Act of Endurance
Viewing comments for Chapter 14 "Loss"Dawn of Chaos
47 total reviews
Comment from keimosobie
Okay its a little different. I think the words make it a little tough to follow.
I had to keep reading it like some of the words were written in reverse order or something. I get that it was a ship that sank. Lotion frigid ocean
Not sure what that meant.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2020
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Okay its a little different. I think the words make it a little tough to follow.
I had to keep reading it like some of the words were written in reverse order or something. I get that it was a ship that sank. Lotion frigid ocean
Not sure what that meant.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2020
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Lotion or cover so I thought perhaps not, considering your statements having flaws in my writes, thanking you for generous rate dispute and appreciated remarks.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
No more loss, no more falling, voyagers are safe on secure order of voyages; well said, well done, thank you for sharing this free verse poem; wish you good luck for the contest.
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2020
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No more loss, no more falling, voyagers are safe on secure order of voyages; well said, well done, thank you for sharing this free verse poem; wish you good luck for the contest.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2020
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I thank you, appreciating your interests in this particular read, finding a true love to read reader. Thanking you for your generous rate and warming feeling.
Comment from skyer111
A lot of reading in this poem and good lines to describe the flow of events upon this ship destined for disaster I found it did dwell a lot on the the ending and felt more could have gone into the emotion of the poem but that's only my opinion enjoyed just the same well done
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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A lot of reading in this poem and good lines to describe the flow of events upon this ship destined for disaster I found it did dwell a lot on the the ending and felt more could have gone into the emotion of the poem but that's only my opinion enjoyed just the same well done
Comment Written 11-Apr-2020
reply by the author on 19-Apr-2020
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Your thoughts are not far off suffering pits most of my writes, pleased certain aspects were appealing to your interests. Thanking you for your generous rate and appreciated viewpoint prevailing this work.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
The picture through me off because it says: Norwegian Gem but it's supposed to be the Titanic.
It's an interesting look at an old tragedy from a different point of view. Good job.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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The picture through me off because it says: Norwegian Gem but it's supposed to be the Titanic.
It's an interesting look at an old tragedy from a different point of view. Good job.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2016
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Thank you new revisions have improved this image: not really about Titantic as one being aware. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from frogbook
A sad story always, told her in a different and interesting way. I especially liked the last lines that were very thought provoking. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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A sad story always, told her in a different and interesting way. I especially liked the last lines that were very thought provoking. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Glad you found pleasure in this write as revisions of grammars are undertaken. Thanking you for generous rate and touching sentiments.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello TPAC
You have an interesting way of writing prose like its free verse. I sounds like you are relating to the chaos of what happened on the Titanic when you wrote-
Craft turns from design it's not level on water swirled in a spin upwards: its eternal invincibility to be tipped.
Water flood innards it sinks craft by proof the challenge ended; god funneled into big whirlpool: craft gone in suck.
I think it would be best if you found a picture of the Titanic rather than the Norwegian Gem
Gert
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Hello TPAC
You have an interesting way of writing prose like its free verse. I sounds like you are relating to the chaos of what happened on the Titanic when you wrote-
Craft turns from design it's not level on water swirled in a spin upwards: its eternal invincibility to be tipped.
Water flood innards it sinks craft by proof the challenge ended; god funneled into big whirlpool: craft gone in suck.
I think it would be best if you found a picture of the Titanic rather than the Norwegian Gem
Gert
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Yeah it would be good if this was my set interests in this write: more a warning of being on guard then ship sunk. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
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You re welcome TPAC
Gert
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
The sinking of the Titanic was indeed a terrible tragedy, nearly a hundred years ago. I think you have written this in your native language and used an on-line translator. I tried that after writing in English and translating into Spanish, it doesn't work. I'm afraid you need do check this out a bit more, my friend. Well done for trying. :) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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The sinking of the Titanic was indeed a terrible tragedy, nearly a hundred years ago. I think you have written this in your native language and used an on-line translator. I tried that after writing in English and translating into Spanish, it doesn't work. I'm afraid you need do check this out a bit more, my friend. Well done for trying. :) Sandra xx
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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I,m slowly getting these statements about flaws, even though I hold my opinion about these views. Apparently more meat in syntax. Thanking you for generous rate and encouraging statements.
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You are very welcome. :) xx
Comment from TDWriter
not my usual poetry style i prefer and never the less, i like it. Well Done my friend. Paints a picture in the mind. Mans audacity to claim his own greatness always fails when reality hits... Enjoyed the read and thank you very much for sharing.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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not my usual poetry style i prefer and never the less, i like it. Well Done my friend. Paints a picture in the mind. Mans audacity to claim his own greatness always fails when reality hits... Enjoyed the read and thank you very much for sharing.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Working on pits for proper grammatical read. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
Comment from Susanne M. Psyris
I loved the intent of the poem: to describe all the chaos of the sinking of the Titanic, but was so terribly distracted by the poor use of words and the structure of the poem. I can clearly see English is not your first language, but I have to go by the guidelines of awarding ratings accordingly. I think, even giving it three stars, I have been generous. I live very near the museum for the Titanic (located in Indian Orchard, Massachusetts) and have visited it several times read the newspaper articles surrounding this tragedy and look at all the memorabilia they have there. You have a strong story to be told, but you need some assistance with the language. I believe, with some help, you could turn this into a good entry for the contest. I wish you luck. Should you edit, I will gladly come back for a second review and possibly up the rating, if appropriate. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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I loved the intent of the poem: to describe all the chaos of the sinking of the Titanic, but was so terribly distracted by the poor use of words and the structure of the poem. I can clearly see English is not your first language, but I have to go by the guidelines of awarding ratings accordingly. I think, even giving it three stars, I have been generous. I live very near the museum for the Titanic (located in Indian Orchard, Massachusetts) and have visited it several times read the newspaper articles surrounding this tragedy and look at all the memorabilia they have there. You have a strong story to be told, but you need some assistance with the language. I believe, with some help, you could turn this into a good entry for the contest. I wish you luck. Should you edit, I will gladly come back for a second review and possibly up the rating, if appropriate. Good luck in the contest. God bless and hugs, Susanne
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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I do have problems with my writes and am trying to understand reviews statements about them. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed insights to assist my efforts.
Comment from William Ross
Nice job on the free verse I won't go on cruise ships, not so much the fear of sinking or rough waters but they are floating targets for isis, i'm waiting for the first to be blown up or captured. good luck on this
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Nice job on the free verse I won't go on cruise ships, not so much the fear of sinking or rough waters but they are floating targets for isis, i'm waiting for the first to be blown up or captured. good luck on this
Comment Written 10-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2016
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Never been on a big ship but love rowboat fishing, being on water has its effect. Thanking you for generous rate and welcomed thoughts.
