God bless you and your precious family! flylikeaneagle

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Thank you so much for you lovely comments and yes our children are everything and I have three beaut ones they are all grown up and it has been a pleasure to watch them evolve into great Adult. cheers Chris
Comment from Lesley Collier
Excellent
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A wonderful rhyming poem showing the love of a mother for her three children as she watches them grow with pride and portrays the special feelings she has for each and every one of them. Very touching and well written!

 Comment Written 15-May-2015


reply by the author on 15-May-2015
    Thank you for you great feedback I enjoyed writing this one as the subjects were easy to write about and they all call themselves Mums favourite so I tried to be very diplomatic Cheers Chris