Vision and Sound: Their Stories
Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "A Threatening Orphan"Two souls that meet as strangers on earth.
27 total reviews
Comment from JJ Rowe
I really enjoyed their first encounter and the fascinating look at first humans on earth. Even though in this encounter they are 2 men, this feels like the beginning of a love story. A love story that crosses gender, race and time. Not love as lust, but as pure genuine compassion. I enjoyed that this 'love' started at a time when people didn't understand anything outside the drive to survive (that part was explained exceptionally well!)
That is where I am emotionally pulled with this story! I have a few question about magic but I have a feeling they might get answered soon so I won't jump ahead!:) nice job!!
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I really enjoyed their first encounter and the fascinating look at first humans on earth. Even though in this encounter they are 2 men, this feels like the beginning of a love story. A love story that crosses gender, race and time. Not love as lust, but as pure genuine compassion. I enjoyed that this 'love' started at a time when people didn't understand anything outside the drive to survive (that part was explained exceptionally well!)
That is where I am emotionally pulled with this story! I have a few question about magic but I have a feeling they might get answered soon so I won't jump ahead!:) nice job!!
Comment Written 13-Dec-2014
Comment from country ranch writer
SOUNDS LIKE AN ADVENTURE OF TWO SOULS TO ME MIKEY,SUCH CARING SOULS DESERVE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER EVEN IF THEY ARE APART FOR REASONS BEYOND THEIR CONTROL
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SOUNDS LIKE AN ADVENTURE OF TWO SOULS TO ME MIKEY,SUCH CARING SOULS DESERVE TO BE WITH EACH OTHER EVEN IF THEY ARE APART FOR REASONS BEYOND THEIR CONTROL
Comment Written 28-Sep-2014
Comment from Barb Hensongispsaca
Still here and still amused with the pieces offered and I feel if I keep it up, there is a surprise waiting at the end. Very well done
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Still here and still amused with the pieces offered and I feel if I keep it up, there is a surprise waiting at the end. Very well done
Comment Written 10-Sep-2014
Comment from l.raven
HI Michael, sorry I am so late...but I will catch up... Vision and Sound....knowing each other from times passed...stayed close...have just met on earth...both were there before...so lets see what happens you...interesting...very well told... Luff Linda xxoo
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HI Michael, sorry I am so late...but I will catch up... Vision and Sound....knowing each other from times passed...stayed close...have just met on earth...both were there before...so lets see what happens you...interesting...very well told... Luff Linda xxoo
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from madhatter1977
Sorry I missed this, good set-up of characters and timeline - is this going to be an epic, Mikey? I look forward to the next chapter and incarnation. Best wishes, Pete :)
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Sorry I missed this, good set-up of characters and timeline - is this going to be an epic, Mikey? I look forward to the next chapter and incarnation. Best wishes, Pete :)
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from ravenblack
Vision climbing a tree to scout for the hunt, using sight to strategize the hunt. Sound really starting mute in his lack of influence, eliciting sounds of amusement from vision - you are using them to embody the senses. I just hope that at some point they will interact without the intervention of the narrator. It would be a gas if they eventually manifested as members of a band or vision a writer, sound a musician.
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
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Vision climbing a tree to scout for the hunt, using sight to strategize the hunt. Sound really starting mute in his lack of influence, eliciting sounds of amusement from vision - you are using them to embody the senses. I just hope that at some point they will interact without the intervention of the narrator. It would be a gas if they eventually manifested as members of a band or vision a writer, sound a musician.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2014
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That is what the real life people that these two are based on are. Much of that is in the works as the story continues. This is an awkward beginning in some respects as they are cavepeople. But, they will interact without the narrator quite a bit more in the future. The narrator will step back in prominence as he should. Great input as always. I always read and take note even though I know my responses are miles behind. I at least try to keep up with reviews. I won't be this nuts next year with rankings and all that, I promise! mikey
Comment from nordicgirl
This is an amazing read. The thought within the story is fascinating. This has endless possibilities it seems. Looking forward to more. Magic Felix is a great narrator. I would suggest you let his personality shine.
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This is an amazing read. The thought within the story is fascinating. This has endless possibilities it seems. Looking forward to more. Magic Felix is a great narrator. I would suggest you let his personality shine.
Comment Written 05-Sep-2014
Comment from robina1978
A nice and well written chapter. A pity one dies so young. And it took many years for them to meet again. I love your characters. Thanks for sharing.
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A nice and well written chapter. A pity one dies so young. And it took many years for them to meet again. I love your characters. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
Comment from Jumbo J
Hi Mike,
interesting and imaginative narrative to set up the mood... or the start as it may be... it reminded me a bit of those epic dark tales of Conan the Barbarian... you know the start, where there is a full narration to the premise of where it all started... I really like that feel... seems Vision and Sound were once female and male... if you're playing around with the idea... I still like the male female thing... now I know in heaven there is no specific gender, but on return I could see both genders switching a fair bit, which may get rather sticky? But I know you're going to work out the bugs as you go... because as I've said from the very sniff of this story... it's got the bones... just needs the flesh and muscle... I really enjoyed what you have done on this first outing... I think if anything, I would try and keep it tight, don't know if it need a few little things... like the water bed reference for instance... the 'so to speak'... the 'ha!'... things that don't really add anything... I know this well, it's one of my bugs to eradicate... but all-in-all, you have done a great job and I am excited to where this could and will go in future chapters.
With our thoughts we create,
conception of man,
James.
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Hi Mike,
interesting and imaginative narrative to set up the mood... or the start as it may be... it reminded me a bit of those epic dark tales of Conan the Barbarian... you know the start, where there is a full narration to the premise of where it all started... I really like that feel... seems Vision and Sound were once female and male... if you're playing around with the idea... I still like the male female thing... now I know in heaven there is no specific gender, but on return I could see both genders switching a fair bit, which may get rather sticky? But I know you're going to work out the bugs as you go... because as I've said from the very sniff of this story... it's got the bones... just needs the flesh and muscle... I really enjoyed what you have done on this first outing... I think if anything, I would try and keep it tight, don't know if it need a few little things... like the water bed reference for instance... the 'so to speak'... the 'ha!'... things that don't really add anything... I know this well, it's one of my bugs to eradicate... but all-in-all, you have done a great job and I am excited to where this could and will go in future chapters.
With our thoughts we create,
conception of man,
James.
Comment Written 03-Sep-2014
Comment from Loren (7)
Well, I have to say your premise is intriguing. I was thinking Jan Aule's "Clan of the Cavebear" when I first started reading, but then the names you gave your characters suggested another avenue of thought. Maybe at some point the names converge into one soul bringing understanding of their existence and possible pre-life. Loren
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Well, I have to say your premise is intriguing. I was thinking Jan Aule's "Clan of the Cavebear" when I first started reading, but then the names you gave your characters suggested another avenue of thought. Maybe at some point the names converge into one soul bringing understanding of their existence and possible pre-life. Loren
Comment Written 02-Sep-2014
