Free Verse Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Artist"A collection of free verse poems
32 total reviews
Comment from alizarin crimson
Hello. I am new to FS and I wandered over to your page at the suggestion of another new writer/poet on FS who admires your 'serious' approach. I have posted a few pieces in free verse, but I see that maybe I should be more careful with punctuation. I tend to be more minimal and I don't use caps, only full stops (periods) and commas. I am trying new things. I just posted a piece called 'self-portrait' when prompted to write about looking in the mirror.
I see you are quite an accomplished writer. I am going to 'fan' you so I can read your work more regularly.
'The Artist' is very eerie and spooky. Chilling might be a better word, but a nice change from the mostly 'fluffy' poetry I have come across thus far with references to romance and sunsets and flowers. That's all fine, too, but I tend to favor more 'confessional' work like that of Plath and Sexton, but can't seem to find much of that on FS. Then again, I am new. I also like many other poets, however.
I find the artwork equally haunting and disturbing. I can see how it was an inspiration to your work. The poem goes nicely with the artwork.
My favorite lines are:
Each brushstroke licks around
memories of leaden soldiers,
as if they were ice cream melting.
Most of the artwork on FS is loud and garish, IMHO, and tends to overwhelm the writing below, particularly if they are delicate haikus. I think many people would do better without the accompanying artwork.
It feels bit lonely in here. Not much meaningful feedback, but I don't like the push to promote the work. While I understand the purpose of reviewing the work of others, it's very time consuming to read and write meaningful reviews. I suppose the idea is that in doing so, we shall make our own work that much stronger.
Any favorite authors on FS?
Thank you for your consideration.
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
  |
Hello. I am new to FS and I wandered over to your page at the suggestion of another new writer/poet on FS who admires your 'serious' approach. I have posted a few pieces in free verse, but I see that maybe I should be more careful with punctuation. I tend to be more minimal and I don't use caps, only full stops (periods) and commas. I am trying new things. I just posted a piece called 'self-portrait' when prompted to write about looking in the mirror.
I see you are quite an accomplished writer. I am going to 'fan' you so I can read your work more regularly.
'The Artist' is very eerie and spooky. Chilling might be a better word, but a nice change from the mostly 'fluffy' poetry I have come across thus far with references to romance and sunsets and flowers. That's all fine, too, but I tend to favor more 'confessional' work like that of Plath and Sexton, but can't seem to find much of that on FS. Then again, I am new. I also like many other poets, however.
I find the artwork equally haunting and disturbing. I can see how it was an inspiration to your work. The poem goes nicely with the artwork.
My favorite lines are:
Each brushstroke licks around
memories of leaden soldiers,
as if they were ice cream melting.
Most of the artwork on FS is loud and garish, IMHO, and tends to overwhelm the writing below, particularly if they are delicate haikus. I think many people would do better without the accompanying artwork.
It feels bit lonely in here. Not much meaningful feedback, but I don't like the push to promote the work. While I understand the purpose of reviewing the work of others, it's very time consuming to read and write meaningful reviews. I suppose the idea is that in doing so, we shall make our own work that much stronger.
Any favorite authors on FS?
Thank you for your consideration.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
-
Hi Alizrin. Welcome to FanStory and thank you very much for your kind review. You might like to lok at some of mfowler's work and rama devi is both a wonderful poet and a thorough reviewer. Good luck with your writing. I'll look out for it.
-
Hello, Tfawcus.
You are welcome and thank you for the suggestions. I have also come across that name, mfowler.
Comment from rjuselius
this is a fine piece of poetic art dear tony! the metaphors work well and the whole poem is well presented! nice one.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2015
|
this is a fine piece of poetic art dear tony! the metaphors work well and the whole poem is well presented! nice one.
thank you for sharing!
rebekka x
Comment Written 18-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2015
-
Many thanks, Rebekka. I appreciate your kind comments. Tony
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Yes, I agree, it is a dismal sort of painting and probably portrays an act of past long gone during the war, and many things we used were poisonous, including paint. Overall your theme of sadness as he nears the end of his life is strong, Giddy
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2015
|
Yes, I agree, it is a dismal sort of painting and probably portrays an act of past long gone during the war, and many things we used were poisonous, including paint. Overall your theme of sadness as he nears the end of his life is strong, Giddy
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2015
-
Thanks, Giddy. My iPhone photo didn't really do justice to the painting. LOL. Tony
Comment from Treischel
Not sure that image is a good one, but the imagery in the verse is excellent. Very strong symbolism. Didn't know that about toy soldiers either. The ice-cream simile is a good one.
