Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 52 "Compassion For the Heartless"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
16 total reviews
Comment from Sasha
I doubt Leopold will ever see the evil of his ways...kill the bastard, Please! The world would be a better place without him and his kind. This is a great chapter, lots going on and sadly, it looks like Leopold is determined to kill them all.
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I doubt Leopold will ever see the evil of his ways...kill the bastard, Please! The world would be a better place without him and his kind. This is a great chapter, lots going on and sadly, it looks like Leopold is determined to kill them all.
Comment Written 02-Dec-2014
Comment from ProjectBluebook
Excellent chapter Lion King. I really enjoyed it. The arm cutting, surgery was in-depth. Seemed to be what they would do in that time. I bet it was painful. I wonder if burning the flesh and blood vessels do stop the blood flow. Nice to know. You never know when you have to stop blood, perhaps in an accident. Gruesome. An orderly story. I hope you don't mind, trying to be more helpful in editing. My abi word, I pasted the chapter, detected these typo's. Thought you might want to correct it to make it perfect.
Threatning -- add e
severly -- add e
offence -- offense
knealt -- knelt
This is what Abi word red-lettered. I make these errors all of the time as I type. Nothing to worry about. Trying to help with the reviews without being a jerk. Great chapter. It is evolving. This will be a well written book. Abi word showed you did not have any other errors. i usually have ten times what you have. I see six surgeons amputating an arm. Yuk! Count your doubloon. wackydo
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Excellent chapter Lion King. I really enjoyed it. The arm cutting, surgery was in-depth. Seemed to be what they would do in that time. I bet it was painful. I wonder if burning the flesh and blood vessels do stop the blood flow. Nice to know. You never know when you have to stop blood, perhaps in an accident. Gruesome. An orderly story. I hope you don't mind, trying to be more helpful in editing. My abi word, I pasted the chapter, detected these typo's. Thought you might want to correct it to make it perfect.
Threatning -- add e
severly -- add e
offence -- offense
knealt -- knelt
This is what Abi word red-lettered. I make these errors all of the time as I type. Nothing to worry about. Trying to help with the reviews without being a jerk. Great chapter. It is evolving. This will be a well written book. Abi word showed you did not have any other errors. i usually have ten times what you have. I see six surgeons amputating an arm. Yuk! Count your doubloon. wackydo
Comment Written 01-Dec-2014
reply by the author on 01-Dec-2014
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Where can I get that? Is that Abi word free? The spell check here doesn't work at all and MS Word didn't catch those. I need that kind of help! Wondered where ya was. Always appreciate the help, suggestions anything like that. That's how I grew from a lion cub to a LION KING! HAHAHAHA. I'm picturing you at a traffic accident sawing someone's arm off and torching the stump and telling the EMTs that you read it on FanStory!!!! mikey
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I got a torch and a tree saw. Just don't have an accident, Mikey. Lion cub -- that is cute. yep, I was getting Word Six, I believe, but they wanted hundreds of dollars for me to subscribe for another month. Screw that. I found Abi word. Forget how. Someone on the internet. I'm liking it. I usually post on my Abi word document before I paste on fanstory. Crap! I usually have ten times more red than I saw in your chapter. that is why you are doing fantastic! it is extremely easy to miss something as you type. I have to look down as I type. Never took typing.It is free! You can even shade prose with a highlight color for a letter, like a special container. Try it. It sure makes it easier. I trust it more than fanstory. I was just lookin' at your poem with the skull and the cigar. Lol! Going to give her a look. So this is the contest you could not enter. You did it better than I could. Gotta run!
Comment from Joe_P
The story progresses at a good pace. Will Restavius and Leopold ever learn? The poppy seeds is a nice touch and lends authenticity. The last sentence leaves us in suspense.
Note: "[relive] pain" [relieve]
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The story progresses at a good pace. Will Restavius and Leopold ever learn? The poppy seeds is a nice touch and lends authenticity. The last sentence leaves us in suspense.
Note: "[relive] pain" [relieve]
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from Michaelk
I love the way you've turned the tables and have the hunted become the helper. Good job. I'm still not sure of where the wolves came from. The ultimate ironic twist would be that Leopold was a witch all along, and just used the others to draw attention away from himself.
Great chapter, very unexpected. I see Valerius playing a very important role in the next chapter.
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I love the way you've turned the tables and have the hunted become the helper. Good job. I'm still not sure of where the wolves came from. The ultimate ironic twist would be that Leopold was a witch all along, and just used the others to draw attention away from himself.
Great chapter, very unexpected. I see Valerius playing a very important role in the next chapter.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from brentman99
Quite a work you have on the go. I'm sorry I haven't followed it at all, but I only have so much time on FanStory these days. I like the premise and was going to recommend that you read an old book called "The Forever War." Same idea except it is in a space age setting. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
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Quite a work you have on the go. I'm sorry I haven't followed it at all, but I only have so much time on FanStory these days. I like the premise and was going to recommend that you read an old book called "The Forever War." Same idea except it is in a space age setting. Thanks for sharing, Brent.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from nelliesellie
You left the story with a real cliff hanger. Will Leopold be able to reek more harm on the group? I hope not. The group did what is right. They saved the worthless lives of the demon priests. This group can not win by stooping to the enemy's level. They can not kill deliberately. Great work.
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You left the story with a real cliff hanger. Will Leopold be able to reek more harm on the group? I hope not. The group did what is right. They saved the worthless lives of the demon priests. This group can not win by stooping to the enemy's level. They can not kill deliberately. Great work.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from Drew Delaney
Very well done. I'm sorry that I cannot help you for I notice nothing to improve upon. I don't know the story well enough to make any suggestions. I just think it is a seller. Once you get it done, it will be an amazing story that young people like to read especially. Best wishes with this.
Drew Delaney
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Very well done. I'm sorry that I cannot help you for I notice nothing to improve upon. I don't know the story well enough to make any suggestions. I just think it is a seller. Once you get it done, it will be an amazing story that young people like to read especially. Best wishes with this.
Drew Delaney
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from robina1978
I love the title of this chapter and the subject of course. A priest gets hurt by the wolves and still Julia attends to his wounds.
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I love the title of this chapter and the subject of course. A priest gets hurt by the wolves and still Julia attends to his wounds.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from Nosha17
How did you manage to make your characters so evil, and priests at that. I would have left them to die, good retribution! Great descriptions of these forest scenes, and super characterisations. Most exciting and enjoyable. Faye
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How did you manage to make your characters so evil, and priests at that. I would have left them to die, good retribution! Great descriptions of these forest scenes, and super characterisations. Most exciting and enjoyable. Faye
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from Gargantuan2
This story reflects a lot of what is wrong with societies everywhere in today's world as well. Having people read this will help them to realize that I am sure. :)
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This story reflects a lot of what is wrong with societies everywhere in today's world as well. Having people read this will help them to realize that I am sure. :)
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
