A Touch of Insecurity
flash fiction-603 words18 total reviews
Comment from Gunner Lil
I enjoy reading and writing flash fiction. You really got into this poor guys mind
with his paranoia problems. He needs a vacation. Easy to follow and the threesome was a surprise.
Thank you!
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I enjoy reading and writing flash fiction. You really got into this poor guys mind
with his paranoia problems. He needs a vacation. Easy to follow and the threesome was a surprise.
Thank you!
Comment Written 09-May-2015
Comment from Brett Matthew West
Interesting notes. Serves her right. Action flows smoothly. Easy to follow and understand story line. Descriptive lnguage well used throughout. Write on.
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Interesting notes. Serves her right. Action flows smoothly. Easy to follow and understand story line. Descriptive lnguage well used throughout. Write on.
Comment Written 01-May-2015
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was GOOD!!! Mikey, I never have a 6 left when I read you, you must post earlier!! This one was brilliant. How the mind can take an innocent meeting and turn it into something horrific. Goodness me, you certainly can tell a great story. Good luck in the contest, I think you stand more than huge chance at winning this one. xsx Sandra.
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That was GOOD!!! Mikey, I never have a 6 left when I read you, you must post earlier!! This one was brilliant. How the mind can take an innocent meeting and turn it into something horrific. Goodness me, you certainly can tell a great story. Good luck in the contest, I think you stand more than huge chance at winning this one. xsx Sandra.
Comment Written 30-Apr-2015
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
It is something to watch how the mind makes adjustments to what it is thinking
As the mind changes to compensate.
You hit the nail on the head.
Nicely done and I had to read over and over to get the full enjoyment of the piece
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It is something to watch how the mind makes adjustments to what it is thinking
As the mind changes to compensate.
You hit the nail on the head.
Nicely done and I had to read over and over to get the full enjoyment of the piece
Comment Written 30-Apr-2015
Comment from Nosha17
It is good advice, people do sometimes imagine things are going wrong when they really haven't, really just an overactive imagination. Well presented piece of flash fiction. We see the mind working overtime with the asides. Well narrated and good luck in the contest. Faye
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It is good advice, people do sometimes imagine things are going wrong when they really haven't, really just an overactive imagination. Well presented piece of flash fiction. We see the mind working overtime with the asides. Well narrated and good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
Comment from Tatarka2
This is funny, and so true-to-life, when it comes to the thought process of the paranoid (and aren't we all, a little?) I did think this was just a tad confusing, though. I'm not sure where the narrator is going here. A thought might be to conclude this with some kind of action on his part (maybe he confronts his wife, or commits some kind of violent or just intrusive action, like checking her phone or e-mails?) Just a suggestion, humbly offered.
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This is funny, and so true-to-life, when it comes to the thought process of the paranoid (and aren't we all, a little?) I did think this was just a tad confusing, though. I'm not sure where the narrator is going here. A thought might be to conclude this with some kind of action on his part (maybe he confronts his wife, or commits some kind of violent or just intrusive action, like checking her phone or e-mails?) Just a suggestion, humbly offered.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
Comment from livelylinda
Michael: your story is perfect and well-written. I spent 25 years in para-professional capacities in the mental health field. I knew many paranoid schizophrenic people. I asked a few if there was anything I could do to reassure them when they were feeling particularly paranoid. They always told me "no". "stop worrying about nothing" never worked. I remember one 30 year old guy who was minimally retarded and paranoid schizophrenic. He had watched one of the "Planet of the Apes" movies, the one where the apes are police and rounding up the humans. Every time he would hear a police helicopter, he was frightened that the apes were coming to get him, took all the sharp kitchen knives to his bedroom so that he could protect himself. Yes, fascinating work . . . Linda
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Michael: your story is perfect and well-written. I spent 25 years in para-professional capacities in the mental health field. I knew many paranoid schizophrenic people. I asked a few if there was anything I could do to reassure them when they were feeling particularly paranoid. They always told me "no". "stop worrying about nothing" never worked. I remember one 30 year old guy who was minimally retarded and paranoid schizophrenic. He had watched one of the "Planet of the Apes" movies, the one where the apes are police and rounding up the humans. Every time he would hear a police helicopter, he was frightened that the apes were coming to get him, took all the sharp kitchen knives to his bedroom so that he could protect himself. Yes, fascinating work . . . Linda
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
Comment from jpduck
Your guy was certainly paranoid ... in trumps. I enjoyed reading this, particularly the twist in the tail, which your guy, of course, instantly had to interpret as 'a threesome'.
Adrian
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Your guy was certainly paranoid ... in trumps. I enjoyed reading this, particularly the twist in the tail, which your guy, of course, instantly had to interpret as 'a threesome'.
Adrian
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
Comment from CR Delport
Yeah, how many times do we go look to find something that is not there, and then we convince ourselves that there is something there. This is interesting and well written. Good luck.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
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Yeah, how many times do we go look to find something that is not there, and then we convince ourselves that there is something there. This is interesting and well written. Good luck.
Have a great day.
Christelle.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
Comment from amahra
LOL! LOL! LOL! Loved it! Oh, my God. You did it. This was wonderful writing. I was engaged the whole time. Talk about paranoid. You did a magnificent job of keeping it real, funny, and entertaining. Great job, my friend.
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LOL! LOL! LOL! Loved it! Oh, my God. You did it. This was wonderful writing. I was engaged the whole time. Talk about paranoid. You did a magnificent job of keeping it real, funny, and entertaining. Great job, my friend.
Comment Written 29-Apr-2015
