Beautiful Death
Viewing comments for Chapter 10001 "La-Faia/ugly one"from birth I have longed for death
5 total reviews
Comment from davisr (Rhonda)
This is a good and honest story where you tell much of your life's experiences. As I told you before, I am familiar with many of the traditions you are talking about, so, maybe, it gives me an insight other's might not have.
I'm glad that you have stepped out to write the story, although, I think you are way too hard on yourself. You sound like a very beautiful person! God Bless,
Rhonda
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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This is a good and honest story where you tell much of your life's experiences. As I told you before, I am familiar with many of the traditions you are talking about, so, maybe, it gives me an insight other's might not have.
I'm glad that you have stepped out to write the story, although, I think you are way too hard on yourself. You sound like a very beautiful person! God Bless,
Rhonda
Comment Written 18-May-2015
reply by the author on 18-May-2015
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Thank you.
Often when I speak what I know is truth it is perceived as modesty or untrue.
Actually I have heard about my physical imperfections since born, as we get older we all seem to melt a little and I just don't worry much about body image as long as it still works.
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Now there you are quite right! In the end, we all end up looking about the same. You have a good attitude!
Comment from chasennov
Chapter 10001 of the book Beautiful Death yesterday's wife
"La-Faia/ugly one" This story you have created here is absolutely amazing. I can see where you are coming from and just wonder at the things men get up to in this world of ours. A lovely story, because you told it like it was. Well done.
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Chapter 10001 of the book Beautiful Death yesterday's wife
"La-Faia/ugly one" This story you have created here is absolutely amazing. I can see where you are coming from and just wonder at the things men get up to in this world of ours. A lovely story, because you told it like it was. Well done.
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Thank you much!
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You're welcome.
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Coral, I'm still laughing about the pie! I'm a qualified chef (retired) and I made many things I wanted to hide in the feezer and throw over the fence LOL. Very enjoyable chapter mate and very sad. Beauty is only skin deep as they say and is also in the eye of the beholder, I think you are beautiful even if you don't my friend....
A couple of suggestions...
" telling me it was Gods(God's) will that I marry, and whom I was to marry."
"My grand father(grandfather) and great grandfather"
" Every where(Everywhere) these beautiful women went they were treated like royalty."
"with his position money was not an option(-option..+problem) to them and they spent freely."
"Grandfather also owned a huge beautiful home in salt lake(Salt Lake) and often"
"We lift(left) town immediately after returning to salt lake(Salt Lake) so he could" attend school."
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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G'day Coral, I'm still laughing about the pie! I'm a qualified chef (retired) and I made many things I wanted to hide in the feezer and throw over the fence LOL. Very enjoyable chapter mate and very sad. Beauty is only skin deep as they say and is also in the eye of the beholder, I think you are beautiful even if you don't my friend....
A couple of suggestions...
" telling me it was Gods(God's) will that I marry, and whom I was to marry."
"My grand father(grandfather) and great grandfather"
" Every where(Everywhere) these beautiful women went they were treated like royalty."
"with his position money was not an option(-option..+problem) to them and they spent freely."
"Grandfather also owned a huge beautiful home in salt lake(Salt Lake) and often"
"We lift(left) town immediately after returning to salt lake(Salt Lake) so he could" attend school."
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 16-May-2015
reply by the author on 17-May-2015
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Thank you so much again.
Because I do not retain things in my memory, I try to correct things fast..
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I love your story; it's very genuine and heartfelt. You do a great job writing it. I feel your pain and the sense of the wasted years, you deserve better. I am a mother, and I had beautiful children from the marriage, so I understand how you can feel good about leaving the wrong type of husband but feeling grateful for the children you had from that marriage.
I was married to a Mormon for a year, after a year he did something horribly wrong and I left him and the religion. There were parts about the religion that attracted me, like the sense of being part of a large family, and feeling of being taken care of. To me, the Mormon religion is more like a science fiction story than a true religion. But, this is just my feeling.
