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Viewing comments for Chapter 40 "potus"
Shorter stories

14 total reviews 
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
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Mother always gives good advice, and this dear mother gave the best for her son. I'm sure he could become the pant antler a these U- nite- ed stets um 'merica. I'm still voting for Ned!! :)) Sandra xx

 Comment Written 07-May-2022


reply by the author on 07-May-2022
    Good old Ma.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
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I enjoyed your short story. It was almost like I could hear it being spoken. I am familiar with all of the words you used in the dialect.

Good job with telling a story in a small amount of space.

Does everyone know what [potus] means?

Good job. I see no changes. Thanks for sharing.

 Comment Written 03-May-2015


reply by the author on 03-May-2015
    Thank you, jannypan, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Pam (respa)
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-The title was intriguing when I saw it in the story listing.
-So, thinking one thing, and reading another was interesting.
-The first thing I observed is your excellent use of a southern dialect.
-Ma is quite a character, and probably has a lot of stories to tell.
-Clever writing with so few words to use.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you for the excellent review. Bill
reply by Pam (respa) on 30-Apr-2015
    You are very welcome.
Comment from giraffmang
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Hi Bill,

Nice job with this one.
I had to read it a few times to get the accent down right!
Nice play on POTUS too.

good job
GMG

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, GMG, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Nosha17
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I didn't know what Potus meant till I looked it up. Guess even tramps and pan-handlers can aim higher, ambition is the key. Good touch of irony and well written story. Faye

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Faye, for the excellent review. As I was considering a title I realized that Panhandler of the United States would also be POTUS.
Comment from costellsgirl33
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I started reading this and I thought, boy there's a lot of bad spelling! lol!
But as I read more, I realized it was intentional. I'm from Alabama and people really do speak like that. I know not just in Alabama though, lol!

Some people don't set there standards very high.............

This could be a very interesting story

Way to start :)

Good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Arnetta, for giving this a look. Bill
reply by costellsgirl33 on 30-Apr-2015
    Bill,

    You are most welcome :)

    Arnetta
reply by Anonymous Member on 06-May-2015
    Bill,

    You are most welcome :)

    Arnetta
Comment from Brett Matthew West
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Good message in this once you get past the heavy accent. Lot of truth too. Story well told. You can be anything you want to be in this great land we lovingly call the United States of America. Write on.

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Brett, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from humpwhistle
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Actually, panhandling is time-consuming, if not particularly hard work. I don't recommend it.
Like the dialect, though I still haven't translated the
title.

Peace, Lee



"Your daddy," she began, --'she began' tripped me up, because I thought she had already spoken the first line. Now, I assume, you mean the first line to be read as a familiar axiom. Perhaps putting that first line in italics, instead of quotes would alleviate the confusion.


 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, Lee, for reviewing this. I see what you mean. It probably is confusing. POTUS is the acronym for the President of the United States (as opposed to the Panhandler of the U.S.). I thought of it as I was thinking of a title. Happy day.
reply by humpwhistle on 30-Apr-2015
    Thanks for the translate. I couldn't figure it out. L
Comment from A TARNISHED KNIGHT
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a thousand words said in a hundred Bill..Great job with this including the slang talk.. As always it's a delight to read your work
tk

 Comment Written 30-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, TK, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from emkoutny
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Hi Bill,
You sure have been busy! I had to read this twice to get it. The title pulls it all together. Funny stuff!

 Comment Written 29-Apr-2015


reply by the author on 30-Apr-2015
    Thank you, em, for the excellent review. Bill