The Sentinel Stone
The gateway to hell has been opened...18 total reviews
Comment from lancellot
It is interesting. I think perhaps you made the professor too stupid. It remind me of the movie Prometheus, when brilliant scientist don't se the obvious. Good narration from Satan. I like how he never claimed to be an intern, so he didn't lie, just let the Professor believe what he wanted. Authentic.
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
  |
It is interesting. I think perhaps you made the professor too stupid. It remind me of the movie Prometheus, when brilliant scientist don't se the obvious. Good narration from Satan. I like how he never claimed to be an intern, so he didn't lie, just let the Professor believe what he wanted. Authentic.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
-
Thanks, Lance, and I appreciate you taking a look at the story for me. As always, I value your feedback and opinions very highly.
~Dean
Comment from rod007
This was a brilliant entry for the contest and you were pipped to the post by 'the bleeding chalice' by only one vote. Well done, my friend.
|
This was a brilliant entry for the contest and you were pipped to the post by 'the bleeding chalice' by only one vote. Well done, my friend.
Comment Written 30-Nov-2014
Comment from Drew Delaney
The Book of Revelation and the Book of Daniel are quite an eye opener if you can faintly understand them. The mark of the beast, and the seven plaques, and so forth. All very frightening. More so than any monster or horror and thriller we have ever read or known.
Nice piece and brilliant undertaking Dean.
Drew
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
|
The Book of Revelation and the Book of Daniel are quite an eye opener if you can faintly understand them. The mark of the beast, and the seven plaques, and so forth. All very frightening. More so than any monster or horror and thriller we have ever read or known.
Nice piece and brilliant undertaking Dean.
Drew
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 30-Nov-2014
-
Thank you very much for the excellent feedback, Drew. I am very happy that you liked the story. :}
~Dean
Comment from livelylinda
Dean: you never disappoint me and you have no faults (of course, I haven't talked to your wife about this . . . ). Your writing always captures my interest. This one just about made me throw up, considering the possibility of the gates of hell actually existing. Originality always a plus with your themes and this one is fantastic. It is surely six star worthy but I'm out, it is Saturday after all. Linda
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
|
Dean: you never disappoint me and you have no faults (of course, I haven't talked to your wife about this . . . ). Your writing always captures my interest. This one just about made me throw up, considering the possibility of the gates of hell actually existing. Originality always a plus with your themes and this one is fantastic. It is surely six star worthy but I'm out, it is Saturday after all. Linda
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
-
I know exactly what you mean about those sixes, Linda. I'm usually all out by Tuesday, or Wednesday, at the very latest. There just isn't enough of them to go around, not with all of the talented writers there are here.
Anyhow, I'm just glad you enjoyed the story, and that you were almost driven to the point of tossing your cookies. For a horror writer, that's the greatest of compliments, LOL.
Thanks again!
~Dean
Comment from MsRamsy
The student in me wanted to weep. Luckily, a jollier and snarkier persona controls the joystick.
I love reading plays. I love the shapes and the leg room allowed in them. If this was dressed in screenplay form, lol, the student in me would have shown her soppy face and posted up each and every one of those six stars myself.
I couldn't help but be hypnotized by the scene which you presented so well. I could hear your voice; feel it. We all know the difference between enjoying that which you can feel as opposed to merely hearing.
I felt a genuine thrill entertaining the thought of learning from your endeavors.
I was happily reminded of written or screen work that I've enjoyed. The most obscure piece would be a novel by the title of "The Harbringer", the most obvious (if only to myself) "Space Odyssey". Man, you're a little bit of a "somethin' else" eh?
Well, hat's off and good luck. I hear the waters can be rough out there..in unexpected regions.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
|
The student in me wanted to weep. Luckily, a jollier and snarkier persona controls the joystick.
I love reading plays. I love the shapes and the leg room allowed in them. If this was dressed in screenplay form, lol, the student in me would have shown her soppy face and posted up each and every one of those six stars myself.
I couldn't help but be hypnotized by the scene which you presented so well. I could hear your voice; feel it. We all know the difference between enjoying that which you can feel as opposed to merely hearing.
I felt a genuine thrill entertaining the thought of learning from your endeavors.
I was happily reminded of written or screen work that I've enjoyed. The most obscure piece would be a novel by the title of "The Harbringer", the most obvious (if only to myself) "Space Odyssey". Man, you're a little bit of a "somethin' else" eh?
Well, hat's off and good luck. I hear the waters can be rough out there..in unexpected regions.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
-
Thanks very much for weighing in on this story and sharing your thoughts with me about it, MsRamsy. While it is one of my shorter stories, I feel it is also one of my better ones.
