Comment from Walu Feral

Excellent

G'day Coral. I enjoyed this one as well mate. That sounds like my kind of house, I'd love to see those cougars, they are so cool. It might be worth adding a chapter just dedicated to the raid and what happened and how you felt and what was said.

A couple of suggestions...

" they had a thin glass tops(top) that protected the flame and regulated the light."

" My arm had 20 stitches.(The cut on my arm recieved twenty stitches.)"

Cheers Fez

 Comment Written 09-May-2015

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reply by the author on 10-May-2015

Thanks again.

I think I submitted a short story on the Raid, but being mentally challenged I cannot remember exact name, so cannot find it.
The title had word "Chamber pots", in it.
I am trying to learn my way around "Fan Story" still.

Comment from Shirley McLain

Good

You have a lot of memories from that cabin in the woods. I would like to suggest that if you mention something it should be followed through such as the cougar chasing your mother. That was important action. What happened afterwards?

This small home was where I lived when "The Raid", came, I was three. This is the only sentence that I saw about "The Raid." The thought should be carried through also.
I hope this helps a little. Keep writing. Have a blessed day. Shirley

 Comment Written 08-May-2015

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reply by the author on 08-May-2015

Your points are great, my writing has so many short stories and I forget that someone reading does not see what I do.

Thank you for your help, I am going to try to correct this.

Comment from BJ_Barnes

Excellent

Great writing! It flows together very well and is easy to follow. Excellent imagery as well and you can definitely sense the emotion. Thank you so much for sharing it.

 Comment Written 08-May-2015

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reply by the author on 08-May-2015

Thank you.