Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Julia Describes Her Visions"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
17 total reviews
Comment from CR Delport
The weekend is done and it is time for me to start catching up. This, my favorite current story, is a good place to start :) I think Julia and Valerius is starting to understand each other. Good job.
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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The weekend is done and it is time for me to start catching up. This, my favorite current story, is a good place to start :) I think Julia and Valerius is starting to understand each other. Good job.
Comment Written 27-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 27-Oct-2014
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That is so nice to hear. Thank you. Yes, I don't think Valerius is going to be able to maintain a Doctor/patient relationship with her. Love makes us do crazy things. :)
Comment from Nosha17
Excellent chapter with many things being discussed and confirming the love that Valerius feels for Julia. But there is sure to be danger ahead. Great characters and story line. Faye
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Excellent chapter with many things being discussed and confirming the love that Valerius feels for Julia. But there is sure to be danger ahead. Great characters and story line. Faye
Comment Written 26-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 26-Oct-2014
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Danger looms, yes. Trying to find away to save them and still maintain reality. Not easy! mikey
Comment from faragon
I like the way you divide up the scenes in the chapter. Also, the way you have Cassius looking out for Florentina as if he instinctively knows what is good for her.
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I like the way you divide up the scenes in the chapter. Also, the way you have Cassius looking out for Florentina as if he instinctively knows what is good for her.
Comment Written 25-Oct-2014
Comment from flylikeaneagle
Michey: In the beginning, she recognized him as being there, "She" is the only one with visions.
Are Florentina and Valerius sister and brother back when?
I like the walk in the forest with Valerius not touching the ground as he walked and loving Julia.
Well written! Do you promote with the full amount of 10+ or do you promote with the 6+ money? I still don't understand since I am the last one on page four.
How was the stew? Tasty, I'm sure, better than the punks in your poetry! LOL
flylikeaneagle
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2014
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Michey: In the beginning, she recognized him as being there, "She" is the only one with visions.
Are Florentina and Valerius sister and brother back when?
I like the walk in the forest with Valerius not touching the ground as he walked and loving Julia.
Well written! Do you promote with the full amount of 10+ or do you promote with the 6+ money? I still don't understand since I am the last one on page four.
How was the stew? Tasty, I'm sure, better than the punks in your poetry! LOL
flylikeaneagle
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
reply by the author on 24-Oct-2014
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I always get the 9.95 thing whatever that comes with. I think it is 10 points and 52 cents. I add a lucky leprechaun if I have one. It doesn't do much good to promote books higher because only your regulars read them anyway. But stories or essays are worth promoting higher to attract new folks. Poetry too. More people read poetry so you get more of your moneys worth. If you can get it up to the first page, you should get over twenty or twenty-five reviews, maybe more. The longer you're here the more you get. It seems to take forever, but I've only been here a little over a year and I'm like an old veteran. Hahaha. Poor Valerius, can't help that love thing when it hits you!! :) mikey
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Mickey, you and Wackydo can be my big brothers. Say hi to Wackydo for me. So is Valerius and Julia you and your wife? Very good stories since I started in the beginning with this one. I started in May, now at level six, and helping the newbees. Thanks again for the tip and blessing with the poetic contest, hope the punks come in and you flee! Mine is different...so tame.
flylikeaneagle
Comment from Sankey
Lovely chapter. Had hoped there might be some romance coming along. I think we all like romance. Good work mate. Thinking about what the priest said re being a reverend and all that......Like what a preacher said years ago just came to me...dress em up like Momma's and call em Father ha!
Now some spags and suggestions. takes Julia our(t)side to consult with her in private.
The cause need not be just, it but need(s? to) be a cause."
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Lovely chapter. Had hoped there might be some romance coming along. I think we all like romance. Good work mate. Thinking about what the priest said re being a reverend and all that......Like what a preacher said years ago just came to me...dress em up like Momma's and call em Father ha!
Now some spags and suggestions. takes Julia our(t)side to consult with her in private.
The cause need not be just, it but need(s? to) be a cause."
