Neighborhood Watch
short story21 total reviews
Comment from pbomar1115
Wow. What a story. The frightening twist to the story. I really got convince that the guy was and expert after cops left. This one caught me by surprise. This was a great story. Excellent.
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Wow. What a story. The frightening twist to the story. I really got convince that the guy was and expert after cops left. This one caught me by surprise. This was a great story. Excellent.
Comment Written 27-Apr-2017
Comment from Muffins
Tight narrative, well structured plot that is revealed slowly with tons of juicy details. The story is shocking that this could happen to anyone who is just minding their business, doing a job, or maybe they said thank you to a stranger who believe that's the start of a relationship!
Excellent build up to the heading shaking ending.
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Tight narrative, well structured plot that is revealed slowly with tons of juicy details. The story is shocking that this could happen to anyone who is just minding their business, doing a job, or maybe they said thank you to a stranger who believe that's the start of a relationship!
Excellent build up to the heading shaking ending.
Comment Written 31-Dec-2014
Comment from Nosha17
A real scary twist to your story. Well written with good descriptions, characters and well narrated. It read really well, good luck in the contest. Faye
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A real scary twist to your story. Well written with good descriptions, characters and well narrated. It read really well, good luck in the contest. Faye
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from K. Lorraine
Suspenseful story and a definite unexpected ending. The story gave me the creeps which I would venture to say that you did your job well. I enjoyed the shock and awe of your story a lot. Good luck in the contest. I think flash stories are one of the hardest to write because you must be precise in getting the story across with so few words.
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Suspenseful story and a definite unexpected ending. The story gave me the creeps which I would venture to say that you did your job well. I enjoyed the shock and awe of your story a lot. Good luck in the contest. I think flash stories are one of the hardest to write because you must be precise in getting the story across with so few words.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, this is uniquely creative in the story line and fulfils the requirements of the contest that falls into the shocking category. It deals with relevant material in today's world. Well done. All the best in the contest. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, this is uniquely creative in the story line and fulfils the requirements of the contest that falls into the shocking category. It deals with relevant material in today's world. Well done. All the best in the contest. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from Judy Couch
This is amazingly well written. It maintains suspense until the ending which comes as a surprise. You followed the prompt well. You expressed your ideas well. Great job.
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This is amazingly well written. It maintains suspense until the ending which comes as a surprise. You followed the prompt well. You expressed your ideas well. Great job.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Yes, I must admit, I was surprised. It was like the comment, 'lady, this just isn't your day.' I think I would have liked a happier ending but hey it is a contest and you did it!
Well done,
Carolyn
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Yes, I must admit, I was surprised. It was like the comment, 'lady, this just isn't your day.' I think I would have liked a happier ending but hey it is a contest and you did it!
Well done,
Carolyn
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from gypsycaravan
Excellent buildup of suspense. Great twist at the ending. With such a low word count, it is hard to develop the characters but you did a great job and didn't need it. Best of luck in the contest.
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Excellent buildup of suspense. Great twist at the ending. With such a low word count, it is hard to develop the characters but you did a great job and didn't need it. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from maggieadams
This is Alfred Hitchcock story....what a twist...I was so afraid you would not save her in time and then the twisted last line which is a bit ambiguous and can be interpreted several ways is so creepy. This is a six.
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This is Alfred Hitchcock story....what a twist...I was so afraid you would not save her in time and then the twisted last line which is a bit ambiguous and can be interpreted several ways is so creepy. This is a six.
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Oh, that was a horrible ending! That poor woman, twice in one night, how unlucky that would be. I think I would have checked the door, but you never know when you are in a panic. Really well written, and a really good contest entry. Good luck! xsx Sandra
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Oh, that was a horrible ending! That poor woman, twice in one night, how unlucky that would be. I think I would have checked the door, but you never know when you are in a panic. Really well written, and a really good contest entry. Good luck! xsx Sandra
Comment Written 29-Dec-2014