I appreciate you read, review, and the welcomed feedback.
Much appreciated. :}
~Dean
Comment from amahra
Wow, this was scary. I don't think I've ever read anything like this on here. The pictures one by one was rather frightening as well. Great entry.
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
|
Wow, this was scary. I don't think I've ever read anything like this on here. The pictures one by one was rather frightening as well. Great entry.
Comment Written 29-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 29-Nov-2014
-
Thanks, amahra. I'm really glad you enjoyed the story. I wish the voters were as enthusiastic as you are about it, but that's okay. I was happy with the way it turned out.
Thanks again! :)
Comment from JackiO
Excellent piece of writing!
Riveting , the imagery clearly portrayed.
Gruesome and frightening!
The twist is delightful in its horror.
Good luck!
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
Excellent piece of writing!
Riveting , the imagery clearly portrayed.
Gruesome and frightening!
The twist is delightful in its horror.
Good luck!
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Thanks you very much for looking over my story, JackiO. I really appreciate the great feedback. :}
Comment from mikemagine
Wish I had a six for you, Dean! You set this up so doggone well! Very creepy and disturbing - and True! Some people ARE going to suffer horribly in the end times and then wind up in Hell and then the Lake of Fire!
Many say "You can't out-sin Grace", well, maybe so, but Believers had better show MUCH change from their old lives! I believe the Bible has room for both major doctrines: Arminionism(Spelling?) and Calvinism.
Peace, my friend!
Mike
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
Wish I had a six for you, Dean! You set this up so doggone well! Very creepy and disturbing - and True! Some people ARE going to suffer horribly in the end times and then wind up in Hell and then the Lake of Fire!
Many say "You can't out-sin Grace", well, maybe so, but Believers had better show MUCH change from their old lives! I believe the Bible has room for both major doctrines: Arminionism(Spelling?) and Calvinism.
Peace, my friend!
Mike
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Peace to you as well, Mike, and I must reply as "anonymous" for now as it is still an ongoing contest, and the results are not yet complete. However, whoever I am, I assure you I am very deeply grateful for your encouraging commentary and thoughtful review.
Have a fantastic weekend, my friend.
-
Glad to rev. this, my friend! I u'stand that you can't rev. your ID. No prob.
You too, have a great w-end!!
Mike
Comment from jpduck
I thought this was a very well written piece. I particularly liked the clever photography, which presumably was yours as there was no other attribution. Well done.
One SPAG and a suggestion:
The first three paragraphs were all part of a continuous speech by Baltmann. You quite correctly withheld *closing* quotation marks at the end of the first and second paragraphs. But all three paragraphs should still have *opening* quotation marks.
You chose to use italics for all of the narration. I think this is a mistake as it causes some confusion where you have also used italics for emphasis when Baltmann is speaking. There are other options - you could write the narrative in bold, in a different type-face or in a different colour. Any of these would remove any confusion or slight feeling of disorientation.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
I thought this was a very well written piece. I particularly liked the clever photography, which presumably was yours as there was no other attribution. Well done.
One SPAG and a suggestion:
The first three paragraphs were all part of a continuous speech by Baltmann. You quite correctly withheld *closing* quotation marks at the end of the first and second paragraphs. But all three paragraphs should still have *opening* quotation marks.
You chose to use italics for all of the narration. I think this is a mistake as it causes some confusion where you have also used italics for emphasis when Baltmann is speaking. There are other options - you could write the narrative in bold, in a different type-face or in a different colour. Any of these would remove any confusion or slight feeling of disorientation.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Thanks for the great feedback, jpduck. I'll be sure to look into that.
Yes, the pictures are my own.
Thanks again!
Comment from mfowler
You have creeped up the page with this one, and built a great story around ancient scriptural writings. The narrative involves only the professor, the anti-Christ and the stone. It kept the story tight, imaginable and frightening. The language is great, and features a cast with great demonic presence. The thought passages and dialogue work very well together and the story is very readable this way. Loved the professor's dying words. Fits beautifully. Good luckd.
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
|
You have creeped up the page with this one, and built a great story around ancient scriptural writings. The narrative involves only the professor, the anti-Christ and the stone. It kept the story tight, imaginable and frightening. The language is great, and features a cast with great demonic presence. The thought passages and dialogue work very well together and the story is very readable this way. Loved the professor's dying words. Fits beautifully. Good luckd.
Comment Written 28-Nov-2014
reply by the author on 28-Nov-2014
-
Thanks, Mark. By the looks of things, I am going to need lots of luck, my fellow horror aficionado.
Much obliged. :}
