The Sense To Let My Wife Take Charge
A blathering essay story thing.34 total reviews
Comment from springrain
Hi Michael, I think this is an excellent and very well-written story, that manages to keep the theme vivid all through the narrative; also, to develop it and to approach it from different angles.
I interpret the theme as being about a development of your own ethical standards, and the way you structure the interplay between yourself, your wife and Jerry manages to bring that through.
The story has a very sympathetic message: how the compassion and care for our fellow human beings, and seeing men and women as equals, will make the world a better place for us all.
Thanks for sharing Michael and congratulations to the good achievement in the contest.
All the best, Olof
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Hi Michael, I think this is an excellent and very well-written story, that manages to keep the theme vivid all through the narrative; also, to develop it and to approach it from different angles.
I interpret the theme as being about a development of your own ethical standards, and the way you structure the interplay between yourself, your wife and Jerry manages to bring that through.
The story has a very sympathetic message: how the compassion and care for our fellow human beings, and seeing men and women as equals, will make the world a better place for us all.
Thanks for sharing Michael and congratulations to the good achievement in the contest.
All the best, Olof
Comment Written 05-Feb-2015
Comment from Janet7053
This thought you say loosely 'we" had, became an action.Then, the action became repeated. Then those actions repeated became ingrained into the fabric of your lives. I am so taken with the succession of events that led you to the outcome at the end of the story. Very well written, Sir. The paragraphs accommodated each piece of the conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. God Bless you with your next house guest. If you would read my A Lady Stopped By, you would see I wasn't the gracious host as you were.
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This thought you say loosely 'we" had, became an action.Then, the action became repeated. Then those actions repeated became ingrained into the fabric of your lives. I am so taken with the succession of events that led you to the outcome at the end of the story. Very well written, Sir. The paragraphs accommodated each piece of the conversation. I thoroughly enjoyed the read. God Bless you with your next house guest. If you would read my A Lady Stopped By, you would see I wasn't the gracious host as you were.
Comment Written 04-Feb-2015
Comment from evilynne
I missed the contest since I don't have a home computer at this time but wanted to read your work. I think the whole think is wonderful, including your writing, your wife, and the idea of offering people second chances. I am not in the position to make such as offer at this time, but perhaps I can offer something in the future. I don't know if I could offer a place to stay, but perhaps there are other options to consider. Evi
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I missed the contest since I don't have a home computer at this time but wanted to read your work. I think the whole think is wonderful, including your writing, your wife, and the idea of offering people second chances. I am not in the position to make such as offer at this time, but perhaps I can offer something in the future. I don't know if I could offer a place to stay, but perhaps there are other options to consider. Evi
Comment Written 04-Feb-2015
Comment from LRoses
This story is very inspiring! It has made me think of ways I can be creative in my giving . Not expecting anything in return is something people are not accustomed to, but the return is very great. Thank you for sharing your story ogf giving.
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This story is very inspiring! It has made me think of ways I can be creative in my giving . Not expecting anything in return is something people are not accustomed to, but the return is very great. Thank you for sharing your story ogf giving.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
Comment from MissMerri
I enjoyed reading this so much Mikey. Congratulations on the third place prize! That's no small accomplishment.
You've told the story so well, I thought I was reading a true account until I got to the author notes... Oh well. Almost true is close enough. I thought you might (or might not) want to know about a few typos so I listed them below.
***Christmas diner, (I know you meant "dinner.")
***who this man was or what he was capable was. (capable of?)
***Thought was almost visibly going through his mind. He extended a visibly shaking hand. (Too many "visiblys" too close together.)
Since you've survived the contest already, and perhaps don't care any more about nits, I'm just throwing this out there along with my highest regard for your writing skills, and my editing ability. LOL I truly enjoy your writing, always. MM
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
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I enjoyed reading this so much Mikey. Congratulations on the third place prize! That's no small accomplishment.
You've told the story so well, I thought I was reading a true account until I got to the author notes... Oh well. Almost true is close enough. I thought you might (or might not) want to know about a few typos so I listed them below.
***Christmas diner, (I know you meant "dinner.")
***who this man was or what he was capable was. (capable of?)
***Thought was almost visibly going through his mind. He extended a visibly shaking hand. (Too many "visiblys" too close together.)