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2015
|
Not sure that image is a good one, but the imagery in the verse is excellent. Very strong symbolism. Didn't know that about toy soldiers either. The ice-cream simile is a good one.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 21-Jan-2015
-
Thanks, Tom. My iPhone photo didn't really do justice to the painting. It was quite unusual, with the white figure being built up in 3D, with the paint applied over gauze. Tony
Comment from Pullmanspb
Cuenca!! We lived there from Feb through May of this year. A lovely city and lovely country. Was the art there, or somewhere else.
I loved the use of imagery, and that the poem didn't try to force itself or spoon feed me. One I would read more than once.
Ojala que Ud. tenga un buen noche.
Esteban
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
|
Cuenca!! We lived there from Feb through May of this year. A lovely city and lovely country. Was the art there, or somewhere else.
I loved the use of imagery, and that the poem didn't try to force itself or spoon feed me. One I would read more than once.
Ojala que Ud. tenga un buen noche.
Esteban
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
-
We only spent one night and two days there. They were two days of sublime winter sunshine, and almost tourist free, following so hard on the heels of Three Kings Day. Being in the Parador, we were just a short walk from the Museum of Abstract Art in the Hanging Houses, which is where that particular work of art was housed. Amongst much that I did not understand, I found a handful of works that moved me deeply. My Spanish is almost non-existent but my wife speaks it with some degree of fluency - so I have a translator at hand!
Comment from rstonerjr
Enjoyed this Ekphrasis poem on this fine piece of art. Enjoyed the first tercet implying the ethereal quality of negative space,in both poetry and painting. Your descriptive wording sweetens your portrayal to the reader of hidden qualities in the art. Well done much appreciated.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
|
Enjoyed this Ekphrasis poem on this fine piece of art. Enjoyed the first tercet implying the ethereal quality of negative space,in both poetry and painting. Your descriptive wording sweetens your portrayal to the reader of hidden qualities in the art. Well done much appreciated.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
-
Thanks for stopping by to read and review, rstonerjr. I appreciate your kind words. Best wishes, Tony
Comment from adewpearl
good consonance of P and soft S sounds and assonance of long A sounds in paints the spaces
excellent use of enjambment
love the opening commentary about the similar nature of painting and poetry, a most insightful observation
about the nature of creativity
good alliteration in puppet, a Pierrot
vivid descriptive detail, moving in its emotional appeal
powerful use of simile
good alliteration in death dripping
Compelling social commentary that truly packs a punch - sorry, not sixes on Saturday
Brooke
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
|
good consonance of P and soft S sounds and assonance of long A sounds in paints the spaces
excellent use of enjambment
love the opening commentary about the similar nature of painting and poetry, a most insightful observation
about the nature of creativity
good alliteration in puppet, a Pierrot
vivid descriptive detail, moving in its emotional appeal
powerful use of simile
good alliteration in death dripping
Compelling social commentary that truly packs a punch - sorry, not sixes on Saturday
Brooke
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
-
Thank you, Brooke, for your close reading and response. Much appreciated.
Comment from kriver
Hi Very nice write.
good imagery, and description.
Over all a very good write.
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
|
Hi Very nice write.
good imagery, and description.
Over all a very good write.
Comment Written 17-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 17-Jan-2015
-
Thanks for your review, Kriver.
Comment from sunnilicious
Oh my goodness... That painted such a wickedly sad image. Expressive visual imagery. Excellent storytelling skills. Great author notes with references. Nicely done.
Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
 |
Oh my goodness... That painted such a wickedly sad image. Expressive visual imagery. Excellent storytelling skills. Great author notes with references. Nicely done.
Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 16-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Thanks so much for this fabulous review and six-star rating!, sunnilicious. Very much appreciated!
Comment from rjpurdy
Wow - this is powerful Tony. The imagery is fantastic and the message hits like a gut punch. Each stanza packs a punch but my favorite is line 4 of S3 which sets up your final stanza to drive this one home. An excellent piece my dear friend. Rod
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
|
Wow - this is powerful Tony. The imagery is fantastic and the message hits like a gut punch. Each stanza packs a punch but my favorite is line 4 of S3 which sets up your final stanza to drive this one home. An excellent piece my dear friend. Rod
Comment Written 16-Jan-2015
reply by the author on 16-Jan-2015
-
Thank you, Rod, for reading and for responding with such kind words. So glad you enjoyed it.
