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More Opinions & Politics 2013~2017

Viewing comments for Chapter 17 "That Color Was Blue"
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12 total reviews 
Comment from Lovinia
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Hi Marilyn

I read your piece announcing this terrible tragedy. Now more to say, again with strong voice. I enjoyed the rhyme and rhythm, and learning more about the situation. We were brought up to respect policemen as protectors. I know there are bad ones ... yet so despicable to kill because they represent law enforcement.

A poignant poem, highlighting the horror of current events, and a powerful reminder that this is not new, and not an isolated incident. They risk their lives every day to protect us and uphold the law. Respect should be paramount, to the few who go astray. Well written. I enjoyed your final line ... "They were killed for their color. That color was blue." ... the words of Commissioner Bratton ... when will we ever learn? Hugs - Lovi xoxo

PS Happy New Year... let's hope there will be some peace on this day of the beginning of 2015 that will continue.

 Comment Written 30-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 30-Dec-2014
    Hi Lovinia. Thank you for your supportive review of this tragedy. If we didn't have the police to help us keep order, we'd have anarchy. Praying that 2015 will have some return of sanity in our country. Happy New Year to you and your family. Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment from patcelaw
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I find no fault in the police turning their backs on the mayor as he spoke, Some of the things the mayor has done when it comes to peace officers deserved the show of disrespect. I say bravo to the officers. Patricia

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
    I agree, patcelaw. The police are the only barrier between citizens and total anarchy.
Comment from Joan E.
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Thank you for sharing your very effective social commentary. Your title and its repeat is poignant and the alliteration of "g's" plus the rhymes add to the intensity of your message. More cheers- Joan

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
    Thank you, Joan. This topic is meaningful to me as I know several NY police officers. Their job is demanding. We need them. They have to have their wits about them 24/7.
Comment from acerisestory
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Hi Marilyn -- Your poem is a strong and impactful message about the totally senseless killing of two of our men in blue! They face this type of violence every day, and yet they still go out and do their jobs. They are strong and brave men.

Your aabbccdd rhyming is perfectly done, and your well chosen words have a great flow. You've made great use of alliteration throughout your poem. I am particularly moved by your last line (a different look at the word, "color:"

"'They were killed for their color. That color was blue.'"

Well done, my friend! Alana






 Comment Written 29-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
    Hi Alana. Thank you for your fine review of my piece. The "color" line is a direct quote from Commissioner Bratton of the NYPD at Officer Ramos' funeral. I think he summed it up perfectly.
reply by acerisestory on 29-Dec-2014
    You are welcome, Marilyn! And yes, the Commissioner summed it up well. Alana
Comment from joeruptak
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All I can say, what a great job of laying it out on the line
sometime the police go to far, was just try to imagine three or four days without their presence
to try and write half as well as you do is my goal

 Comment Written 29-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 29-Dec-2014
    Hi Joe. Thank you for your comments and fine review. You made my day with your wonderful compliment. I enjoy reading your work so much--always right on the money. Best, Marilyn/BeasPeas
Comment from Father Flaps
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Good for you, Marilyn. I thought it was only ISIS that doesn't care about life, but I see it's much closer to home now. There are cowards all over the place.
I see big trouble coming for the USA in 2015. There seems to be a lot of racial tension right now. And it doesn't help when a mayor sides with the demonstrators instead of the police force. You did a good job of writing about the "turn around", a simple gesture to get their point across. It's a sad state of affairs when men are ambushed for just being policemen. What would the country be like without the law? It's a scary thought.
Nice alliteration with,
"glitzy, grand or gaudy"
The one line that I'm thinking you should look over is
"Condemning the courage the Mayor lacks"
You aren't condemning the Mayor's courage. You're condemning the Mayor for his lack of courage.
So I suggest,
( Condemning the Mayor for courage he lacks)
You slip away from the rhyme scheme of the first verse, AABBCCDD, in the second verse. I wonder if you can repair that?
"NYPD Blue, 25,000 strong, turned their backs A
Most powerful symbol of all quiet acts B
Condemning the courage the Mayor lacks A
While at Ramos funeral bugler played taps" B (near rhyme)
You might put it like this,
( NYPD Blue, 25,000 strong, turned their backs A
Condemning the Mayor for courage he lacks A
The most powerful gesture of all quiet acts B
While at Ramos' funeral, a bugler played taps) B

Good poem! Thanks for sharing.
Kimbob

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
    Thank you, Kimbob. Changes you suggest are excellent. Appreciate your review and help with this.
reply by Father Flaps on 28-Dec-2014
    You're most welcome, Marilyn.
Comment from granny goes viral
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Yes. This is a very interesting take (poem) on the whole color issue. Well done. Well stated. Neither blaming or angry, just a clear statement done so poetically.

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
    Thank you, Sheila. I appreciate your kind review.
Comment from MelB
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This is a great tribute to the officers who were brutally murdered, just because they were policeman. The picture shows one of complete respect for these guys that put their lives on the line everyday. The 25,000 would be quite a site to see as well. Well done.

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
    From new reports, the police came from all over the world, some as far as Australia--but certainly the country--covered six city blocks. Thank you for your great review, MelB.
Comment from Jacqueline M Franklin
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Hi,

Nicely penned with great emotion. So much disrespect shown our law enforcement. It makes me sad to see the way of it all.

I lived in Flagstaff, AZ for nearly twenty years but moved away five years ago. Just heard over the weekend where a cop was killed during a domestic violence case, then the suspect turned the gun on himself.

No value for human life anymore. So very sad.

*Happy New Year!!*

Cheers & Blessings
Keep Smilin'... Jax (*:*)

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
    Hi Jax. Thank you for your very nice review. As you know NYC is having problems with its mayor not supporting the police there. I moved from California last year to Wisconsin, but having lived on Long Island, NY for many years--the New York police have their hands full all the time with trying to tame the jungle. I see you joined FanStory in 2014--welcome.
Comment from bob cullen
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A moving tribute to our providers of safety. I do wish cop critics would consider the alternative to our police force.
Anarchy. And violence.

Sure there are bad cops, but the vast majority are decent, hard working people who place their lives on the line every day.

I loved your tribute to the men in blue

 Comment Written 28-Dec-2014


reply by the author on 28-Dec-2014
    Thank you, Bob. As you probably are aware, here in the U.S. we are experiencing racial tension fueled by those who are profiting from keeping the divide going. Instead of working to solve the problem, they are old has-beens who would be out of a job if the situation improved. Two police officers were killed earlier this month and the New York mayor has sided with the demonstrators who are wreaking havoc and calling for dead cops. I hope the situation is better in Australia. I appreciate your taking time to read my piece.