Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Physician & Patient: Pt. 3"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
15 total reviews
Comment from ProjectBluebook
i get a mixture of vibes -- here. I'm a late comer; remind me what century this is. It seems... in the medievil times, before medicine advanced, sort of prehistoric. Seems like some dark magic, in there? A possible witch? Reminds me -- Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, about a family. The prose is good, I spotted a couple misplaced commas or lack of one, but not a big deal in my book. I'm trying to get a grip on the prose, I need to read the previous chapters to fill in the blanks, obviously. Kind of has a supernatural feel and theme about it. Has two of the human senses, vision and sound. I missed the episode of how they got these supernatural gifts. This is a 180 turn from your last novel. Lots of detail and depth. Guess, the characters are growing each episode. If I had read the previous chapters, I would not be in the dark. The witch, Trellitia, that is an unusual name. Don't know how you learned of that name? Obviously, this took painstaking time to create this chapter. Wow, chapter 16, already. Over all, a good effort and I applaud you. I reserve six doubloon for the Lion keeper. Respectfully, wackydo, do loco.
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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i get a mixture of vibes -- here. I'm a late comer; remind me what century this is. It seems... in the medievil times, before medicine advanced, sort of prehistoric. Seems like some dark magic, in there? A possible witch? Reminds me -- Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter, about a family. The prose is good, I spotted a couple misplaced commas or lack of one, but not a big deal in my book. I'm trying to get a grip on the prose, I need to read the previous chapters to fill in the blanks, obviously. Kind of has a supernatural feel and theme about it. Has two of the human senses, vision and sound. I missed the episode of how they got these supernatural gifts. This is a 180 turn from your last novel. Lots of detail and depth. Guess, the characters are growing each episode. If I had read the previous chapters, I would not be in the dark. The witch, Trellitia, that is an unusual name. Don't know how you learned of that name? Obviously, this took painstaking time to create this chapter. Wow, chapter 16, already. Over all, a good effort and I applaud you. I reserve six doubloon for the Lion keeper. Respectfully, wackydo, do loco.
Comment Written 30-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 30-Sep-2014
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You're on it. This is 500 AD. Around the beginning of the Dark Ages. Roman Empire, a village outside of the main city, rural. Vision and Sound are two souls that are living different human lifetimes as diffeternt people. They keep encountering each other, but they don't know it. Here they are Julia and Valerius. Trellitia is the widow of the former physician and teaching Valerius. She isn't really a witch, when they were little they used to think she was. Glad you liked this. Different Yes? Love stars!!! One chapter after this one. Working on another. mikey
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This greatly explained and summed up my gray areas. I thought them names sounded Roman. Some people believe in reincarnation. Some preachers babble that souls have three lives. i can't recall the exact terminology. How did you think of this age, and the reincarnation thing? Bizarre, how two souls keep finding each other in alternative lives and not knowing it. i do believe, they practiced black magic back then, searching for nature's remedies for sickness and healing powers. Guess, the black plague has not it, yet. i believe fleas bite rodents, then transferred the disease. Did they use the guilitine blade back then? Believe, in Romania, they stuck heads on pikes to strike fear into the enemy as they came. I did some research in that era, doing a poem. I believe there were Roman tax collecters always collecting from peasants. they enforced the tax upon peasants. I remember a poem I once did, you were a Hermit of the Cahill clan. Sir Chatham lost his head for not collecting taxes. Yep, I got nominated for a fracking book of the month, you saw. Should of known, as soon as I left, it popped up there? I have no chance in hell! Believe Cumbrianlass is at the top of the pyramid. She has her flock that votes for her nominations on regular basis, it appears? Later Lion King. Good luck with the novel; perhaps you will get more nominations via this novel.
Comment from faragon
I am glad to see that he is working with the Wise Woman. So many times they are called on for the knowledge of nature and oft times thought of as witches. I(t sounds like Julia has still retained her memories of her past lives.
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I am glad to see that he is working with the Wise Woman. So many times they are called on for the knowledge of nature and oft times thought of as witches. I(t sounds like Julia has still retained her memories of her past lives.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
Comment from drivenbackward
This story continues to be very in-depth and with a unique style -- both big positives. A few notes to consider:
"I don't' pay attention to the silliness of children at play. -- It looks like you have some extra punctuation here on the word 'don't'
You use lowercase 'lad' early and then 'Lad' later.
"I see.' Lady Trellitia' is it? -- Unless this is intended for some reason, extra punctuation on the word 'see'
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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This story continues to be very in-depth and with a unique style -- both big positives. A few notes to consider:
"I don't' pay attention to the silliness of children at play. -- It looks like you have some extra punctuation here on the word 'don't'
You use lowercase 'lad' early and then 'Lad' later.