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
Comment from GracieAnn
Mikey, at least they are seriously talking previous lives even though he does not get all the vibes, so to speak. Nice dilemma to expand upon. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
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Mikey, at least they are seriously talking previous lives even though he does not get all the vibes, so to speak. Nice dilemma to expand upon. Well done. :0 GracieAnn
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
Comment from Joe_P
Mike: You should proof this chapter again.
1. "...takes Julia ourside..." I think you mean "outside" (typo)
2. "...We continue now..." You repeat this two sentences afterward.
3. In the section "Valerius and Julia take a walk", Valerius first asks Julia to go for a walk, and then he tells it to the group. Why not just tell the group since Julia is standing there. It seems redundant.
4. Valerius and Julia don't have their discussion until the section "Julia and Valerius enjoy their time alone." I think you should move this entire section up one section. Even so, Valerius tells Julia he wants to speak to her (as her doctor). That makes 3 times Valerius says he wants to speak to Julia.
5. "... know me and know me..." (?)
6. "...of what he already saw." to "...of what he had already seen.:
7. "Most are strangers, some are familiar." A run-on.
8. "Leopold an old man that resents me." to "Leopold is an old man that resents me."
9. "There is certainly forces outside of our body." to "There are certainly forces outside of our bodies."
10. "reach thru" to "reach through"
There are a few minor problems. I mentioned only the major errors.
Be well!
Joe
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The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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Mike: You should proof this chapter again.
1. "...takes Julia ourside..." I think you mean "outside" (typo)
2. "...We continue now..." You repeat this two sentences afterward.
3. In the section "Valerius and Julia take a walk", Valerius first asks Julia to go for a walk, and then he tells it to the group. Why not just tell the group since Julia is standing there. It seems redundant.
4. Valerius and Julia don't have their discussion until the section "Julia and Valerius enjoy their time alone." I think you should move this entire section up one section. Even so, Valerius tells Julia he wants to speak to her (as her doctor). That makes 3 times Valerius says he wants to speak to Julia.
5. "... know me and know me..." (?)
6. "...of what he already saw." to "...of what he had already seen.:
7. "Most are strangers, some are familiar." A run-on.
8. "Leopold an old man that resents me." to "Leopold is an old man that resents me."
9. "There is certainly forces outside of our body." to "There are certainly forces outside of our bodies."
10. "reach thru" to "reach through"
There are a few minor problems. I mentioned only the major errors.
Be well!
Joe
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
Comment from Michaelk
I knew he was falling for her, but how will this play out? I still don't see a happy ending on the horizon. I think you've been pushing on that 'Leopold is dangerous, watch out for him' nerve a little too long, it's starting to lose a little of its strength.
Good chapter, I liked how wise and subtle Cassius was.
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I knew he was falling for her, but how will this play out? I still don't see a happy ending on the horizon. I think you've been pushing on that 'Leopold is dangerous, watch out for him' nerve a little too long, it's starting to lose a little of its strength.
Good chapter, I liked how wise and subtle Cassius was.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
Comment from Sasha
Valerius is in the middle of a potentially dangerous situation. I do hope he succeeds in keeping Julia and Florentina safe from the clutches of Leopold. You are doing a terrific job with this and my fascination with this story grows with each new chapter.
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Valerius is in the middle of a potentially dangerous situation. I do hope he succeeds in keeping Julia and Florentina safe from the clutches of Leopold. You are doing a terrific job with this and my fascination with this story grows with each new chapter.
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
Good chapter. Great last line here. A few notes to consider:
No, no dear woman -- Reads a little awkward. Do you intend just one 'no' or do you intend a comma after the second 'no' as well?
Thank you Father -- Comma after 'you'
She found it difficult to brew anger towards Valerius -- 'toward' (no s if writing for US audience). Check for this in last paragraph also.
Valerius nodded his head -- Delete 'his head'
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Good chapter. Great last line here. A few notes to consider:
No, no dear woman -- Reads a little awkward. Do you intend just one 'no' or do you intend a comma after the second 'no' as well?
Thank you Father -- Comma after 'you'
She found it difficult to brew anger towards Valerius -- 'toward' (no s if writing for US audience). Check for this in last paragraph also.
Valerius nodded his head -- Delete 'his head'
Comment Written 24-Oct-2014