Since you've survived the contest already, and perhaps don't care any more about nits, I'm just throwing this out there along with my highest regard for your writing skills, and my editing ability. LOL I truly enjoy your writing, always. MM
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
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It is true, I just thought it sounded a little too much like bragging and I didn't want that to be the message. :) Yes! I always want to know about typos. I can't believe I've actually learned grammar!!! Well, learning is a better word. I didn't have a clue where to put a comma when I first started. Agree about the "visibly's" too. So pleased you liked this. I was surprised to make a showing! Very exciting. Thank you so much. mikey
Comment from Tatarka2
This 6 is for the message, as much as for the story (which is excellent, and congratulations on the third place -- I think it should be higher). I wish I'd read this before the judging, when the 6 might have meant something. Would you be willing to message me and possibly offer me some advice? I enter contest after contest, get excellent reviews (on stories especially) but I never even place in any contests. I'm honestly not sure what I'm doing wrong, and Tom has no advice to offer. There has to be something I just don't see. Please don't be hesitant to be absolutely candid. If you don't feel you have the time to do this, I completely understand. But I would appreciate your feedback. I submitted a piece for this contest, called "Trust," which is in my portfolio. Maybe the sentences are too long? I'm just not sure. Thank you so much for considering this request. I always appreciate reading your stories and poems, and especially your feedback.
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
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This 6 is for the message, as much as for the story (which is excellent, and congratulations on the third place -- I think it should be higher). I wish I'd read this before the judging, when the 6 might have meant something. Would you be willing to message me and possibly offer me some advice? I enter contest after contest, get excellent reviews (on stories especially) but I never even place in any contests. I'm honestly not sure what I'm doing wrong, and Tom has no advice to offer. There has to be something I just don't see. Please don't be hesitant to be absolutely candid. If you don't feel you have the time to do this, I completely understand. But I would appreciate your feedback. I submitted a piece for this contest, called "Trust," which is in my portfolio. Maybe the sentences are too long? I'm just not sure. Thank you so much for considering this request. I always appreciate reading your stories and poems, and especially your feedback.
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
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Hi. Thanks for the great review. I remember your piece, "Trust" clearly. I thought it was excellent. I'll PM you later with some thoughts. I do have some ideas. I know it isn't the quality as that is stellar in my opinion. I think there is a tendency to favor certain styles here and themes as well. Well, we'll talk!! mikey
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Thank you so much. I would be so appreciative of any advice you might be able to offer.
Comment from JillS
I really like your narrator. Such a strong voice! The story really grabbed my interest, kept me reading as the narrator's wife "upped the ante" over time. You did a great job of showing their characters and their relationship. The ending was sort of a disappointment to me. I don't know. I was expecting more of a surprise, something as quirky as the rest. Thanks for a fun read! --Jill
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I really like your narrator. Such a strong voice! The story really grabbed my interest, kept me reading as the narrator's wife "upped the ante" over time. You did a great job of showing their characters and their relationship. The ending was sort of a disappointment to me. I don't know. I was expecting more of a surprise, something as quirky as the rest. Thanks for a fun read! --Jill
Comment Written 02-Feb-2015
Comment from patcelaw
The best laid plans of mice and men is nothing compared to a man who will trust his wife handle things an trust her to do what is best. I hope you have had a nice holiday and best wishes for the new year. Patricia
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The best laid plans of mice and men is nothing compared to a man who will trust his wife handle things an trust her to do what is best. I hope you have had a nice holiday and best wishes for the new year. Patricia
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
Comment from pattipac
Mike, whether this is true, or just speculation makes no difference. Your well penned story of trust, not only in your wife, yourself, and a strange- "who just wants another chance"- leaves a powerful impression on this reviewer. Deserving of a six, but alas my pockets are empty my friend. Merry Christmas!
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Mike, whether this is true, or just speculation makes no difference. Your well penned story of trust, not only in your wife, yourself, and a strange- "who just wants another chance"- leaves a powerful impression on this reviewer. Deserving of a six, but alas my pockets are empty my friend. Merry Christmas!
Comment Written 25-Dec-2014
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Verrrry good little tale of helping our brothers. Did you really do this? Was Jerry a real guy who took advantage of his second chance and made a real life for himself? I hope so. I gave two teens a second chance at life, and I haven't regretted it for one moment. I think if EVERYONE with the ability helped just ONE person in need, we'd do a lot for society, more than the govt does with its welfare handouts that come with the rule "no fathers allowed to live in the home." That is criminal, imo. Thanks to LBJ, the black family is all but destroyed. And I honestly think he did it on purpose, to keep blacks under the govt's thumb. He was a very prejudiced Texan, and also wanted to be sure of a long term voting block for his party. It worked, and I hope he's burning in Lucifer's pit right now, the f'in bastard.
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Verrrry good little tale of helping our brothers. Did you really do this? Was Jerry a real guy who took advantage of his second chance and made a real life for himself? I hope so. I gave two teens a second chance at life, and I haven't regretted it for one moment. I think if EVERYONE with the ability helped just ONE person in need, we'd do a lot for society, more than the govt does with its welfare handouts that come with the rule "no fathers allowed to live in the home." That is criminal, imo. Thanks to LBJ, the black family is all but destroyed. And I honestly think he did it on purpose, to keep blacks under the govt's thumb. He was a very prejudiced Texan, and also wanted to be sure of a long term voting block for his party. It worked, and I hope he's burning in Lucifer's pit right now, the f'in bastard.
Comment Written 24-Dec-2014
