Little Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 210 "Cold Waves"Small and Specialty Poems
9 total reviews
Comment from rod007
A crisp and clear poem that brings great imagery. I liked these lines the best:
"Their crystals,
sparkling,
breach
the shore
in frigid dance"
Well done, Tom.
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
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A crisp and clear poem that brings great imagery. I liked these lines the best:
"Their crystals,
sparkling,
breach
the shore
in frigid dance"
Well done, Tom.
Comment Written 25-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 25-Mar-2015
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Thank you rod.
Comment from ravenblack
In frigid dance with it's bold, cold reach- it is a waltz of two steps forward, one back between winter and spring. 5 inches of snow yesterday and close to 60° tomorrow.
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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In frigid dance with it's bold, cold reach- it is a waltz of two steps forward, one back between winter and spring. 5 inches of snow yesterday and close to 60° tomorrow.
Comment Written 24-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you Ravenblack . Yup, thats March for you.
Comment from adewpearl
I really like the short lines and enjambment and the way the thoughts flow down the page
excellent use of alliteration
good consonance in ice and snow and piled up and crystals sparkling
stunning detail of setting
good internal rhyme in bold/cold
I don't know this form, but you certainly do it justice :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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I really like the short lines and enjambment and the way the thoughts flow down the page
excellent use of alliteration
good consonance in ice and snow and piled up and crystals sparkling
stunning detail of setting
good internal rhyme in bold/cold
I don't know this form, but you certainly do it justice :-) Brooke
Comment Written 24-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 24-Mar-2015
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Thank you Brooke , you brightened my day.
Comment from Joan E.
You are amazing--you always stretch yourself with new forms. I did not notice the contest and would not have been aware of the Waltz Wave poem without your example and notes. Though it was cold, I'm glad Lake Superior inspired you again. I enjoyed your "crystals" and "frigid dance" metaphors. The format mimicked a wave-like action. Neat! -Joan
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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You are amazing--you always stretch yourself with new forms. I did not notice the contest and would not have been aware of the Waltz Wave poem without your example and notes. Though it was cold, I'm glad Lake Superior inspired you again. I enjoyed your "crystals" and "frigid dance" metaphors. The format mimicked a wave-like action. Neat! -Joan
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you Joan. You are always delightfully perceptive.
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Smiles and sweet dreams- Joan
Comment from flamingstar
Oh, I really like that one. Masterful job with such a strict (limiting) format, plus the addition of rhyme makes it more compelling, IMO. Love the idea of the crystals breaching...
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Oh, I really like that one. Masterful job with such a strict (limiting) format, plus the addition of rhyme makes it more compelling, IMO. Love the idea of the crystals breaching...
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you flamingstar. I am so pleased that you captured the thought that went into it. Love the stars too.
Comment from Pantygynt
Another form that's new to me and so very apt for the subject matter. I particularly like the onomatopoeia of the three rhyming 'ch' lines - the breaking waves. Beautiful.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Another form that's new to me and so very apt for the subject matter. I particularly like the onomatopoeia of the three rhyming 'ch' lines - the breaking waves. Beautiful.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much Pantygynt. I think you mean the consonance of the "ch" sound. I really appreciate you review.
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Well that too, but I was thinking of the sound of waves breaking on shingle and that is onomatopoeia.
Comment from rspoet
This is a nice poem in a difficult form to maintain flow, but your waves flow very well indeed.
Beautifully matched poem to picture
Great presentation with blue background white lettering.
Nice rhyming even though not required, it works well and adds to the 'wave.'
I might not have used "cold, bold", the rhyme disrupted the flow a bit for me. Just personal preference.
Excellent
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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This is a nice poem in a difficult form to maintain flow, but your waves flow very well indeed.
Beautifully matched poem to picture
Great presentation with blue background white lettering.
Nice rhyming even though not required, it works well and adds to the 'wave.'
I might not have used "cold, bold", the rhyme disrupted the flow a bit for me. Just personal preference.
Excellent
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you so much rspoet, for stopping by to read my poem. I can see you point. That disruption is just how i intended it.
Comment from Debbie Noland
This is my first exposure to a "waltz poem" and I like this one very much. I like the undulating rhythm this format creates. Your subject of waves on the beach is quite appropriately expressed in this rhythm, and the piece also contains many internal sound features that make it nice to hear aloud.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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This is my first exposure to a "waltz poem" and I like this one very much. I like the undulating rhythm this format creates. Your subject of waves on the beach is quite appropriately expressed in this rhythm, and the piece also contains many internal sound features that make it nice to hear aloud.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you Debbie for this very observant review.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
This is very good. I am not familiar with the format, and did not count the syllables. I can say there was an up and down flow. I can even envision this turned on its side after reading through it. There is your wave. ha! ha! I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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This is very good. I am not familiar with the format, and did not count the syllables. I can say there was an up and down flow. I can even envision this turned on its side after reading through it. There is your wave. ha! ha! I see no changes. Good job and thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Mar-2015
reply by the author on 23-Mar-2015
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Thank you jannypan. I am pleased with your delight.