I found a few punctuation errors, nothing serious but you may want to correct them.~
-He was kind to me and loved my father, add an I before loved
-This man was ............l. under his (fathers control), apostrophy in father's;
-also in the same paragraph, returning to salt lake, Salt Lake should be capitalized)
-The next time....my grandfather Married us. (married us) it should be lower cap
-We lift town ...... lift should be left
-(on same paragraph)...fathers (needs and apostrophy-- father's
-Everything that followed...... shock and pain full (painful) one word
-The "Group" had......" And A meeting .... (the a should be lower cap)
reply by the author on 15-May-2015
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I love your story; it's very genuine and heartfelt. You do a great job writing it. I feel your pain and the sense of the wasted years, you deserve better. I am a mother, and I had beautiful children from the marriage, so I understand how you can feel good about leaving the wrong type of husband but feeling grateful for the children you had from that marriage.
I was married to a Mormon for a year, after a year he did something horribly wrong and I left him and the religion. There were parts about the religion that attracted me, like the sense of being part of a large family, and feeling of being taken care of. To me, the Mormon religion is more like a science fiction story than a true religion. But, this is just my feeling.
I found a few punctuation errors, nothing serious but you may want to correct them.~
-He was kind to me and loved my father, add an I before loved
-This man was ............l. under his (fathers control), apostrophy in father's;
-also in the same paragraph, returning to salt lake, Salt Lake should be capitalized)
-The next time....my grandfather Married us. (married us) it should be lower cap
-We lift town ...... lift should be left
-(on same paragraph)...fathers (needs and apostrophy-- father's
-Everything that followed...... shock and pain full (painful) one word
-The "Group" had......" And A meeting .... (the a should be lower cap)
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 15-May-2015
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Thank you for your help, and kind words.
Sadly almost everything especially beliefs, can be made to look easier than they are, the ugly truths are concealed.
Comment from Michael Ludwinder
This is an amazing story. Just wonderful that you are sharing your life here. I would encourage you to continue with this because it's fascinating to read.
My suggestion for improvement would be to slow down. You have a lot to share and you seem to move throught it at a rather quick pace.
>>When this young man looked at my family I was the last one he would have chosen.
Now you don't know that. You may think that. But you don't know that. Why not compare yourself to your other sisters. Show us how they act at meeting him. What makes them attractive. Do they act in such a way that makes them attractive. Slow down. Let's see this as the readers. Let's feel your thought sas this happens. Let's learn more about him as this happens and how he reacts (sounds like he reacts well). And you say it's because of his father that he acts this way - what gives that away? Does he constantly look at his father to see if there is disapproval.
A terrific story. Really interesting to read.
reply by the author on 15-May-2015
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This is an amazing story. Just wonderful that you are sharing your life here. I would encourage you to continue with this because it's fascinating to read.
My suggestion for improvement would be to slow down. You have a lot to share and you seem to move throught it at a rather quick pace.
>>When this young man looked at my family I was the last one he would have chosen.
Now you don't know that. You may think that. But you don't know that. Why not compare yourself to your other sisters. Show us how they act at meeting him. What makes them attractive. Do they act in such a way that makes them attractive. Slow down. Let's see this as the readers. Let's feel your thought sas this happens. Let's learn more about him as this happens and how he reacts (sounds like he reacts well). And you say it's because of his father that he acts this way - what gives that away? Does he constantly look at his father to see if there is disapproval.
A terrific story. Really interesting to read.
Comment Written 15-May-2015
reply by the author on 15-May-2015
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Thank you! I like hearing your thoughts.
My mind sometimes forgets to run my thoughts through the thinking process.
Much of what spills out has deeper reasons and actual proof of what I say.
Details are avoided most times because of my married life involving a lot of people I want to protect, or perhaps I am just protecting myself.
This was written at least ten years ago, every truth eventually surfaces.
Many of my sisters were close to 6 feet tall, all to me were beautiful and always drew attention.
getting old makes us all look alike, Ha Ha.