"I see.' Lady Trellitia' is it? -- Unless this is intended for some reason, extra punctuation on the word 'see'
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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I'll fix those typos. I need my stronger glasses, I think. Ha! I don't know which one is correct, lad or Lad. It's "Lad" because she is addressing him, right? I'm improving, I have half a clue now! Glad you're liking this. mikey
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If his name or nickname is Lad, then capitalize it. If she's just referring to him as a lad, then it's lowercase. db
Comment from CR Delport
At least with being so far behind, I have a lot of reading material. An unexpected meeting sure brought light to Julia's life. Another great chapter.
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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At least with being so far behind, I have a lot of reading material. An unexpected meeting sure brought light to Julia's life. Another great chapter.
Comment Written 29-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 29-Sep-2014
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That is an advantage sometimes. I like reading two or three chapters in a row. Thank you, mikey
Comment from seaglass
Perhaps I should label my Crescent Edge as Fantasy rather than supernatural as I didn't think any category quite fit it.
This is another well written chapter preparing us for the encounter of old souls. It will be interesting to see how this goes.
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014
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Perhaps I should label my Crescent Edge as Fantasy rather than supernatural as I didn't think any category quite fit it.
This is another well written chapter preparing us for the encounter of old souls. It will be interesting to see how this goes.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 28-Sep-2014
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I'm having the same problem. Your story is so much more than just a supernatural tale. There is so much great history in it and exploration of societal issues. The label sounds like a simple ghost story. Mine sounds like fairies riding unicorns chasing dragons! Well, we'll just write it and let them figure out what just blew their minds!!!
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lol, that's all we can do. Even if there was an option called 'other" is would help.
Comment from Phyllis Stewart
Good chapter! She recognizes Valerius!
"I only speak of what is plainly there for all to see. I do not understand father. Is everyone blind? << I lovvve this... very well stated! :)
what each potion and device [were] used for. << WAS, not WERE. The clue is EACH, implying ONE at a time, singular.
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Good chapter! She recognizes Valerius!
"I only speak of what is plainly there for all to see. I do not understand father. Is everyone blind? << I lovvve this... very well stated! :)
what each potion and device [were] used for. << WAS, not WERE. The clue is EACH, implying ONE at a time, singular.
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
Comment from kiwijenny
This is an intriguing read...It reminds me of a cs Lewis story I read once...there is a mystical quality about it...
I feel a bit under qualified to the review as this is my first visit
God bless
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This is an intriguing read...It reminds me of a cs Lewis story I read once...there is a mystical quality about it...
I feel a bit under qualified to the review as this is my first visit
God bless
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
Comment from nordicgirl
This might be the best chapter of anything you have written here. The interaction between Trelletia and Vaerius was incredible. So real and alive. Your take on mental illness is mind blowing. You are exploring something wonderful in this part of the story.
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This might be the best chapter of anything you have written here. The interaction between Trelletia and Vaerius was incredible. So real and alive. Your take on mental illness is mind blowing. You are exploring something wonderful in this part of the story.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
Comment from Jay Squires
Julia puled roughly on her father's arm [Misspell of "pull" and "pull" used twice in one sentence.]
"I understand. I have thought of nothing from the earliest wisps of my memory. [I think you forgot to add "else" after "nothing". Unless he simply had a bad memory, lol]
For a brief moment, a shudder started to run the course of his back.[Would this be a good place to insert something like "...as he recalled a childhood memory." That would tie into the last paragraph of this section. Just a notion.]
An interesting cliffhanger of an ending, as Valerius meets Julia.
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Julia puled roughly on her father's arm [Misspell of "pull" and "pull" used twice in one sentence.]
"I understand. I have thought of nothing from the earliest wisps of my memory. [I think you forgot to add "else" after "nothing". Unless he simply had a bad memory, lol]
For a brief moment, a shudder started to run the course of his back.[Would this be a good place to insert something like "...as he recalled a childhood memory." That would tie into the last paragraph of this section. Just a notion.]
An interesting cliffhanger of an ending, as Valerius meets Julia.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
Comment from Sasha
This is really getting exciting. As I have said many times, I am enjoying this immensely. I especially love how you are writing it. Keep up the good work and I anxiously look forward to the next post.
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This is really getting exciting. As I have said many times, I am enjoying this immensely. I especially love how you are writing it. Keep up the good work and I anxiously look forward to the next post.
Comment Written 27-Sep-2014
